Surgery and leaving baby for 5 days

[IrishMammie]

Hi girls,

I'm scheduled to have surgical repair for pelvic organ prolapse later this week. I'll be in hospital for 5 days and will need to recuperate for at least 6 weeks, all of which will be extremely difficult, but surmountable with 4 children under 6, the youngest of which is 6 months.

I've been back and forward on whether my being out of action for this time is wise, or even possible. I got my surgery date one month ago and immediately began to wean my baby onto bottles which took time but she's happy now. The last bf I dropped was the middle of the night one (last week) and while she'll take a bottle for me no problem, she screams blue murder when my husband tries to settle her, to the extent that I have to take over (inconsolable crying and kicking). He's tried everything to calm her so I can go in and have this surgery but she only wants me. I really can't leave her to cry like this, on the other hand I'm very keen to have this surgery so I can resume normal activities which have been impossible with this condition (exercise, sex etc).

Anyway, my main difficulty and question is, has anyone ever had to leave a baby for a number of days and has it had a lasting impact on the child or your bond? I want to avoid this at all costs and I will delay my surgery if there is any chance this could happen. I'm not sure who to turn to for impartial advice - everyone has a different opinion, including the professionals... but if someone out there had a personal experience of this I'd be really interested in hearing how you managed.

Thanks for reading.

Hi, my boy is 15 months old. Unfortunately I've had to leave him a few times as have already had 4 admissions to hospital since he was born, which imcluded surgery on 3 of those occasions. I am also waiting for another op which should be next month.
Each time I've found it hard to be away from him, and I do have a little cry.
The bond between me and my son is very close. When he has had be home with my partner when I'm in hospital, my boy did play up on a few occasions and couldn't be settled for a long time.
Also when I did get home, he loved me being him, gave kisses, smiled and happy, but I did notice, if he was upset he went to his dad slightly more. But after a week of being home, this changed and went back to my boy wanting me all the time again. Although lovely as it was for him to want his mummy, I felt so bad, that a proper cuddle was too much for me to give him. I could only give him a gentle quick hug.

That's are lots of daily challenges for me anyway, without having the extra recovery of surgery too as I have multiple health problems, and use a wheelchair.

I just have to deal with it, adjust and manage the best I can. I'm very lucky to have great support from my parents.
I've also had Homestart visit us once a week for a couple of hours, which does help a lot.

Hi Reenypip, thanks for your reply. I'm sorry to hear you have been through so much recently. Sounds like you have a very good attitude despite this. I've decided to defer surgery till the baby is less dependent and possibly sleeping through the night. I just can't bear the thoughts of her being so upset, I'm lucky that it isn't an emergency.

Thanks again for your reply and best of luck for your op next month.

I left my ten month old son for three days due to severe PND to which i was put in respite care, I was still the one he run to when I returned home and still is (me and DH have now split)

Your child needs a healthy mummy, mummy being in hospital for a few days and poorly for a few weeks will have much less of an impact on them than seeing a poorly mummy all the time.

Me and my son (now 2) have an amazingly close bond. It hasn't done anything long lasting.