I've really lost it BIG time. Its dd1's 6th birthday today and I spent yesterday after school making her cup cakes for her party on Saturday. Also made them a fish casserole with salmon in it. When I opened the salmon it smelt strong but being pregnant EVERYTHING smells strong at the moment. The other lady with me smelt it and she thought it was fine so I used it. When dd1 started to throw up at 8.30 last night I came to the conclusion that I'd given her food poisening. DH spent the night with her whilst I slept with dd2 waiting for her to throw up (so haven't really slept a great deal as was wide awake at every snort, snuffle and turning over). Was in floods and floods of tears that I'd hurt them and that because I'd eaten some I'd loose the baby etc etc etc. Given that dd2 was fine all night and so was I and so was dh I rather foolishly suspect that it was to do with the quantity of cake mixture she ate and the degree of excitment she's feeling.
I do know what this is about. We were rather hoping to hear from dh's consultant about his biopsy results last night. I told them bad news could wait until after dd1's birthday but to let us know good news sooner. Really stupid cos there are all number of reasons why he might not have phoned yesterday but of course I've jumped to the wrong one.
So I'm sitting here completely shattered, and absolutely raw with emotion. I should really go to bed but a present for dd1 is being delivered at some point and I don't want to miss it! Feel shit cos I ended up shouting at dd2 this morning and it wasn't her fault.
Sorry - had to let something out.