I am so unhealthy and can't seem to change :(

[AngryFeet]

I am 33 and have spent my entire life being unhealthy except for one year where I lost a lot of weight and exercised loads. I felt really good then and can't understand why I let myself put the weight back on and stopped all the exercise :(

I have a bmi of 32 so am at least 3 stone overweight but ideally should weigh 4 stone less than I do now. I smoke 5-10 cigarettes a day, drink 4-5 nights a week (too much each time about 6 units). I don't exercise at all and have no energy to. I am tired and my joints ache. I also get very bad ingestion about once a month or so.

I am fat, lazy and pretty disgusting really. I have a sort of reverse body dysmorphia where I think I look better than I do which is probably a good thing but I need to be realistic. I have health anxiety yet I don't look after my body at all which is extremely counter productive!

I guess I don't know where to start! I am addicted to all these things but need to give them all up. I have a busy life and struggle to find time to exercise except for the evening after I put the kids to bed when I want to relax.

I just want to be my best while I am still young. And I don't just mean how I look, how I feel physically is more important right now.

I have been on every diet under the sun and nothing seems to work.

How can I get off my arse and help myself?

No idea but please let me know if you find the secret, I need it too!

I'm useless at the whole will power thing too. Maybe it would be good start with small steps, so pick one thing and try to cut down on it within a realistic time frame (not necessarily cut it out all together, just reduce the amount) and then take it from there?
Hugs and good luck

Just change one thing at a time. It is too hard to look at everything at once.

Eat an apple a day
Go for a 5 min walk every day (if you're enjoying it keep going)

How old are your kids? Can you do stuff with them?

I'm a fan of the Paul McKenna CD range - they're very effective if all else fails!

No diet will work until you are in the right frame of mind to make it work. Someone on another thread very wisely commented that she only started losing weight when she stopped blaming everyone and everything else in her life and accepted that she was the only person putting food in her mouth. I have been very conscious of this for several weeks now and have lost nearly 6kg (1 stone) as a result. For me - carb counting works? I know it's a very individual thing but, after the first few days, my appetite really drops away and I am very rarely hungry.
Sounds to me like you are very hard on yourself too which doesn't help - it's much easier to build on positives that negatives. I realised that I also like a drink (too often) so I have changed my tipple to a gin and low cal tonic so at least I'm limiting the damage. Give yourself a break and some realistic targets - sometimes something just "clicks" and you're off :)
Good luck xx

I think small steps won't work. I hear lots of excuses in your post but not much drive to change

I would...

Stop smoking tomorrow, just don't buy any more fags and get whatever help you need to stop.

Stop buying booze, and only drink at weekends or celebrations.

Go onto myfitnesspal if you need help with calculating how much you need to be eating to be healthier.

And go for a really brisk wAlk for at least 30 minutes every single day.

wear nicer make up, bother with your hair and nails and start to be the person you really are, not an unhealthy lump anymore

Could you make a start by cutting back on some of the alcohol?

Maybe find a substitute soft drink or fizzy water.

Would your GP offer you a gym membership as he/she must be worried about your health risks?

.... and I've just seen your profile picture - you're lovely!!!

I was going to suggest one thing at a time. I would start with weight, as that seems to be the thing that's keeping you from exercising too. Have you tried a diet club? I would say that Slimming World is very good. Not only do you have a diet to stick to, but the support of others and the thought of a weigh-in each week would help to keep you on the straight and narrow. It will help you to cut down on the booze too. Once you lose some weight (a stone maybe?) then start exercising. Once you get that underway, then maybe tackle the smoking.

Best of luck - you know you need to do this, so don't put it off any longer. Get cracking now and you'll feel SO much better in a month's time x

I agree I am making excuses. Every day I think I will start dieting/exercising tomorrow and I will quit smoking and drinking. So I binge all day on everything then do the same thing the next day. I actually wish the doctor would tell me they are concerned about my weight so I had a damn good reason to do something about it. I saw him about my joints aching and asked if my weight was an issue and he just said no it isn't. I asked once about losing weight and he mumbled something about low gi.

