Have posted on here before about issues with alcohol and the general consensus was that Yes I had some issues and should go see the GP. Well with all good intentions life got in the way and I didn't and thought I'm ok, I'll manage.
Now hopefully not too long but want to go over what happened at the weekend. Went to all day wedding and had resolved not to drink wine as that is my demon drink and drink anything other then wine. Well as soon as I got to the wedding I had wine instantly albeit as a spritzer but as soon as I sat at the table I had some of the wine there. Well one drink turned into several and ime people always seem to like to ply me with alcohol as I think for the first few drinks I seem like quite good fun! Then I was gone, have blacked out much of the night but little bits come back and I've been told I was up dancing on my own cringe cringe I was at the frony of the hotel doing cartwheels cringe barely comes close also not sure if this was on my own, with other adults please let there of been other adults or children think part of me dies when I think of that I have then been told I fell going down to the car that my pregnant host drove me home in and the worst worst bit for me was that in my drunken haze I tried to open door of car whilst it was doing 70 miles on motorway with heavily non-drunk female driving!! I do not know what on earth was going on in my drunken mind but this to me just shows me that I am a risk to myself and others when drunk. I am so ashamed when I think of how drunk I was. I don't want my life to carry on like this.
I'm going to go to the doctors today and take the first steps in getting some proper help. Guess I just want some support, I know I was totally in the wrong and have since sent an apology card to the couple.
If you've got down to here thank you so much for taking the time to read
Any support appreciated