Tamoxifen 34 *the power of Sauron*

[MaryAnnSingleton]

new thread !!!

Mean't 'over' rated. D'oh..!

It has rained and rained all day here. The dc are at grandmas for a sleepover so dh and I have not a lot to do. We can't get on with the decorating whilst it is so chilly as we would not be able to open the windows. We actually went for a drive as we were bored earlier.

We did take the hounds to the beach this morning where they got absolutely soaked and have been curled up together ever since (photo on FB ! )

Hope you are more comfy now gig. It must be a strange time waiting for round 2 of the reconstruction. We all have the piss up to look forward to though.

Evening all - just back from an afternoon at DS and DDIls, - very full of lunch as DDIL had made a lovely chilli and chocolate cake for pud.
DS has an interview in a couple of weeks for another job at the prison (working with the prisoners who are a bit too disturbed to go into the ordinary education classes) - It'll give him more hours and he'll keep going with his other teaching too.

Smee- lovely to see you back - I guessed Panama - so I was wrong very close and claim my prize - am seriously impressed by zip wire antics and snake wrangling - brilliant!

Gigs - glad you are having a nice day at home, and getting hospital out of your system, have a relaxing time so you are ready for part 2 of your bionificationization.

Hope topsy and HND are having a good time (why do I feel fairly sure that they are? ) and are partaking of the hair of the dog.

Waving to all xx

Hoping Asho is OK - we haven't heard from her for a few days, - is she on FB?

Wow, Costa Rica sounds totally amazing smee ! so glad it was a success - bet ds loved it.
Saw pics of big and mini gig at rugby chocolate loaf sounds yum.
Never had morphine as far as I know - should I feel deprived ?
Nice day -friend over from Twick (must live near you two copt and gig -Second Cross Road) -had lunch here and then sat and chatted, and then ate lemon drizzle cake. Dh is making pizza for supper

good luck to ds kk fingers crossed. Lunch sounds delicious.
topsy looks beautiful -have seen her all poshed up - amazing shoes too.

Ohh going to check out topsy now/ think ash was on fb a couple of days ago.

Plenty of cake left smee. And agree about morphine- doesn't do much for pain , your mood or your sense of being alert. So missing nothing mas!

Kurri- that sounds like a good day and job op for dh sounds good.

Yes - am ok about stage 2 in sense am nervous but am trying to prepare so not so anxious and make it as nice as possible. Two weeks away will be hard tho .

And your friend lives very close mas- sounds like a good day ESP with cake and pizza.

Evening my lovelies

Feeling quite pleased with myself - had choir "come and sing" day today and did my solo. Conductor said it was the best I'd ever sung it

Pissing with rain here although a bit warmer, thank goodness.

gig glad the effects of morphine have worn off and you're feeling better. I had oramorph in hospital last year and remember feeling pretty spaced out on it. I am definitely up for a London Town meet up once you're all done

Sounds like you had an amazing time smee not at all, honest! Glad the tax man was able to fund such an great trip

kurri that sounds positive for DS then? Good for him! What news with DH? Any progress? Have you enlisted DS to help you get through to him? Hope you are OK, lovely lady x x x

MAS what is the name of the book and from whence can we purchase it? Looks great!

NJ hope you're ok? Bet the dogs went wild on the beach!

DH made braising steak stew - smells yum. Will pop some on the hot plate of the trolley for you to try.

Lots of love to everyone x x x

That's great ned.

The meet up will definitely keep me going . Dh has asked if their is any interest in a dp one? He is outgoing and quite good with people (part of his job) so don't think he would be phased as acting as host.

We are now watching dogging tales from few weeks ago

Evening All !

Ooooh I feel a bit done in .
My ladies did my hair and make up today because they didn't want to go out in public with me and my Nanna hair !

We went for an early dinner and cocktails (as last night was a late and messy one) and we are all back in my house now in our pjs .
We have cheese and houmous and a variety of drinks .

But I think I may need to sneak off to bed soon .
This old lady has peaked !

I've had a fab weekend , and I finally feel like me again and not A Cancer Victim

Love you all x

I channelled my Nanna Hair into a bit of a Zoe Wannamaker if anyone cares to pop over to Facebook and have a look !

your hair looked FAB topsy !!
Well done ned - how lovely !
the book is The Bumper Book of Very Silly Jokes and is published by Macmillan Children's Books
Dh is v shy gig though am sure he and your dh would get on

Seen it already topsy and you look really fab.

My dh is very antisocial it goes with his job

Can I ask please if any of you had a dip after treatment ? I feel like I should be bouncing around and all better and people are treating me like it is done and dusted but I feel rubbish.
My mood has really dipped. Going back to work will help as I will have less time to think about things but I am convinced I am brewing more cancer somewhere and it is just a matter of time. Then I feel silly. Then I think as it happened once it will happen again. I won't find out if I need more treatment for a few months.
I have onc appointment next week and will get my initial scan results. I am terrified of bad news.
Did anyone get any nhs counselling after treatment and was it any good ? I need a handbook to tell me how too cope.

NJ - very very normal to have a dip, I certainly did and it is a recognised 'thing' to happen after cancer treatment - I found this article very helpful (I have posted it before, but possibly before you joined us, but apologies if you have already seen it ) - worth clicking on all the sections.

I did have a couple of sessions of talking with a counsellor after treatment, but it was at a cancer support centre, so not referred by GP. I did find it helpful, because you can voice your fears which you can't always do at home.
Do mention how you are feeling to your onc. - they take the emotional side of it all as seriously as the physical side and will probably have helpful suggestions for you. xx

ned well done on brilliant singing -good for you, talented lady.

topsy I don't have FB but I know your hair will look fab, glad you are having such a great weekend my lovely.

