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Work colleague/friend has been given 3 months to live

19 replies

viktoria · 30/09/2012 21:52

Found out today that a work colleague/friend has been given 3 months to live. We both work freelance and were meant to work on a project for the next 2 months. I've known him for about 15 years and while we never majorly stayed in touch when we didn't work, whenever our paths crossed, it always felt like catching up with a long lost friend.
3 weeks ago I started on current project and we spent a lovely week in the same office. He had stomach cancer last year and somehow foolishly I just thought - he is so lucky to have survived this - and was so pleased he was back at work.
We talked about his cancer and his worries - he has a wife and 2 very young children. I had a tiny cancer removed last year (nothing in the league of stomach cancer) and we both talked about how when we first heard the word "cancer" - both our thoughts were "I simply cannot die because my children need me".
Last week he found out that the cancer has spread to his liver and he has 3 months to live.
I'm not quite sure why I'm posting here, because I don't really want any advice. I'm just so upset for him because it is so unfair. I suppose I'm posting here because I don't want to break down in tears tomorrow at work, so maybe sitting here and typing about it and crying in the privacy of my home will make it more bearable hearing/talking about it in a work context over the next weeks.
It's just so bloody unfair.

OP posts:
bunjies · 30/09/2012 22:25

God that is awful and yes, it is unfair. I don't have any words of comfort other than just be there for him & his family if you know them.

viktoria · 02/10/2012 22:27

Thank you bunjies, appreciate your comment.
Have had the loveliest message from him today.
I'm trying to find the positive side of this horrible situation. The only thing I've come up with so far is that at least he's been given time to say his good byes, to sort out things, to plan for the future of his family as best as he can.

OP posts:
viktoria · 23/11/2012 23:00

He died yesterday. Very sad.

OP posts:
LilyThePinkaPinkaPink · 23/11/2012 23:02

I'm so sorry, that's awful :(

tribpot · 23/11/2012 23:03

I'm very sorry to hear this, viktoria. I hope he wasn't in too much pain. How dreadfully cruel.

TaggieCampbellBlackFriday · 23/11/2012 23:03
Sad

So sorry.

QOD · 23/11/2012 23:05

Oh how awful

paddyclamp · 23/11/2012 23:05

Unbelievably sad :(

ThatVikRinA22 · 23/11/2012 23:06

how awful. im very sorry about your friend.

mrscumberbatch · 23/11/2012 23:07

Sorry to hear viktoria. Hope he had some quality time with his family.

PurpleHeadedMountain · 24/11/2012 00:34

That is tragic. I am very sorry.

thefirstmrsrochester · 24/11/2012 07:44

How terribly sad, so sorry for the loss of your friend.

GraceOfWrath · 24/11/2012 07:53

I am very sorry to hear about your friend Viktoria. Cancer is an absolute bastard and you are right it is so thoroughly unfair that your friend's family should be left without a husband/Dad. Hopefully he will have had a little time to make some wonderful memories and leave memory boxes etc for his children to treasure.
Take care (((hugs)))

cogitosum · 24/11/2012 07:54

That's so sad I'm really sorry about your friend

mumblechum1 · 24/11/2012 07:56

I'm really sorry Viktoria. Only six weeks since you posted. How awful for you and all of his family and friends Sad

viktoria · 24/11/2012 08:16

Thanks everybody - every one of your posts is like a comforting hug!

He was a grreat guy and when he found out that he was going to die, he sent me this following mail:
"when people start saying great big words like 'terminal', I think I automatically get the right to start embarrassing people with professions of love.
You have so much love, compassion, generosity of spirit and positive energy in you that it is addictive hanging out with you. I have nothing but love for you".

and this is what another friend wrote about him:
"Without doubt the greatest lover of life I've ever met, and an inspiration to us all.
If ever there were a clearer message to seize the day and live life... "

So in tribute to my friend I will make sure I have a great day today and tomorrow and the days after too - or at least make sure I see all the beauty and wonderful things, and not dwell on the rubbish that comes along too.

OP posts:
Dillydollydaydream · 24/11/2012 08:20

Sorry to hear your friend has passed away :(

GraceOfWrath · 24/11/2012 17:29

Lovely post Viktoria - it sounds like he was a great bloke and your life has been made richer by knowing him Smile

dwagdays · 24/11/2012 19:58

Such sad news, your tribute is inspirational and such a fitting way to celebrate a life well lived.

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