Coping after a 2nd Caesarian

[Kath100]

As I have a formula one race track as opposed to a normal birth canal, my first child (he's now 2) was (eventually!) born via C-section. I'm due to give birth again at the end of March, and will have to have another C-section then (apparently anything under 5lbs is never going to get out - child number 1 was 9lbs and judging from the size of my bump no.2's similar!). Can you help put my mind at rest re:

1. Making no.1 understand that mummy still loves him even though I won't be able to pick him up for a hug for a while (unless someone else puts him on my knee for me)
2. Getting no.1 in and out of the bath - any ideas on how to do this without lifting??
3. What thoughts re letting no.1 come visit mummy in hospital? Or is that too scary for a 2 year old?

Any other advice on coping with a toddler after a c-section also v welcome!

Kath

PS Sorry if you've seen this before - not sure where best to post it!

After my second c-section, I couldn't have done without the help I had. I'd say it was probably about 3-4 weeks till I felt I could manage and even then my son (2 at the time) attended nursery full-time for 2 months or so. But you do manage somehow with two. Coming to visit you in hospital shouldn't be a problem or a hug - I just found my son was so high on all the attention he was getting from grandparents that he wasn't the least bit interested in me or the baby. As for the bath, could he just put one foot on the edge, and then step onto a plastic step up boxes. I used to use a bunkbed ladder to put him into his cot and put the ladder into the cot to get him out which he really enjoyed. If you can get any bit of help even just for the lifting bits it will make all the difference and don't worry you'll manage (somehow!).

Kath100 sorry to be blunt but what about DH/DP? could he not do baths? I've also had two c sections but no 1 was 3 when DD was born. If your no 1 is still in a cot you could take off one side or drop the side down and leave a chair next to it so he can get in and out. I don't know how I managed but did somehow and don't have bad memories, I'm sure you'll be OK. Make the most of the stay in hospital to get some rest (ask for a side room). Good Luck. R.

My no 2 was born by emergency C section. As no 1 was a text book natural delivery I naively assumed it would be the same second time around. So, at least you are better prepared!
I was really concerned about looking after an energetic 21/2 year old wholst not being able to lift. Although my husband was keen to help out when he was at home, he was back to work after 10 days and often got home after bath time. If your oldest child gets used to being more independent now it certainly helps. Lifting in and out of the bath was something we never really successfully tackled, but the odd night without a bath didn't kill him.
Visiting in hospital was something my oldest one loved. Although visits had to be kept quite short, he was really delighted to see his little brother and of course loved all the snacks and chocs everyone had brought in so I could avoid hospital food.
Once we got home things were much easier than I had expected. Newborns do tend to sleep for such a lsrge percentage of the day that it gave me time to focus on big brother. There were occasions when all hell let loose with everyone in tears at once, but those occasions were rare(honest!)
With hindsight I think as long as you can ignore all housework and enjoy just spending time at home with the children it can be a great time. I had low expectations as regards going out and about. You will hopefully have visitors anyway, hopefully they'll do a bit of hoovering while they're there!
Good luck

I just told my two-year old that Mummy couldn't pick him up for a while because i had a sore tummy and he seemed to accept that.
As for the bath, we got one of those plastic steps and he really likes using that to get into the bath.
He came and visited me evry day I was in hospital and that was fine.
I would also suggest getting some paid help for the first few weeks if you can afford it.
also, I found my recovery from my second c-section was much faster than my first - I was driving again after three weeks and back to lifting my 2-year old after 4, with no ill effects so far.
Good Luck!

Oh dear I was bad, I carried my 2 yr old while I was still in hospital after the c-section! It didn't occur to me not to! She is only little and weighed about 22lbs, but i picked her up within 24hrs of the operation. Hey I was in bed hours after the c-section and I had to get up and pick up the baby, since the midwife wasn't going to help. But then I did make them take the catheta (sp?) out 5 hrs after the birth and I had a shower then. Yes I got out of bed 4 hrs after having the baby (again it didn't occur to me not to!)

I am haveing a planned section in april and am really concerned how i will cope ,my first child was an emergancy section but i found things quite easy not haveing any other kids, my 2nd was a prem birth and she had loads of probs shes 4 now and disabled,she needs alot of extra care althouth she is quite independent and goes to a mainstrem preschool and is due to start school(again mainstream) in sep,she still needs alot of help with daily tasks such as walking and climbing stairs,my family are great and my dh plans to take some time of work but it still worrys me that the extra support will dwindle off after a week or so.

Ariel - you've got alot on your plate, so don't be ashamed to admit you're still worried about how you will cope. I have never had a cs as my 3 were born naturally, but I do know that the experts say that you should take things easy for about 6 weeks afterwards to allow your body to recover. This seems like a lifetime when you've got kids to look after! I wonder if maybe you could talk to your GP or midwife to see if you could get some extra help from somewhere. As your daughter does require special care, they may be able to advise you. I'm not sure if there is anything like this, but it never hurts to ask. Also, I know some of the others have suggested on different threads about speaking to your local college, as some have students on child care courses who need to go on placements with local families. I'm sure that your friends and family would be more than happy to help you out though, most people are really pleased to be asked and allowed to get involved - I know I would be. Best wishes to you and keep us informed.

Sorry to hear of the problems you have all experienced after first or second c/sections. However, I am due to go in for my 4th (yes fourth) c/section in 4 weeks time and am absolutely dreading it. My existing children are not the problem - youngest is 4 1/2 and doesn't need to be lifted etc but I have found my recovery from each section to take longer each time. Knowing what I'm going to go through is making my fears much worse. Any comments?

Thanks all so much for your contributions. Like the idea of steps for existing child to climb in and out of bath (could be a disaster waiting to happen, but certainly worth a try!). Also encouraging that others have recovered quicker second time around. Will also swallow pride and allow mother to stay just as long as she likes!!