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General health

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Flip

Original poster

How long after giving birth does sex stop being painful?

15 replies

RuthT · 18/04/2006 21:44

I know there are some lucky ones out there who have not had any pain after natural childbirth and an episiotomy but I am not one of them.

Any one out there with the same issue?

OP posts:

TravelFiend · 18/04/2006 21:48

Hm, after DD was born and episiotomy I thought things would never return to normal. In fact after about 6 weeks there was no problem whatsoever and if not sleep deprived could probably have done the deed a week or two sooner!

jmum6 · 18/04/2006 21:52

I'm with TravelFiend I'm afraid. Was really surprised how soon it got back to normal after nat childbirth and episiotomy.

BUT a friend of mine had an episiotomy and was stitched back up too tightly, and was unable to have sex at all.

After 6 months she had to have surgery to recut and stitch it all back up properly . She's fine now and has just had her 2nd baby - understandably she chose an elective c section!

mosschops30 · 18/04/2006 21:52

take your time, how long is it since you gave birth. We tried after about 3 weeks (although I didnt have an episiotomoy) my advice is use LOADS of KY Jelly the first few times .... as they say at Tesco ... every little helps

morningpaper · 18/04/2006 21:52

took me 18 months

morningpaper · 18/04/2006 21:53

A gynae I spoke to said that it generally will be in a state of 'repair' internally (in deep tissues etc) for about 12 months, so try not to worry too much

shimmy21 · 18/04/2006 21:58

First time round midwives cooed over my 'neat' episiotomy stitches and what a lovely job etc. It took a year before sex was pain free.
Second time round was a hatchet job (rushed at home birth without pain relief) and sex was amazingly pain free from the very first time (6 weeks after birth).

Upsadaisy · 18/04/2006 22:00

Oh I suffered after both children, I was put off sex for a while. If its any consilation I had completely forgotten about that time despite it being a big deal. Again with both I went to the doctors and back to the hospital and they never could find anything wrong.
The pain on both occasions upset me greatly and I thought something was wrong with me and I never could imagine having sex without any concerns but it went. The pain got easier as time went on and I relaxed more and we took things steady no wam bam thankyou man type of scenarios.

We now have a fantastic sex life and I had completely forgotten about the pain previous.

I would say go to the doctors first if you haven't already and get checked out and I realise that this is easy for me to say but try not worry about it. Things take time to heal fully after childbirth.

Original poster

RuthT · 18/04/2006 22:04

Its now 9 months post the birth and it still hurts, did try after 3 months (couldn't face kit before that as too tired (that ol chesnut!)

I am sure it is to do with the stiches, as not getting to technical it at the entrance not deeper inside. (sorry if that is just too much detail )

Again midwife thought she had created a masterpeice shimmy21 - so I smile with a wry grin at your note.

In fact just the whole subject is a bit embarrassing!

OP posts:

sixtwosix · 18/04/2006 22:06

neverr, because ther is always the possibility that you might get pregnant again.

Rhubarb · 18/04/2006 22:09

6 months with mine. I think you have to start slowly, do everything but penetration at first, and see how that goes. Can you insert a tampon? The more you 'use' it, the easier it will get. You'll be tensing up too, which'll make it worse. So take the pressure off yourself and start real slowly with an understanding partner.

jamiesam · 18/04/2006 22:19

Around 6months for me too. Drs gave me the most embarrassing kit of plastic dildos to erm help out with tightness and pain during sex. Have to say I was too embarrassed to use them and pain eased after around a month of gentle sex (me on top and in control iyswim)

bobblehead · 19/04/2006 00:25

At 10 months I can still feel where I had the stitches (just inside) but it only hurts now on intial entry

ItalianJob · 19/04/2006 08:51

I had similar to you. Sex was grim at first, and I had to be in certain very specific positions or it would be agony. The mws also cooed about what a beautiful job they had done on my stitches!!! I found that if I used tons of lube - i.e. a lot more than you would think should be necessary things were much better.

MumtoBen · 19/04/2006 19:36

14 months and it is still painful, internally and externally. You might want to read through the responses on the thread I started under Childbirth - "Has anyone had a vaginoplasty".

Original poster

RuthT · 20/04/2006 20:06

MumToBen I can't believe what a time you and fuppy have had. I read the thread you started and it just sounds awful.

It is reassuring to know that I am not the only one having issues, in fact there are a few of the girls in my nct group who are also still experencing discomfort during sex so it is clearly common. I think people just don't talk about it and just get on with it.

I have to say Fluppy's response sounds similar to the problem I have so I hope she responds to this one.

It is difficult to describe the pain.

In fact the birth I had was very fast for a first time - under 5 hours from first contraction to baby being born. The midwife did not believe me when I said I had to push and couldn't stop. She also did not give a local anaesthetic when cutting me for the espiseostomy which I can still vividly remember! I am also sure that I was stitched for over an hour - although my husband is not sure.

Either way it still hurts!

OP posts:

Flip