Please stop me googling and panicking!

[becstartingpistolBANG]

I had an ultrasound scan because of long term abdominal pain - I've been going to the doctor asking for a diagnosis of it for four years now. The lovely man who did the scan saw a 'lump' inside my bowel and sent me for an X-ray of my abdomen that same day. So now I'm waiting to hear from the hospital whether I've got another follow up appointment. They wouldn't tell me anything then and there. The ultrasound guy muttered something about being surprised by how big the lump was (he was doing the measurement of it and said 'but it CAN'T be THAT big...') and I said 'Well I've had the pain for a very long time', and he said 'Really? Okay.' and wrote down the measurement. I didn't ask what the measurement was. I got blood test results back today which were normal. I'm telling myself that that means whatever it is it isn't cancer (even though I know that's not true... so I'm not convincing myself!)

My next scheduled appointment isn't til March, but I'm guessing they'll bring it forward since they've found something? The ultrasound guy also did a scan of my gallbladder which he didn't say anything about and wasn't part of what the referral was. My mind is racing a bit. I'm trying not to think about it at all but then I start obsessing. Google is not my friend, and DH is so worried that I'm trying to seem cheerful and unbothered to keep him from stressing.

first time I've ever bumped my own OP... but I'm freaking out a bit just now. Anyone?

Sorry, read this and have no experience I'm afraid.
Understand how tough the not knowing is for you and googling is impossible.
Only thing I can think is if it was life threatening they would have whipped you in by now? When was the scan ? Can you call DR for an update?
Sure some doctors will be along soon to help

HI Bec,
i can't comment really, but couldn't let you stew on your own!
Your blood test is normal, which is reassuring. i'm guessing that maybe you didn't have other symptoms?
Go and see your gp, Bec. they'll totally understand about your worry - the internet is such a mixed blessing! i couldn't begin to tell you how many nasty illnesses i've diagnosed myself with over the years

Please don't google, it's an evil tool that will bring you no end of misery.

Do you have a Consultant? If so ring the secretary and explain your concerns and ask if Consultant can phone you.

Also have a (((((Vitual hug))))))

*Virtual

Aw, thanks guys, really appreciate it. Nice not to be alone. I am being a crap mum today - feeding DS biscuits and letting him watch endless TV and my Mum has left lots of text messages asking me to call her, but I can't face it. I know she'll ask about the scan - it was yesterday - and if I tell her they found a lump she'll totally freak out. But I'm not sure if I'll manage to not say anything or manage not to cry. So I'm avoiding her and feeling guilty. And feeding my son biscuits and feeling guilty. And freaking out myself and feeling guilty for being such a wuss.

I didn't have any other symptoms besides pain. No bowel symptoms, no weight loss, not particularly tired or run down. So that's good, right? I might call my GP tomorrow and ask if he could talk to me on the phone. I know I'm being really silly, I'm just not good with uncertainty - I'm quite obsessive - a list for everything, you know?

Poor you becstarting. I would be going out of my mind too imagining all sorts of things (all of them scary, thanks to Dr Google). I am not a medical person, but logically, I would have thought that something nasty would have had caused more symptoms by now than 'just' abdominal pain. Maybe it is a cyst or something?

Remember that google brings up and "diagnoses" all manor of crap. It is not medically trained! Fingers crossed for you.

PS, very good to read you have no other bowel symptoms, weight loss etc. That is all positive

Thank you zen1 and all. I have texted DH to say we're getting takeaway instead of me cooking tonight, and I am looking at our DVDs trying to decide which is the best one to veg out in front of. Thanks for helping - I needed to let it out, but if I let it out to people who love me they'd start worrying too, and that's no good. I know it's ridiculously melodramatic when I haven't been diagnosed with anything.

The ultrasound printout said I'd hear back in two weeks about my results, but I expect they'd call me earlier if it was more of a worry. So I guess I need to hope that I don't hear from them... We're going on holiday on Thursday anyway, so I'm hoping that a change of scene will take my mind off it and I can pretend it's not happening until I get back.

You're all very kind.

