Nearly ended up in hopital last night because of PND

[melsy]

I dont really know if I can write what happened last night as it is still raw and painful this morning.

I had a terrible terrible panic/anxiety attack, of which was so terrifying I cannot explain just yet and if it wasnt for the most amazing paramedics at 2:00 in the morning I would have ended up being strapped to a bed in A&E. I pleaded and cried with my mum & them not to let them take me as I was so fearful of going back into Chase Farm.

I feel very overwhelmed today , my mum is coming over to look after dd so I can rest in bed. I cant really write to much now as I am very drained. But I feel I will need to talk about it later as I am a bit shell shocked from it right now.

Hi Melsy, I've only just caught up with this post, I will text you tomorrow, I did not save your e-mail address. I hope you are much better now?????? If not I will have to take you out somewhere, abit of retail therapy might work? If you need me please call, you will get through this, I know how strong willed you really are. Take care and we will talk soon, all my love.

Melsy, how are you doing ?

hello again

my friend who also had panic attacks had these spasms and paralysis, when going to bed one night she went all rigid with her hands clenched and could not move or talk, her mother had to call an ambulance, they di dnot take her to hospital but made her breathe into a paper bag, when you get a panic attack your body goes into fight or flight mode - its a human survival instinct. our bodies prepare themselves to run or fight so basically physically our hearts speed up, adrenalin is released, our breathing quickens - all to heat our muscles up to prepare to run/fight and menatlly we become totally over sensitive to our surroundings (paranoia), ours senses are over exaggerated sound, sight, smell etc and all the time you are standing still so you can kind of understand why your body starts to shake etc... im not trying to explain your experience though. wheni got panic attacks my body would also shake uncontrollably. i went to a & e one night as my sight went for a few secs, i was kept in for a week and had all testes including a brain scan. they found nothing and sent me home saying i was just stressed! that was a few years ago, people know more about panic attacks now. i was offered drugs but i refused, to me it was a temporary solution, i knoew the problem was not physical and that it was in my head. i was so worried and thought i was going to feel like that forever. but they did go. the first thing to learn is to contol them. when i would feel an attack come on, i would note my breathing as 9 out of ten times i would be holding my breath as this is what you do when scared.

1. Slow down your heart rate and breathing
   Breath through your nose and out your mouth (trick is to do this as slowly and steady as possible, fill your lungs with air through your nose as much as you can and very very slowly release it out of your mouth until every bit of air in your lungs has gone. repeat whilst doing the following.

2. Tensing and relaxing all your muscles
   Starting at your feet you work your way up your body whilsy breathing slowly, so clench both your feet (curl your toes under) and hold for 10 secs (all the time breathing like in step 1) then your calfs, tighs, bum, stomach, arch your back, lift your shoulders to your chin, arms, fists, screw your face...

3. by the time you get to your face your body should be relaxing, as you would have lowered your heart rate and breathing

4. now use your mind and picture a beautiful scene or whatever makes you happy. its all about controlling your mind and not letting it control you.

i would do the aboce technique if i got a panic attack, i usually got them when i was on my way to college so i would sit on the train trying not to look like a nutter but it awlays worked.

ill email more later - my dd is up to mischief.

