Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

GP Advice please......

12 replies

Fedupnagging · 17/12/2012 18:03

Mil is a difficult woman to say the least and dh and bil are struggling to get to grips with all her problems.

She has an ilness that will get worse and is very probably depressed. Our concern is that she seems to be refusing all sorts of treatment/medication offered then keeps telling us how ill she feels. She is 74 and very frail.

I have suggested that dh goes with his mother next time she see's her consultant or speak privately to her GP. (I have offered to go with her numerous times too)

My question is, would mil's GP and/or consultant be able to discuss her without her knowledge? Sorry this is a bit long for such a short question!

OP posts:
MaryAnnSingleton · 17/12/2012 18:56

I would thinbk not- patient confidentiality and what not- but if you or dh were with her then perhaps more information could be gathered..

gingeroots · 17/12/2012 21:56

Would mil sign a note ( or write one herself ) giving permission for discussion re her health with doctors ?
Could she be persuaded ?

Sorry ,not a brilliant suggestion .
I can imagine how difficult your situation must be ,you have my sympathies ?

EmbroideredCloths · 17/12/2012 22:04

They could listen to your concerns. They would not be able to discuss your MILs condition or treatment without her express consent.

Original poster
Fedupnagging · 17/12/2012 22:19

Thanks for your replies.

It is difficult to know what to do as mil is so difficult. I am not sure she even wants us to get involved but she does need help to a certain extent and of course, we could do with knowing what treatment she should be having etc.

Dh is going to visit later in the week (she lives about 2 hrs away). He said if she makes a GP appointment he will give her a lift - and then hopefully shoehorn himself into the room with her!

OP posts:
gingeroots · 18/12/2012 09:47

My mother is also very difficult ,not least in her presentation of facts and I found it necessary to get involved in her medical care .

So I would definitely advise you/DH to be assertive and use whatever tactics neccessary to go in with her .

( it is always useful to have two people at medical appointments /he's concerned for her and wants to ensure she gets good treatment etc )

Good luck .

springybok · 18/12/2012 19:11

your dh can certainly speak to her doctor or consultant and ask that his comments be placed on her file. the doctor wont be able to speak to him but that is not as important as getting the concerns clearly noted on file

Kundry · 18/12/2012 23:36

A GP could listen to your concerns but not discuss your MIL with you without her consent.

You all obviously care about her a lot and think she is making the wrong decisions - but her point of view may be very different to yours, or the GPs. Even if the worst happens, please bear in mind that she has made her own choices even though they weren't choices you would have made.

sashh · 19/12/2012 06:43

My question is, would mil's GP and/or consultant be able to discuss her without her knowledge?*

Not without her consent.

But there is nothing to stop you writing a letter explaining your concerns.

Original poster
Fedupnagging · 19/12/2012 07:33

Thanks again for taking the time to comment.

Mil has taken a slight turn for the worse over the last couple of days but has at least promised to take the medication prescribed. (We have been here before though).

I have told dh to get the dates of her next GP and Consultant visits when he goes on Friday and for him and bil to ensure one or other goes with her.

But yes, you are right Kundry, ultimately the choices she makes are hers and not ours and we cannot force her to do anything against her will. Did I mention mil is a difficult woman and always has been Xmas Grin

OP posts:
gingeroots · 19/12/2012 11:44

Would a blister pack help with the medication side of things ?

When my mum was more robust in health she was always thinking "oh I don't think I need this diuertic/bloodpressure etc pill today "
but the blister packs make it obvious if something has been missed .
Although actually ,if your mil is similar to my mum,she'd still find a way round it .
Still worth a thought .
They're like this www.medicineblisterpacks.co.uk/free_sample.php
Different chemists do different types - Lloyds and day Lewis best IMO .

Original poster
Fedupnagging · 20/12/2012 08:17

Doubt that would help Ginger-mil doesn't want to take the medication full stop. She tends to take the tablets for a couple of days but then says they don't agree with her. She'll change her brand of tea and says she feels so much better!

Hopefully we can persuade her to keep going with the meds she was given on Tuesday. Then it's a case of trying to cajole her to accept the rest of the treatments she has been offered.

OP posts:
gingeroots · 20/12/2012 08:52

Oh I do sympathise .
Last week the cheese straws kept my mum awake all night .
In no way related to not taking the ranatadine .

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread