Au pair appears to have bad herpes outbreak. How worried should I be?

[BoffinMum]

We've got a summer au pair, and she has been poorly for a few days now, getting worse and worse, so she's see the GP twice and been to A and E. It transpires she may well have genital herpes and it's obviously a severe outbreak as the poor lass can barely walk. I know nothing about herpes and I was wondering if anyone could give me advice about whether the kids are likely to catch it - particularly the youngest, as she has to wipe his bottom and so on.

Sorry if that was too long!

Update - she is still limping about, trying to be brave but obviously still very ill. This is the end of week 2 of the initial infection, and looking at the state she is in I think she will probably be like this until the end of the period she was supposed to be working for us. I wonder if it would be kinder to suggest she leaves now and gets looked after by her parents? Don't know what's best ...

myob thank god for the voice of reason. That's exactly what I was trying to say. Thank you.

I can say from experience (I've had it myself since I was 19) that far harder to deal with than the symptoms is the unnecessary stigma around the word herpes. I can completely understand why BlueMoon is annoyed with the use of the word disease as very few people would describe a facial coldsore as that, despite the fact is is exactly the same virus.

And someone writing this who has exactly what I have, this is my experience also. It's very hard to explain to someone who doesn't deal with it personally. Thanks Myob.

I would probably talk to her about going home, it sounds like she is really suffering. poor girl.

You did well helping her, and looking after her.

I think it is completely justified to express shock at the severity of the illness she has suffered, and doesn't reflect a poor attitude to people who have this illness. It is not the same as a cold sore as a cold sore does not tend to keep someone in bed in severe pain for a week or more.

I think that is the difference. Yes it might well be the same illness that causes both but the effects are different and the OP has not said or done anything wrong.

I have no experience of herpes as either, but wanted to pass on my good wishes to you and your AP.

Update - she's going home for a bit tomorrow, and her parents are going to be looking after her. I am running her to the airport etc and generally easing her path. She'll probably return at the beginning of September.

Oh that sounds like a good plan. Poor lass must really be going through it. I hope she is recovered by the time she comes back and can enjoy her stay a bit more.

I hope so, she was just starting to make friends and settle down.

Footle, I think that's rather sad. I reckon we should all do as we would be done by. And making a young girl feel guilty because she is clearly suffering a great deal from an illness is just plain wrong IMO.

I dropped her off at the airport on Monday and I think she was relieved to be having a trip home to see her family doctor and so on, and we had a nice chat while she was waiting for her plane. She refused to take any pay for the time she was off sick (I did manage to get her to take a bit, as she had an extra flight to pay for that she wouldn't have been expecting). Hopefully she'll come back in September all sorted out and rearing to go.

Boffin, you're awfully nice.

Decent, I would think, rather than nice.