I cant believe its nearly a week since the horrible attack happened. Suffice to say it continued all through Saturday(spasms & facial paralysis) and I just got into a cycle of pain that I couldnt stop.As none of the people I saw new why I was so severley spasming, I sat on the internet that morning trying to work out what had happened. I also spoke to my cousin who is a yr away from qaulifying as a doctor. What I found out was that prolonged hyperventilation causes Alcolosis which is co2 poisening & it creates convulsions and tremors. So I got my mum to take me to A&E in barnet in the afternoon as I was so worried about going to Chase farm , I also had had NO TESTS whatsoever to rule out anything else. The receptionist was very good and found me a more private area to sit in as I was in a bit of a state. Finally the nurse saw me after an hrs wait and agreed that I could have toxic blood and would need a special blood test. I then waited an hr to see the doctor, (it all takes so long), but I must say the nurse was fantastic and pushed me up priority. Unfortunately I had to explain to the doc what was going on and he was reluctant to test me for anything and said that it was stress etc. I got very upset so he managed to find the senior consultant who sat with me for some time and just repeated what I had been told the last few days. He agreed to several blood tests to assure me that I wasnt having a physical problem. He was ok with me , but I couldnt help feeling like I was being seen as a nutter. So the previous doc came back and took blood for thyroid,sugar etc he then got a strange tubular contraption with a needle out of a packet for the Alcolsis/Acidosis test(I think because I demanded the test he said), "This test will be very painful do you want it or not as I have many other patients that have been waiting hours who are more serious than you".To which my mum said "there is no need to talk to her like that", to which he replied "I will not treat her if you talk like this" chucked everything in the bin and walked out! By this time I was about ready to scream, and all my mum was doing was protecting me.So after calming down I had to go out and calm him down and MAKE NICE with him so he would do the test, he then came back in and asked all my family to leave as he said they were causing my stress!!! .How mad is that, may be theres some truth in that!!. Anyway after an another hours wait in the waiting room 90% of the tests came back clear ,which helped me calm down immensly. I am still waiting on thyroid and electrolytes(I am not sure what that is; minerals???).
To help my amazing DH booked me into a day Spa on Sunday , so I had a day of total calm and relaxation& care from an wonderful practioner who helped me release the tension. If anything I was in so shell shocked and in so much pain I had to do something. I know we cant all run off to spas every time things go wrong but it really helped me. I know it doesnt fix a very serious condition, but I have also booked a session of Hypnotherapy (which I have never done)whilst waiting for the CBT from the NHS.

I have been calm since Sunday with slight tremors here and there, I have ventured out a little but taking it easy with no arrangments. I feel very giddy alot , so may be someting is wrong medically who knows? I told my GP yesterday I wasnt happy she sent me to mental health unit as it really didnt help , there so quick to go the fruedian route. She didnt like that, so I dont think she will help anymore and I will have to find another Gp yet again.

Melsy,
Did the spasms come on AFTER you started taking the citalopram? It is possible that they were an adverse reaction to the drug. I hope all carries on improving for you.

Norma I havent had spasms ever before . I have been on the citalopram for 3 months now and this is the first time a panic attack has happened since being on them?? The docs seem reluctant to change my meds though unitl the extra 10mg takes effect?

Melsy - Thanks goodness your mum was with you. I am staggered at the different ways drs treat you when there is an 'emotional' problem. Ive had a number of physical illnesses that have needed treatment over the years and have always been treated with respect as a professional, intelligent woman. Mention 'panic attacks' or 'depression' and they suddenly talk to you as though you are irrelevant!
Anyway - rant over.
Glad the tests came back negative.
What youre going through sounds v v similar to when I was having major panic attacks- just constantly felt uneasy and was convinced that there was something physically wrong with me.

Maybe give the cipramil another couple of weeks to kick in at higher dose but if no improvement by then you should ask about other options. I know my panic attacks got much much worse when I initially took prozac.
Glad you managed to enjoy the spay.
Kizziex

That sounds absolutely awful, Melsy. I can't believe the way you were treated, that's appalling. Mind you, I once called a night dr to 6mth ds2 (who was burning up and semi-comatose with rolling eyes) and she said she might come to see him if no one who was really ill called her first. It was years ago, I thought that attitude had died out, but it seems not. Take care.

don't have any experience of this at all but just wanted to say thinking about you and hope you get all the help and support you so obviously deserve, what a lovely dh you have to look after you

Melsy - sorry to hear you are going through all this - can't offer any advice just hope you recover soon - best wishes..

Sorry to hear of your horrendous day. I think the hypnotherapy will help you a lot, it can be transforming. You def need some TLC.