Waving to MAS and Gigs.

Yes dip very normal - ESP when meant to be happy. I think someone with cancer experience is better as understand the patterns.

You looked wonderful topsy - and I never ever think of you as a cancer victim. You (and all of you here) keep me going at times.

Mas- big gig has been trailing round with the book all day and is now making up jokes . I blame you .

Am all jet lagged due to drugs and hospital so can't sleep (and a bit anxious about op). Pass some snacks topsy.

Also books and tv/film suggestions welcome for my spell inside.

Thanks ladies I was thinking I was odd being so down at the moment. Glad to hear I am normal. kk thanks for that link I will read it all when I have a moment later.

gigs don't have any suggestions for your two week stint that you have not already heard I expect. I found embracing daytime TV got me through as I could not concentrate enough for much else.

Off for an early morning walk on the beach throwing egg on toast on the trolley as we scoot off out of the door.

Waves madly to smee glad you had a super time. Sounds lovely and like ned I'm not the least bit .

Been reading but no time to post but so glad to see you home gigs.

Looks like topsy and hnd had a drunken great time. Loved the hair Topsy and your Rapunzl look is rather fetching hnd.

notj I agree with everyone else a dip is totally normal. It seemed to hit me when active treatment/appointments slowed down and I had more time to think of things. It will pass.

Still not dressed yet as had friends for dinner last night so feeling a bit worn out today. Probably not the best time to organise it on my first week back to work but was a nice relaxed night. Have left some chocolate brownies and lemon tart on the fbs trolley so that I don't hoover up the left overs.

Looks like copt is having a ball too.

Right this lazy mare is going to get showered. Catch up later.

Mas - I may send your joke book back . Big gig is following me round the house reading them and making them up. I am not convinced a career in comedy awaits .

Had lovely day out and about in sun (back a bit stiff tho) and some shopping for hospital . Treated myself to some fluffy flip flops. Dh and I took view that not doing much doing nothing for my anxiety or sleep issues so got out and did stuff.

Park sunshine and picnic was popular with little gigs.

Hope everyone else had a good day.

arf - apologies gig the jokes are pretty awful...

Phew! Mum in bed with antiques roadshow. And I've got a ?

Jane, sounds well deserved. Enjoy your evening.

Waves madly back to Gracie

NotJ, yes v.normal - so much so that I was told to expect it. Still tough though. What day's your appointment? Hope soon so you don't have to wait much longer. I wish I had gone to a counsellor looking back. You should be able to get one through your hospital team. Worth a whirl as it's somewhere to take it all iyswim. Talk here though too. We get it in a way others don't.

Big Gig's reading?? Gig, are you a Stephen Fry lover? I find a bit smug, but he's so honest about it he's bearable. I listened to one of his audio books while we went on long drives on holiday and it's v.entertaining. Not sure what your book taste is? Let me know and I'll have a think.

Topsy your hair looked divine (of course!). Glad you and HND had a great time. HND, I can't work out who you are in the pics, so can't tell you how divine you undoubtedly looked..!

Been in the garden for the first time today. Was gorgeous. Cat went giddy with excitement to have us out there. Very funny to see him racing round showing off. Hope everyone's okay.

Still no news from Asho. Hope you're okay xx

Hi everyone,

Sorry I didn't mean to worry everyone. I'm alright, just had a few days of feeling very bleurgh and quite tired and just wanted to pretend this all wasn't happening I've been thinking of you all lots, especially gigs I just got myself in a bit of a weird mood and I can't really explain it

I was very "brave" and read my latest oncologist letter, you know the bit where it says letters and numbers, like C2T2... Well I found out my cancer had spread to two lymph nodes which I sort of knew it must have but it freaked me out. Plus I was peed off anyway because Dr W has delayed my infusion because he thought the procedure I had last week was stoma surgery even though every week I tell him I don't have a stoma so in fact I would've been well enough for infusion but he was on holiday so no chance to correct the mistake. Anyway it all got a bit much and I shoved my head in the sand and I've been kinda ignoring everyone not just you lovely ladies I think I just needed a bit of time to myself to wallow.

I saw some friends yesterday though including one with a lovely little baby so I had baby snuggles and my parents have put up a swing bench so I can chill in the garden and I have given myself a good talking to and decided that hiding from the world doesn't make any of it any better!

So much to catch up on so I will try...

gig I'm glad your op went well and you've been let out. A shame you didn't have a very pleasant time there though :( glad big gig is enjoying the book

smee Costa Rica sounds amazing! Wow to the zip wires - that really is brave. Eek.

topsy and HND it looks like you've been having a fabulous time! Topsy your hair looked brilliant, really lovely and you are not like a cancer victim at all, you are the wildest person on the thread

KK how is old lady dog? And sorry things are difficult with DH. I hope you are able to get some time together away from the game!

MAS well done on the book! I shall looking it out, a joke book sounds perfect for rubbish chemo days

ned well done on your solo! :)

NJ sorry you are feeling down, I'm sure it's totally normal, especially when you have such a long wait, hopefully the initial results will be reassuring :)

coorong thank you for the PGCE insights and I'm glad your results were good!

jane enjoy your well deserved

gracie glad you had a good time with friends :)

Hi amber if you're around :)

Sorry to everyone I've missed, this is getting ridiculously long! I hope you've all had a good weekend and hopefully got some sunshine :)

Aw good you are back but my advice is NEVER read onc letter. You may well know what is in them but the way they are written is horrid.