Why is DP ill all the time?

[threeleftfeet]

DP is ill, so often, these days. Nothing major, but every time there's a cold or anything going round he gets it really badly. He has developed sinus problems in the last few of years, and a cold can end up giving him terrible headaches. It's not just his sinuses though. He's in generally bad health I think, he pulls muscles easily and gets lots of colds.

It seems to me that his immune system is really struggling.

There's hardly a week goes by when he's not taking a morning (till 12) or a whole day in bed. It's making him miserable and makes things difficult for me.

This is not normal for a 37 year old!

I am starting to get a bit annoyed actually - this has been going on two years and he hasn't been to the doctor about it once (he's not even registered at a doctor in the town we live in). He also hasn't tried the obvious - giving up cigarettes - or cutting down on his drinking.

He has wine with dinner many nights, or a couple of beers. He might have enough to be drunk every two or three weeks. I've got no problem with the drinking from a social point of view - he's a really funny drunk. He's an interesting, fun person and I love his company, sober or drunk. But from a health point of view I'm basically starting to think he's poisoning himself. I think he's in denial that alcohol has anything to do with his ill health. He partied a lot when he was younger and sees his relatively modest alcohol intake these days as nothing to worry about in comparison. Which of course makes no sense as he's not in a young body any more!

The smoking can only be damaging. I can't make him give up of course! But I don't think the penny's dropped about how much it's damaging him, or that he's ill all the time, possibly because of it. I got him that Alan Carr book but he found it overly American and it put him off.

If anyone has any advice - maybe on why he might be ill all the time, or how to support someone giving up smoking, or how to show him how damaging booze and fags are to your immune system, or anything else helpful, I'd be very grateful :)

I'm worried about him, and wish he'd do something about it!

He tends to get migraines too. This is a new development (his sister has always suffered terrible migraines).

We both have a cold at the moment. For me it's nothing major. I feel a bit rotten but it's not stopped me doing anything. DP said he felt a maigraine coming on in the morning. it didn't materialise but he felt awful all day. Then he tried to get an early night but couldn't sleep as the migraine came. When I went to bed an hour later he was still awake and in pain, waiting for the ibuprofen to work, and I woke up later (not sure when) to find him still in pain. This morning he's still asleep but his face is scrunched up in pain.

His pockets are always full of ibuprofen (also for back pain) and sudafed.

Regardless of anything else, he should be registered with a GP where you live and not somewhere else - perhaps use that admin tidy-up as a cue to get him checked over as part of the new patient registration.

This may be a totally inappropriate question but could he be drinking more than you know about? That might explain some of the constant colds and fatigue but I should add I am in recovery myself so you tend to 'see' the problem everywhere. If you're confident that couldn't be it, don't worry about it.

The year before I gave up smoking I had constantly blocked sinusses, migraines, colds, joint pains, especially in my knees and I had a cough that wouldn't clear.
Surprisingly ALL of these symptoms have gone since quitting fags, even the knee pains. Who knew smoking caused joint pains but a quick google shows that it strips your body of collagen and the connective tissues get damadged.

The sinus thing also, google that, smoking kills off all the micro hairs in your sinuses that clear infections and debris.

2 people close to us have just become seriously ill with smoking related disease, one has died age 47, of lung cancer and the other has serious heart disease, a major heart attack and a pacemaker age 42. He will never be able to get fit and run or ride a bike. Both are directly caused by smoking.

Please ask your husband to consider what he is prepared to sacrifice for smoking.

We all have to give up smoking at some point, it's better to do it before it's too late.
He can chooses to give up himself or be forced to by illness or even death.

I would caution against blaming the alcohol or cigarettes just yet as it may put him off seeking medical help for what could be a medical problem unrelated to either

A trip to GP for blood tests and general check up sounds in order. You might need to pile on the 'worry pressure' to get him there eg tell him how you need your mind put to rest. I would do that first before talking about lifestyle factors. Obv, giving up smoking is always a good thing, as is drinking in moderation

I just came across this old thread, thought I'd update just in case it's useful to anyone.

DP eventually went to the doctors, and it turned out he had Nasal Polyps and they were causing sinus infections.

He's had an operation and it's made a big difference. He's had colds since and they've been just normal colds, no migraines etc or time in bed. I haven't seen any Sudafed in the house for ages.

And he's talking about giving up smoking now, which is a step forward at least.