Warning: TMI - poo samples

[UtterlyRevoltingQuestion]

Forgive the TMI question and the absolutely necessary name-change but how exactly does one give a poo sample?

I've recently been diagnosed with gall stones and have some ongoing problems with diarrhoa (sp?) and stomach cramps. Doc has ordered me to give a poo sample in a tiny pot thing (like the urine ones when pregnant) but has stipulated that it must be "runny" otherwise it won't be tested

So practical and precise tips please for (a) position on the toilet (b) procedure for getting it in the pot (boak) and (c) getting it to the surgery discreetly (double boak)

I await the wisdom of MN whilst I die a little inside.....

OK.
I had to do one of these years ago.
This is what I think you do....

Poo in a potty.
Using a plastic spoon that you will throw away, sccop a sample into the pot.
Screw the lid on tight.
Rinse the outside of pot under tap to make it clean.
Tip poo into loo.
Clean potty as per normal.
(May want to wear throwaway gloves throughout).

HTH

(Also maybe have afterwards)

Sccop = scoop, obviously!

Or, you could sit right forward on the loo. You know, like you tell everyone else NOT to do. The porcelain will do the capturing for you. You then just need to scoop.

As above but using an old take away container which you can just chuck. Or if you can wipe before you are quite finished you can scrape it off the loo roll.

Thanks guys - I feel a little bit sick thinking about it ....

Think I might drink that wine before as well as after!

Put a disposable ice cream tub in the toilet. Or loosely stretch some cling film over.

Not to press the point but what about the "runny" bit? How runny does it have to be in order to be acceptable. I'm going a lot at the moment, sometimes up to ten times a day but am not experienced enough to predict consistency ...

Did they not give you a proper sample pot?

I had to do one for ds and it was like a urine sample pot, the lid had a little scoop attached so you would just scoop ans screw!

Ok - so can use potty/spoon/takeaway or ice cream container - and scoop from there. do I have to sterilise them first (am thinking just with boiling water) to make sure they're clean?

That sounds good Bonkey but unfortunately not - it's just a normal size urine sample pot. My face when they gave it to me was a picture! I was too embarrassed to question at the time because the queue was ultra long - can you imagine asking the doctor's receptionist for tips?! I knew MN would come up trumps though (forgive the pun!)...

OK, Footle, tell the OP how best to do it then.

Thanks Footle I see where you're coming from I'm just under 40 though and a little squeamish about my bodily functions, rightly or wrongly - I'm hoping that i will lose that embarrassment pretty soon because apparently (depending on outcome of poo and blood tests) I'm going to be referred to hospital for further investigation, which may involve sticking things up my bum

MrsBranestawm - thanks for the advice, you're a diamond

URQ, if you're using ice cream tub etc, have it clean (so washed up), but deffo no need for sterile. I'd just have it as clean as a plate would be and you will be fine.

Shame you dod not get the scoopy pot, as they're just more convenient. Just use something like the 'handle' end of a disposable plastic fork.

Thanks Hazel

You'll be fine, honest. Make sur you don't have an audience for your scooping, then double bag.

ANd prepare yourself for the handover to reception. I SWEAR they're trained to contrive to somehow make you shout out very loudly FAECAL SAMPLE. If this does indeed happen, your neighbour WILL be in the waiting room.

Can you tell these are posts of empathy? Can you?!!!!
Best of British and all that.

Oh good lord - an audience for scooping - I'm crying and laughing at the same time! Thank God DH has just put a lock on the bathroom otherwise it is entirely possible that my 3 year old and 1 year old may try to cop a look....

at possible reception scenario though - I always seem to bump into some casual acquaintance at the docs - may need a cunning disguise...

thank you all for making this seem more manageable - in all seriousness, I was considering just not doing it but all the sympathy and pointers on this thread have gone a long way

and for all