HAS ANYONE BEEN THROUGH A VASECTOMY REVERSAL??

[claireh11]

ANYONE BEEN THROUGH VASECTOMY REVERSAL??

Hi just wondering if any of you out there have been through a vasectomy reversal with your other halfs as me and dh looking into it as he had one after our ds was born, who is now 3 yo and I desperately want another baby. Sounds bit weird asking but if yo dont ask you dont get the info.

Thanks

My dh had one for me about 5 years after his vasectomy (done in a previous relationship). We were told that it had been unsuccessful (according to 2 sperm tests done afterwards). However, luckily for us, the doctors were wrong and we got pregnant not long after the reversal and even got pregnant a second time within a month of starting to try.
Best of luck. But please do remember that the reversal is a major operation and a much more serious proposition than the vasectomy. My dh was under ga for 2 hours, in bed for a week afterwards and very sore for many more weeks. He still has related soreness and minor problems and it's been over 6 years since the reversal.

Oh goodness, I'll not tell him about that then otherwise he wont get it done. He doesnt really want it done I dont think but basically I'm 27 and he's 40 - I feel that strongly about having another that if I cant i will have to seriously consider the relationship and no I dont think having another baby solves all problems but we really dont have any other than him selfishly getting the snip when ds was 18 months old!!

Thanks for the advice. Out of curiosity can I ask how your dh got his done as we have been looking around and cheapest we have been quoted is £1600 by BUPA.

If you don't tell him, the consultant will. The consultant will outline all that is involved, risks and recovery.

I think you should see a relationship counsellor myself.

The decision to have a baby is a highly personal one. It's something BOTH partners should agree on 100%.

How would you feel if you didn't want another child, but your partner wanted you to have major surgery in order to have one or else threatened you w/divorce?

Sorry to play the devil's advocate but it sounds like you both need counselling rather than a vasectomy reversal.

He has already fathered 3 children. Maybe he honestly doesn't want any more.

Someone I know had a eversal in his 2nd marriage as he had the vasectomy in his first as they had 2 children. It was sucessful and he fathered a little boy.

yes i can see where ur coming from but he never wanted any more children before ds was born (accident) and he wouldnt be wihtout him now. He does want another one he thought I didnt ans was doing me a favour getting it done in first place so I didnt have to take the pill forever!! Silly man thinks after hes acted lol

expat, my dh's consultant gave him no warning about what a big deal it was.

claireh11:
It's a little odd that your dh had the snip without doing a serious consultation with you. Are you sure that you are both communicating clearly with each other. Maybe a little marriage counselling might be a good idea before you bring another child into the mix.
My dh had his done on the nhs. He spoke with his gp and told him the story and the gp referred him to a consultant. he was then on a waiting list to have it done (about a one year wait) and I just kept calling for cancellations and got it done within a few months. (I think they were so tired of hearing my voice every week that they just fit us in to get rid of me).

claireh11 my dp had his vasectomy reversed last year on the nhs he'd had it done 20yrs ago before he met me! he's 50 and i'm 31. we still don't know if it's been sucessful as he's been finding it difficult to provide a sample lol anyhow we saw doc in june to be referred then consultant in august and he had it done in october!!! we were origanally told would take 1-2yrs to have done.oh and he says it seems to improved things ..sensations etc not done any damage at all.
good luck

my dad had the snip after my brother was born. he died when he was 2.5, and mum & dad decided they wanted another. He had the reversal, adn I was born 1.5 years later, so his was obviously done, adn was successful very quickly.

Claire - before you jump into things, be reallly certain its what you both want. You say if you can't have another you may consider leaving, but have you thought howhe will feel if you do have another. If he really wanted more children he wouldn't have gone through with the snip in the first place. You really do need to both sit down adn talk about what you both want.

Thanks everyone. yes we have sat down and talked and are now at the point where he is 99% sure he wants another one with me, just wants to be 100% sure that he is doing it cos we both want to and not cos I am forcing him to. I would never force him to him as then he will end up resenting me and the new baby.

Its very difficult we lost a baby before ds was born and he said give it a couple of years and we will have babies. Ds was born within 2 years to the month of that so I was then expecting another one but he decided he was going the have the snip. Not being prejudice but he is an ex-Army Geordie and very stubborn in his decision making. I didnt threaten him with leaving, I simply told him that I felt cheated out of another one and that I had tried to hide the feelings for 3 years and couldnt do it anymore. I have been baby mad since a young child myself (used to be called motherclaire by family lol) and simply cannot get over this strong feeling that I NEED another one.

Ds is 3 and dont want him being an only child, all my friends and family are having their next lot of babies and I desperately want one and there is nothing wrong with me to stop me doing so. I am 27 dh is 40.

Oh well we need to go to docs and see what can be done but doubt NHS will pay for it so we are saving up the £2000 to get it done ourselves in case they wont.

Hi Claire

I know a guy who had a vasectomy while in one relationship and neither of them wanted children but then he met someone else and decided to have the reversal - they have a little boy now.

On the other side - I am a bit older than you (almost 42) with one child conceived through IVF. I went through stages of almost leaving DH due to his reluctance to have another child. DS is now almost 5 and although I am hoping to try IVF again very soon, I must admit to not being as panicked about it. In my case those panicky feelings about "needing" another child did fade. I am not saying that this will be true in your case but bear it in mind if you are thinking of ending your relationship. Relationship counselling sounds like a good idea.