Wretched stiches - what can gyny do at this late stage??

[SusannaLH]

Sorry this is so long, but I'm really quite upset!
I wondered if anyone else has had an experience of being referred to a gynaecologist as a result of damn stiches.
I tore quite badly delivering dd (1st baby) 5 months ago now. At my 8 week check my GP instantly said that my vagina is now too tight. At that stage we hadn't even tried sex yet but have since given it a whirl with no success whatsoever.
It HURTS!
I feel quite let down basically - and stupid. I felt that something wasn't quite right in the fortnight after the birth, despite being reassured by midwives that it would settle down, but as I had no prior experience, felt that things might relax naturally. Also picked up a bad infection and had to take horrible antibiotics while breastfeeding which upset me a great deal.
My GP's first reaction was scary - along the lines of "bloody hell" and she is v. angry at the mess that has been made. I've been referred to a gyny (after the trying with no improvement - still waiting for the appointment). What can they actually do at this stage, though? Will my lovely girl be an only child????!!!! Please tell me that this can be sorted out as while currently mostly too tired for sex, I'm sure that at some stage I'll want to take that part of my life off the back burner.
Any responses would be gratefully received.

can't spell either - stitches, I mean!

Poor you , no idea sorry - wanted to sympathise

I think they restitch you although I also think there's a physiotherapy option in some cases too.

Ouch! Physiotherapy gets my vote. IDea of being restitched doesn't appeal very much!

Thanks both for posting.

I had problems with my stitches and had surgery on the scar when my first child was 8m. It was done under a general, but as day-surgery so I was back home the same day. Yes, it was rather unpleasant, but I do not regret getting it done. It made an enormous difference to my life, not just sex ('just'! of course sex is important ) but things like going to the toilet were more comfortable.

Physiotherapy might be possible - basically you'ld be stretching your vagina over a period of weeks or months using 'cones' (dildos!) of increasing size. Alternatively, if you do have surgery, be prepared! It's not like after having a baby - firstly you're not exhausted, nor so stretched. But because you're not so stretched you can feel more, so you need things like a valley cushion ready for when you come home afterwards.

Good luck - it can be resolved!

ps, if I may be so personal, don't bother with 'full' sex. If you haven't managed to enjoy it yet (and you're happy with your attempts) and the dr says it's because of the way you were repaired, then continual trying may just set up a sort of mental block. In the meantime, it might be better just to enjoy yourselves without penetration. Sorry if I've gone too far.

pps - I've had another child since then

Boyandgirl - many thanks
No you haven't gone too far at all, and thanks so much for hopeful comments. I can so see what you mean about mental block - I've actually sensed myself quailing any physical contact even though dh absolutely wonderful and not at all pressurising.
And if I was led down the operation route, 8 months would be less disrupting for dd, as at the moment very much on breast and not v. keen on bottle or cup (but that's another thread!
Thanks again

Susanna I'm sure I remember other people on Mumsnet who have had to be restitched - unfortunately it does happen a bit. Try not to worry about your DD - I know its hard but I'm sure she would cope if it came to it.

Also boyandgirl has pretty much covered everything but just wanted to say that when you do get round to trying penetrative sex make sure you use plenty of lubrication (KY jelly). I definitely found that helped our first few goes. Also maybe have a drink or two (no more) to help relax you.

I think the "plus" point of the restitching is that it's done properly by someone who's taking their time and who is thoroughly qualified in that sort of thing, not by a midwife who may be feeling hassled and under pressure. (No disprespect to midwives!!) It may be uncomfortable for a week or so but after that, think of the relief!

My 1st lot of repair work was done by a consultant under spinal block (it was major) and I had no trouble with it. After DS2 I don't think it was done quite as well although it doesn't cause any problems.

Good luck.

Thanks everyone.
The shifts at the hospital were about to change, if that had anything to do with it. Feel quite let down really, as fellow mum I spoke to had her stitches done in 2 hours, whereas mine did seem a little rushed. At the time I was glad as the epidural was really beginning to wear off and the gas and air had been taken away by that point. Hey ho. Have lovely baby as compensation/reward and next time.....we'll see if I have better experience.

I'm really glad if I can help. In some bizarre way it makes things better for me, retrospectively, if I know that my nasty experience can help someone else. I was so bitterly distressed by the stitching and aftermath. To be honest, it took me a good few months to recover emotionally from the operation as well, but then I did have PND at the time!

The sooner you have your stitches done after giving birth, the better. Both times I had mine done within less than an hour, so I don't think time was an issue. Shift-wise, you may have a point, as I'm sure the Senior Reg who did mine was exhausted and irritable.

When I was pg with no2 I was terribly worried about the stitching, and dear old Mumsnet reassured me tremendously. And it was nowhere near as bad this time!

Fingers crossed for next time then (positive thinking - there WILL be a next time, I hope)