Second-degree tear, stitches - when will everything go back to 'normal'?

[needsadviceplease]

DS (DC1) is a bit over 4mo. I tore giving birth as he was in a bit of a hurry! Midwives debated for a while as to whether I needed stitches (the tear was all internal and at first they hadn't realised I had torn at all), but eventually did quite a few.
Beyond the obvious discomfort I expected, I didn't experience any problems with the healing. At 6w pp, the doctor went to examine me but even her slight pressure on my vulva was uncomfortable so she didn't continue - said this was perfectly normal and there were no signs of anything to worry about.

I've also had an anterior anal fissure (ie perineal side) either since 4w pp or since the birth but I only noticed at 4w pp. Not sure whether related directly to the tear, or to the stitches, or as a result of general weakness and scarring in the area. I've seen the doctor repeatedly and it seems to at least temporarily be on the mend, but I'm including it here because it may be relevant.

I feel that my vagina/surrounding area is not quite as it ought to be, so long after delivery. I don't have any pain or even discomfort, but it feels a bit odd and pressure-y when I wee, and when I'm in the bath I can feel the water swish slightly in and out in a not-very-pleasant way. The idea of sex (thankfully only an idea atm, as am single) slightly frightens me.

Is this all 'normal', or not really? Is this just my new post-birth, post-stitches vagina, or is something not quite right? Really interested in hearing others' post-tear experiences. Am bf, if that's relevant, and my periods haven't come back yet.

TIA

Hi there

I also had quick deliveries and stitches etc. I found that it takes quite a while to feel ok and can be a bit tender for months - like 6 months or more, lots of pelvic floor exercises should help....try calendula or hypercium in the bath. Sounds normal to me though - it just feels a bit different at first - give yourself time to heal!

Are you bf? That slows periods coming back, I am bf my dd and she is 10 months and no periods back yet. Make the most of it!

Hope that helps!

Thank you - that is really reassuring. I am just worrying myself that maybe Things Are Not Quite Right and something else must be wrong - I had total confidence in my health until I gave birth, I feel like it aged me at least 20yrs overnight! I had a lovely birth in almost every way and I know I'm very lucky in that, but I still feel quite physically traumatised by it.

Been doing plenty of PFEs - midwife was very very forcefully encouraging about them before she discharged me! Will give calendula/hypericum a go, thanks.

I am bf, yeah - I am aware that there is some evidence to suggest that suppressed estrogen = slower healing, but I'm determined to keep at it - am loving not bleeding too, esp as I can't yet bear the thought of inserting or removing mooncup! Hope I don't need to any time soon.

Episiotomy and a fairly large tear 8 years ago and I am afraid it has not returned to normal. If I am really honest the pain lasted for two years the not quite normal feeling is still there and despite thousands of exercises it is just not right,

Oh, Lonecat. Have you mentioned it to any HCP? Are you just living with it, and if so have you been able to come to terms with it? Sorry if those questions are too intrusive, obv you can decline to answer...

Nothing to be done I have no prolapse, it has all healed just not the same nothing for them to fix. Several years of pain after episiotomy is not uncommon. It is just not right.