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Original poster

Phonecall that brought really bad news for my sister

43 replies

jenk1 · 01/04/2006 19:25

I took a phonecall yesterday from my sisters consultant at the hospital, inbetween xmas and new year she had a miscarriage and they had her in for tests as she was still having pains.

Consultant sounded really panicky and said it was urgent that my sister ring her today so i went to where she works and told her.

She came to my house an hour later in floods of tears, the consultant told her that they cannot find her left ovary and that there is a growth and that the blood tests she has got back are making her really worried, my sister asked her "are you telling me i have cancer"? the Consultant said "yes im certain that it is, ive booked an emergency appointment for you to see a specialist at St Marys hospital in Manchester first thing on Monday morning. Sad

I dont know *anything about ovarian cancer or what to say to her, my mum is distraught, im shocked, my other sister feels numb, i dont know how to help her, she doesnt want anyone to go with her to the appointment on Monday, says she wants to go on her own. Sad

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 01/04/2006 19:27

Oh god, I'm so sorry. How scary for you all.

spacecadet · 01/04/2006 19:28

oh god jenk, i dont know what to say, your poor sister.
if it is ovarian cancer though, they may well have caught it early.

CarolinaMooncup · 01/04/2006 19:29

I don't know anything about it either, just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about your sister's news Sad.

I'm sure someone who's had experience of this will be along soon.

Tinker · 01/04/2006 19:31

How horrible for you all.

JonesTheSteam · 01/04/2006 19:31

Can't help with info, I'm afraid - just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear this!!

brimfull · 01/04/2006 19:31

god ,how awful for her ,and you and your family aswell.

She surely must have someone with her on Monday.

I'm really sorry you're all going throught this.

Hausfrau · 01/04/2006 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flibbertygibbet · 01/04/2006 19:33

Oh what dreadful news. I don't know about ovarian cancer, but please please try and persuade your sister to take someone with her. In these sorts of meetings most people can only take in abuot 20% of the information offered, especially if it relates directly to them. So having another person can really help when you're trying to remember afterwards what was said, and trying to make sense of it.

If she thinks it would be too hard for her to have a family member, who is also in some ways involved/affected, is there a more neutral party (family friend?) she could take along? You could phone the hospital and ask whether they have someone who could go with her, a Macmillan nurse, or a socialworker, or a chaplain if you're religious.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 01/04/2006 19:34

She needs some with her, I had a similar meeting 12 years ago, in pretty rushed circumstances, and when I came out I could remember nothing.

DH took it all in and could then recall it to me in dribs and drabs.

Sorry to hear this.

Sad
jofeb04 · 01/04/2006 19:36

Oh no hun, my thoughts are with your sister and all your family

Original poster
jenk1 · 01/04/2006 19:37

Ill be seeing her tomorrow and im going to suggest that she takes someone, i cant go as DS home tutor comes from 9.30 to 11.30 and im not allowed to leave the house when she,s here, my other sister might go with her though, my mum has offered to take the day off but she wont let her.

OP posts:
sallystrawberry · 01/04/2006 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

7up · 01/04/2006 20:13

how terrible for you all, i am so sorrySad hopefully tomorrow when the news has sunk in your sis might have a change of heart and want someone to go with her or she might just feel she'll cope better on her own without fuss.

my sis had to go hospital to have a breast lump removed when she was only 18 and she travelled to London on her own, even tho my mum was worried sick. she still says now that she coped better without having to worry about someone elses feelings for her. hope that makes sense

anniebear · 01/04/2006 20:17

really sorry to hear that

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Original poster
jenk1 · 01/04/2006 20:31

Yes i totally understand that, my sister has told me that she doesnt want any fuss and just wants to go and get on with it.

OP posts:
pupuce · 01/04/2006 20:37

Dear Jenk - how terribly sad. Ovarian cancer is a nasty cancer as it is often diagnosed quite late.... she will need all the support and the fact they want to see her on Monday means it is serious.
Someone needs to go with her.