Bowel cancer usually presents with other symptoms such as constipation/diarrhea, blood or clear discharge and sometimes weight loss. Hope it's all ok but also, bowel cancer is quite an easily treatable cancer and treatment results are usually good.

Thank you Framey that's very reassuring - very kind of you. I'm feeling less hysterical today - been busy packing the car to go camping and being busy has brought me back to myself! The hospital haven't called which is surely a good sign. And I have to say I don't feel ill at all in myself, which must also surely be a good sign too. I think a week or so in a tent in a field is just what I need - and then when I get back I'll probably have a letter from the hospital and can deal with it when it comes.

Thank you all for being so lovely x

Yes, I think if they thought you had cancer they wouldn't have even let you go home without more tests.
When my Mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer she was straight in for a biopsy after ultrasound found the tumour and then straight in to see the consultant all in the same afternoon, who told her it was almost definitely BC even thought the results of the biopsy was not for another 10 days. So we were 99% sure it was cancer on the day.

Anyway, she's fine now and her tumour was 10 cms which is giant.

Sure it will be ok, have a good holiday :)

Could you follow up the x-ray results? Hopefully it's something totally benign, maybe even the ultrasound was wrong. I think the fact that you feel good, apart from that pain, and have no bowel problems is a reassuring sign.

I'd definitely be chasing up the results of that scan.... If you have a consultant or a GP get onto it today.
Not wanting to alarm you but my husband was completely well, had a sports injury which promoted a scan.... Didn't hear a thing for 3.5 weeks when they called us to tell us they suspected he had renal cell carcinoma.... Which he did :-(
Moral of the story.... Always chase results up when concerned.

I'd say the fact they haven't recalled you immediately's v.good news as with cancer they really don't hang around. Get GP to chase though, it's horrible waiting for results.

Yes, I think if they thought you had cancer they wouldn't have even let you go home without more tests. Not strictly true.

I was referred for a barium enema, and they found something. They must have known about it while I was there because the radiographer watches a screen, but I was recalled for a scan a week or so later. Then the scan operator presumably knew they were looking at a tumour, but it was about 10 days before I was called in to be told what it was.

I also had "clear" blood test results with nothing nasty showing, & no weight loss.

It's really no point second guessing though, as chances are it's a cyst.

Thank you all. I didn't take your advice - I went on holiday and pretended nothing was happening. My way of coping I guess... But when I got back today I found a letter from the hospital saying I've got an appointment for an MRI scan tomorrow morning. So I'm back to stressing, but while repeating to myself Sabriels words chances are it's a cyst. Thanks for being there - I can't tell my family as they will freak out - we've just had a death in my close family and everyone is still in shock about that. So I'm leaning on DH and mumsnet. It's probably a cyst, or something even more benign, and I'll feel very daft for wittering on about it.

Good luck for tomorrow, make sure you get the maximum information out of them and they don't send you home not knowing what's going on again.

At least the appointment is tomorrow and not in a weeks time. You don't have time to get really stressed about it :)

Hope all goes well for tomorrow bec

Good luck tomorrow...

Any news bec? How did it go?

Hope you are ok OP

thinking about you Bec

Bumping for bec - thought of you today.

Thanks all. Just popped back before I stick my head back in the sand again.

The MRI was a bit scary (I get claustrophobic) but the staff were very lovely and I managed to stay still and not freak out until after I'd got home. They told me that they can't tell me anything at all - that I needed to call the consultant's secretary. And the secretary told me that I need to call her back in two weeks when the results come through to her. She initially said that I would have to wait until my next appointment with the consultant and I said 'But that's in March next year' and she said 'Well we'll call you if we need to talk to you before then'. And I pushed a little very politely and she agreed that in two weeks I could call and find out whether they were bringing my appointment forward or not.

Am stressed when I think about it, so I'm just trying not to think about it. In a couple of weeks I start a new job with a lot more responsibility - just when I need to be calling to get my results. It's all a bit overwhelming. Thanks so much for being so kind. I was really moved to see that you'd been thinking about me.