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General health

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Original poster

What on earth is wrong with me?

41 replies

ShedHead · 03/04/2006 18:31

Over the past hour, i've suddenly come over as what I can only describe as queer.

I feel very very shakey, sick, can't get comfy because I feel too nervous & I've got this weird uncomfortable feeling in my shoulder which is driving me up the wall, feel like I could cry, but can't if you know what I mean.

I feel panicky and my heart is beating ten to the dozen, I've also come over very very hot.

I'm on my own with the kids as DH is in the pub so have no idea when he is going to be home, kids are due in bed in half hour and they are no problem going to bed, I can't go have a bath or early night (I only had 4 hours sleep last night cos of my shoulder) because he hasn't got any keys.

What the hell is wrong with me???????

OP posts:

Original poster

ShedHead · 04/04/2006 08:48

Yes I've tried to tackle him but he sees nothing wrong with it, hes been doing it all his life.

Another thing that has made me sick this morning and feel crap is that my eldest (7) stood outside the door and heard my conversation with the best mate who found his coat.

OP posts:

harpsichordcarrier · 04/04/2006 08:50

shedead I had a long term relationship with someone with this type of behaviour once. there is something wrong with it, because it is giving you panic attacks. I think you need to try and find a time to explain to him how upsetting you find it, and how this is not accpetable behaviour with children in the house HC xx

Original poster

ShedHead · 04/04/2006 08:51

Thanks hc, i have sat time and time again and tried to talk to him, but he has never once apologised and is not remotely embarassed.

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harpsichordcarrier · 04/04/2006 08:53

is there someone you could talk to? like his father or a brother? someone who he might listen to?
I am just remembering how horrible it was waiting for him to come home

Original poster

ShedHead · 04/04/2006 08:55

that is one thing about dh, he listens to no-one, he has no brothers and his father is dead, his mother is too ill to be dealing with all this, I have to go out this morning and really really don't feel like it. But then again don't want to stay at home where he could be ringing me all day.

OP posts:

Original poster

ShedHead · 04/04/2006 08:59

I am no way justifying what he has done, i have had enough, i have asked his sister to tell him that i am not going to her house today as I know he will come over (he works over the road) so she has said that she won't.

OP posts:

WharfRat · 04/04/2006 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

harpsichordcarrier · 04/04/2006 09:05

Shedhead his behaviour is unjustifiable and disrespectful
yu need to take some time to calm down and in your own time tackle him about it
he needs to understand that you will not put up with it

Original poster

ShedHead · 04/04/2006 09:06

I have been thinking whether I want to stay with him, when he is not going out he is great, he is due to go out on another big night out on the 19th with work.

I also worry for the kids and don't let them see this behavious, luckily i managed to get into the kitchen this morning before they did to put the stuff in bin bags.

OP posts:

blueteddy · 04/04/2006 09:26

It sounds very much like you may have suffered a panic attack & if you expect your DH to come home in this state after a night out, I suspect this was the reason you had the attack.
It is disgusting behaviour & I don't blame you for being so angry with him.
I was also in a long term relationship with a man who couldn't control his drinking & would end up in horrible states every time he had been out drinking. I gave him a couple of chances to try & cut down his drinking, but he couldn't & I ended up finishing the relationship because of this.
Does he get like this frequently?
So sorry you are going through this, it's horrible.

blueteddy · 04/04/2006 09:33

Agree with HC, that you need to sit him down & have a big talk with him to let him know how serious this is.

Earthymama · 04/04/2006 09:33

Shedhead, you are the only person who can make these decisions, but your symptons are your body's way of saying 'I can't take this any longer'.
You must talk to him, maybe with help of Relate, and for your health you must plan how to cope with the binges if you stay. Can you tell him you'll go away with children and he must have cleaned up by the time you return?
This is so hard for you and the children, I'm so sorry you are in this situation.Do check out your health and talk to the children, so they understand this is not their fault. I wish I could help,

Piffle · 04/04/2006 12:25

Your body is dealing with it the way your mind cannot SH.
His behavious is unacceptable, most men maybe have a night like that once in their lives and that becomes the line they never want to cross again.
Getting drunk every now and then is ok, but not to come home and behave like that.
It is wonder your body is showing signs of serious stress.
I'd think about asking him to stay somewhere else when he's on the drink - his mates will not clear up his piss and sick, nor will their wives.
Worth a try?
I really hope you're ok, a terrible stress it must be on you xxxxxxxxxxxx

Original poster

ShedHead · 04/04/2006 13:08

Thanks for your replies, I'm still very sick and I'm ignoring all his calls, I called him once to let him know how the little one went on and as soon as I'd told him we were being referred and that she was ok I hung up.

I've come home to alot of message, but not one apology.

In the past when I know he is going out and could get into this state I have told him and even booked him a room at a travel lodge and he has always come home, one night he banged on his sisters door and woke her up in the early hours to make him bring her home.

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Original poster

ShedHead · 04/04/2006 16:04

He's still ringing me, wish he would piss off,

I was doing ok on my diet until all this and I've just stuff my face with kids cereal and whole milk :(

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suenorth · 04/04/2006 16:21

SH, my dad was like this when I was young. No-one explained anything to me and I didn't understand how sometimes he was normal dad and sometimes he was this stranger. I was well into adulthood before I felt I had any kind of normal dad/daughter relationship with him and I know it has had a really big impact on how I treat alcohol and react to men who drink. Reading your description of him coming home has brought back how scary it all was at the time. My dad had a tough time getting out of that behaviour and I can hear the anxiety in my mum's voice whenever she fears he's going back there. Sorry for going on so, I really feel for you all and hope so much for the sake of your family (and your health) that things change. Good luck.

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