Hugs to you and your family.....

This is from AIRC website ; www.aicr.org.uk/ovariancancer.stm?source=Adwords

Q. How is ovarian cancer treated?

A. The treatment used will depend on how advanced the cancer is and how old the patient is. For younger patients with early cancer, limited surgery is used to preserve their fertility. For older patients with more advanced cancers, the ovaries and the womb are usually removed. If the cancer has spread, further tissue may need to be removed to get out as much of the cancer as possible. Chemotherapy is normally used after the surgery to kill any remaining cancer cells. Sometimes it is also used before the surgery to shrink the tumour and make it easier to remove completely.

Q. How effective are the treatments?

A. Overall, only about two out of every five women with ovarian cancer can be cured. Like all other cancers, the stage at which ovarian cancer is diagnosed determines how easily it is to cure. If diagnosed and treated while the cancer is still confined to the ovaries, nearly 75% of women can be cured. However, once it has spread into the pelvic cavity, the cure rate drops to one third. If it has spread further, only one quarter to on sixth of patients can be cured. For these figures 'cured' is defined as surviving for five years after the first diagnosis.

Original poster
jenk1 · 01/04/2006 20:58

OMG Sad

OP posts:
gengis · 01/04/2006 21:07

Thinking of you and your family....I'm sure your sister will be one of the 75% who can be cured. Lots of love...

Original poster
jenk1 · 02/04/2006 15:52

Just spoke to her, she is adamant that she wants to go on her own tomorrow, she says she prefers it that way.

OP posts:
teacups · 02/04/2006 19:01

Very sorry to read this jenk1.... sending best wishes and positive thoughts to you all. Keep us posted.

XXXXX

kid · 02/04/2006 19:04

I think someone else should be going with her but of course you can't force her. By going on her own, she may miss some information they tell her.
Obviously she is in shock, hopefully they will give her a phone number of someone she can call if she has any questions. I hope the appointment goes well for her.

PutAPeachyInYourSimnelCake · 02/04/2006 19:17

Oh jenk love, I'm sorry Sad

I used to work for Macmillan Cancer relief back along, and they ahev a fabby phone ine that does inormation and can signpost you towards all sorts of resources. The telephone number is
\link{http://www.macmillan.org.uk/\ here}

We used to also get rave reviews about cancer bacup and the Bristol Cancer Help Centre, \link{http://www.cancerbacup.org.uk/Home\here} and \link{http://www.bristolcancerhelp.org/\here}

The Bristol palce is a complimentary place that runs alongside orthodox care- diets and relaxation, that sort of thing.

And if there's anyhting ic an do for you, just e-mail me OK?

Sending love X

Chapsmum · 02/04/2006 19:22

jen1.
Ovarian cancer is calle dthe silent cancer as it usually has no symptoms. I really hope they have caught it early.
I nursed a dear friend of mine till she died from ovarian cancer age 23.
Your sister should have someone with her, and she is going to need a lot of support.
if you need a chat my e-mail is
dollyburd12 at homail dot com
(((hug ))) to you both

georginarf · 02/04/2006 21:01

jenk1, am so sorry to hear this

agree with HF & others, someone really should go with her and wait outside, she shouldn't be completely on her own whatever she says. I do understand her wanting to just get on with it though, and wanting to avoid fuss.

I had an ovarian tumour at 27, it wasn't properly malignant and prob. wouldn't have spread, but it was classed as a cancer and I lost the ovary. It was absolutely terrifying. I wish her all the luck there is for tomorrow and hope that if it is a cancer, they have caught it early.

Perhaps someone could be on standby for her that she can call if she really is refusing to take someone with her? Someone that can go and get her if neccesary. It is very, very difficult to take in the info, especially when you're in shock.

saadia · 02/04/2006 21:51

What a terrible terrible shock, I'm so sorry. Agree with everyone who said she shouldn't go alone I hope you can convince her to let someone go with her.