Alcohol questions

[feelinghelpless]

Can you help an alcoholic if they don't think they have got a problem?

No, sorry it is short and sweat, but that is the honest answer.

That's what I thought. Thanks anyway.

Feelinghelpless - What's the situation? .... don't want to be nosy, but you might get loads more advice on how to perhaps make them realise they have a problemn if you posted a bit about what's going on.

Have you confronted this person? Must be an awful situation for you to be in.

Hopefully someone here can give you some helpful advice or links.

It's my brother. Always seems to have a drink in his hand, can't go a day without one. It seems that when he is drunk now, he is verbally abusive (not violent) towards my sil. He has young children and I think he needs some help.

Oh dear. Does he get drunk every night? Must be worrying especially for your Sil.
Is he very hostile if you suggest to him that he has a problem?
Do you think there might be something that has triggered it.... when did it start?

Sorry.... 20 questions eh!

Speaking from a wealth of experience there is absolutely NOTHING that you ( or anyone else for that matter ) can do, if the person concerned will not face the music personally and admit that they have a problem. Even IF they do agree with you - actually seeking that help is another issue all together.
It is obviously bothering you a great deal ( and I am not surprised ) - very often it's those closest to the alcoholic who do the most suffering.
With that in mind - I would advise you ( and your SIL - if she is willing ) to contact your local Al-Anon group. This is the support group for those who have to live with the alcoholic .... all the confidentiality rules apply.
Believe me I didn't think that this sort of thing was for me - and admittedly I did not go regularly - BUT they offer pracical advise.

If there was one concrete thing that I gained from the meetings, it was that I could not try and control the alcoholic - they had to do that themselves..... I began to look after number one ( and my immediate family ) rather than try and change the drinker .... I've realised that it's not worth the effort. They will change IF/when they are ready.
My life is soooo much better since I have gained control over MY life again. The future is looking a lot brighter.
Good Luck .... sermon over

Feelinghelpless: I SO agree with Crystaltips - my sister was an alcoholic for several years, and in the end, instead of trying to get her to help herself, I realised I had to look after myself and my family first. Basically, that meant not seeing a lot of her, and it was a very hard time. FWIW, when she finally realised she had a problem it was because something happened to her (not sure what) that was so awful it shocked her into getting on top of her drinking. I could only advise your SIL to get advice, and to look after her and children first. MUCH easier said than done, though.