Help friend smoking dope in front of 3 month old baby.

[bouncy]

need some advice. I recently went to see my friend on the spur of the moment, usually I phone. Went into the room as my friend and her dh were both smoking dope and the baby was in the pram. No windows were open because it was so cold. Nor my friend or her hubby seemed bothered about what they were doing. I said to her about the baby and she said "He will be alright", I had to leave as it was giving me a headache. I am very anti-drugs and just wanted to know if I was getting myself in a pickle over nothing.

God no! thats awful - I don't know if there are any health issues, (though I think there is an increased risk of miscarriage if smoked in pregnancy???) but if it were good for the baby we'd all have it on prescription!!! Suggest you look it up on the internet and then try tactfully to tell your friend, perhaps they don't realise the potential risk
Besides, isn't it usually mixed in with normal cigarettes???

Oh my...this is so selfishly irresponsible they can have him/her brain damaged!!! Do you have any other friend that smokes dope -they won't take you seriously if you don't-, maybe she can talk them into not doing it in front of the baby. The problem with dope is that most users believe is inocuos (sp?) which is not...

Message withdrawn

I would report them, yes you will lose a friend, but I don't know that you would keep in touch with them anyway after seeing them smoking dope in front of their baby. How can they take proper care of a baby whilst stoned? Sad to say, but even when presented with the facts they will probably still continue, just not when you are around. What a horrible start for a baby.

Its bad enough seeing my next door neighbours 10 year old dd watching tv in a room filled with joint smoke. Poor little baby. I doubt they will stop regardless of what happens, some people are just so dumb.

bouncy, have you any idea how much dope your friends smoke? It is obviously wrong to smoke anything in the same room as a young baby, so I don't think it would be OTT to say to them you were shocked they had not even opened a window. One reason they didn't go into another room if were both sharing a joint could be that they did not want to leave the baby alone.

Anyway apart from the smoking issue, I don't know what to say about the dope issue. A bit more hazy (no pun intended!) IMO. You know your friends better than me. If they smoke habitually and lots, if it impairs their judgement, if it renders them incapable of reacting quickly, if they are in denial about its effects that's one thing. If you think this joint was a very rare treat and your friends don't drink or do anything to excess and are together people and parents, then that's another. If it's the latter, if I were you, I would file the matter in your memory and not lose contact with your friends. If you really don't know how much your friends smoke dope around the baby, then as a friend of theirs, IMO the best thing you could do is keep a watchful eye on things.

I agree with others that it would be a good idea to look on the internet for more facts about the effects of smoking dope around babies, and smoking generally.

There's been a recent ad campaign about children inhaling smoke if their parents smoke. Could you being this up the next time your see your friend to get her talking?

As all passive smoking is harmful they should have a lot more sense. I don't like to moralise about drugs too much but I think they should just want to be a lot more careful where their child is concerned.

It would be very easy for them to go outside - or at least blow the smoke out of an open window or door.

There is also the issue of how 'out of it' they are getting whilst caring for a young baby. I know cannabis doesn't render you completely incapable but it seems to me that they should now be taking more responsibility for their actions.

What may have been 'acceptable' before they had a child now just isnt.

I do think that reporting them may be a bit strong though. If they are your friends - and you want to keep them as friends - I do suggest just talking it through with them. Do they smoke ordinary cigarettes in the house too? If so then maybe approach it from that angle - just mention you've seen something about the dangers of passive smoking - esp to children? That way it doesnt seem like you are 'having a go' at them in particular, but it may make them think?

OK - confession time - I smoke dope.

So as a fellow smoker I will join in the discussion and totally condemn your friends for what they are doing.

Their capabilities will vary depending on a) the strength of the dope - it varies considerably. b) their personal dependency levels:you can tolerate higher levels before noticing any dramatic effects after awhile (as with alcohol). But either way, it is a big risk smoking whilst having responsibility for such a young child.

And the passive smoking issue is a biggie - this is far more harmful to the child than simply the fact that it is dope smoke IYSWIM

DH and I never smoke in front of the kids and never to a point of incapabilty - the same as we would never drink to excess whilst in charge of them. It is confined to a few joints in an evening when the kids are in bed and occasionaly 1 of us will get quite stoned - we take it in turns

ok, will slink quietly out of the room whilst you all hurl abuse at my retreating back.....

no abuse from this direction snugs. thought you were pretty brave to come on and say that. I'm not without knowledge in this direction too (though haven't for a while now).

Agree totally with what you say re alcohol. I know its winter but I'm sure it would be easy enough to open a window and blow towards it.

ok - so I didnt really leave

No need to open a window, if they are that desperate for a drag they should go outside - one at time so someone is with the baby. Why should the baby get cold just to feed their habit? Or surely they have another room that they could go into.

I may be a smoker but I am a mum first. Your friends need to learn that their whole attitude to life has to change now - and quickly.

sorry, meant bouncy's friends!

thats ok - some of my friends could use that advice too!!