Hello again, thanks for replying, it's been a bit helpful but I can't and wouldn't give you a diagnosis without seeing you or a medical history. What I ca do is tell you what I think and what sort of things you can do.
As I've said before, I don't think it's likely that there's anything sinister going on behind the scenes from the symptoms you've described. I do think talking to a doctor about your concerns might help reassure you. If that seems daunting, or you're the sort of person who goes with all the questions in your head but clams up when you're in the room, write down your concerns and get the doctor to read them instead. They're very valid and you need to know and be reassured that the doctor has taken your headaches seriously and considered all options.
Working on the assumption that there's nothing that can be identified as an underlying cause there are a few things that can happen next. Ideally you want a definitive diagnosis, it probably won't change much in the short term but knowing what something is can make you feel better emotionally which will help you cope with the pain. You could also discuss alternative medications with your doctor and tell him you are concerned about overuse headaches.
If you think your neck and shoulder might be involved your pain, it's unlikley but could be an outside possibility, go and see an osteopath. It wouldn't hurt and you'd probably get a nice massage out of it at the very least. They's also be able to check the bones and muscles around tyour neck to make sure there isn't anything going on to make things worse. If they are tension headaches you might also get a bit of relief for a while.
Once you have a diagnosis, or have been reassured by the doctor that nothing else is going on, there are some things you can do to help yourself day to day. Unfortunately, there will come a point where you have to accept that this is something that has happened and it's unlikely that it will just go away. Unless it's migraine there's no magic cure for chronic headaches and the way forward is 'management' rather than 'treatment'. You'll need to accept that there are some lifestyle changes to adjust to and you'll need the support of your partner with somethings (it drives my husband nuts sometimes how strict I am with my routine but if I don't get enough sleep, eat at regular times etc I'm no good to anyone!)
Alternative therapies have been trivialised to an extent by the media but they can be incredibly helpful for headache sufferers. Acupunture, reflexology, neck/shoulder massage would probably help you ans so would taking a course in relaxation techniques. Once you've learned how to relax properly taking 20-30 minutes a day to yourself just to have some quiet chilled time can have a really positive effect. I'm sure there are loads of things you'll read about on the internet but pick and choose what you try and make sure there's research to back up it's effectiveness so you don't waste time and money.
Regular excercise can't be emphasised enough. Vigourous excercise is ok when you're feeling good but when you have a headache and for now while they're pretty constant (obiviously not if you're bed-ridden though), yoga, tai chi and pilates will be good for you and they'll help your neck ad shoulder too.
Lifestyle changes are the most difficult to make and it took me years to take them seriously. You'll hear/read lots of things about diet, routine, alcohol etc. and the truth is no one thing helps everyone. They way I do it now is making sure I eat regularly as rises and falls in blood sugar affect me, I sleep for the same amount of time at the same time every night - this was really hard when I got married but my husband understands now though it can limit your social life - a night off now and then is ometimes worth it but I always get a headache. The hardest thing has been learning that things that make me excited and happy can be just as bad as things that make me angry or stressesd. This doesn't mean I never do things that make me feel good but it's like you have to keep a lid on things which can be hard. You could try keeping a diary for 3-4 weeks to see if you can spot any definite patterns with your day to day activities, events, food etc.
Once you've found your triggers, try to avoid them but not to the detriment of your happiness. For example, I love boiled eggs and soldiers (silly example I know but true!) - they make me feel ill but just sometimes, it's worth it - I make a trade. More important things too like going to the cinema where the flickering gives me a migraine, or even a club every now and again, just occaisionally it's worth it to have a good time. I hope I'mm not making it all sound horrendous. On the whole I have a happy, headache free life that I really enjoy and looking back I can't believe there were times I felt so crap. It is worth learning to manage, however hard it is.
Here's a few websites you can have a look at to get you going - the key is understanding, once you understand them, you'll learn to control them, not the other way around.
www.migraine.org.uk/ (Have a look at migraines without aura, you can have both types and it might worth asking doctor if you can try migraine treatment to see if it works, there are side effects though so think carefully before starting a course of medication)
www.bash.org.uk/ (the publications section is intended for health professionals but might be helpful for you)
www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/343/ (links to lots of other sites)
I really hope this can help you out, I know I don't have all the answers but maybe some things I've said can be of use. Let me know what you think, and it would be good to know if it does help.