I need to stop being a twat I know

Liking the tough love cybbo. You are right. I just need to get on with it. I was saying the same thing last year.

Would the tough love approach work with you?

It doesn't sound like you need a 'diet', you need to change your approach to food/your lifestyle.
Stop buying alcohol & fags & use the money to buy a fantastic designer dress in 2 sizes smaller than you are & aim to be in it on Christmas Day?

Have a look at the portion sizes on the sides of packets & try sticking to them...or take a picture of the suggested size, then the portion you eat & stick them to the fridge.
Or
Take a picture of yourself in a bikini & stick it to the fridge, so everyday you see your full self & take a new photo every month so you can see the changes?

There is a slimming world club on Thursday mornings next door to my work which might be an option....

I don't suppose you can afford a personal trainer, can you? They are so sexy really helpful.

Myfitnesspal. I cannot recommend this app enough. Not only do you see where your calories are going, you see how much of your intake is fat/protein etc, how much iron you're getting, what percentage of vitamin RDAs .... Great .

I think you need to take tiny small steps as another poster said. Commit to having a healthy breakfast every morning and a brisk walk 3 times a week. Build up to more. Think about your choices: will lying on couch eating crisps make me happy in the longterm? Maybe for an hour it will...but not for much longer. Trying to be mindful really helps me.

Be kind to yourself. When things go wrong ( or go right too slowly!) be patient. Love yourself no matter what. You are living, moving forward, a work in progress! Be hopeful .

Angryfeet, you know you can do it. Remember how great it felt to fit into your clothes and not stand in front of the wardrobe sighing because you can't do anything up? (I know, I've been there).

Don't even think of it as losing weight , think of it as being kinder to your self. you are not being kind to yourself at the moment with the choices you make.

We only get one body, if that goes tits up we really are up crap creek without a paddle

And YY to portion sizes.

And do it one at at a time, otherwise it is completely overwhelming. It's taken you ages to get into this mess, you ain't going to clean it up overnight

It's so exciting! A Whole new you!

Angry feet,
I can sympathise with you totally but agree with the other posters that you have to be motivated to get results. Having tried every diet going I have recently seen a nutritionalist to try and sort out ll my food issues and terrible eating habits. It's early days yet but I'm hoping it will be the end of fad diets and a start to a more healthy and balanced approach to food and eating.

If you can afford t a personal trainer s also a sub idea. I have used one twice in past and had very good results.

Tbh you need to be able to enjoy the changes

I lost weight on weight watchers as I just started to really enjoy big salads grilled fish and big bowls of berries and yogurt as treats. And switched to single low cal gts! Plus i drank champagne on nights out so I would run out of money.

You need to make it enjoyable or there is no point.

Are there any changes you look forward to making?

Thanks for the advice. I think I will cut back by no smoking or drinking during the week. I can go a few days without smoking easily so not worried about that. I am not sure whether to try slimming world or just cut down my portions and chose healthier options...

I tried a personal trainer but he was so uninspiring (seriously monotone) and he pushed me so hard I felt sick and dizzy . I like the idea of walking 30 mins a day. That is achieveable right now. I need to build up my fitness slowly I think. I had back and knee problems when I lost weight before as I was doing high impact aerobics every day for 1 hour. I might go back to zumba classes on my two days off work - I really enjoyed those.

I am by inclination very similar to you, but have lost 3 stone since having my DD 3 years ago. The only thing that worked for me was making one change at a time and giving it plenty of time (at least 3 months) to stick before i started on anything else. I'm pretty much where I want to be weightwise now, and have been going to the gym once a week with a personal trainer since Christmas (this is made much easier by the fact that I am lighter and my joints are more confortable. I still tend to drink a bit much on the weekends, but never (or almost never on a school night. This was actually the easiest for me once I got a few days in as i immediately felt sooo much better and now I can tell I haven't slept as well even if I've had a single unit of alcohol. Smoking is the hardest one for me. I never smoke more than 2-5 cigarettes and I keep giving up for weeks/months at a time, but tend to slip back into it when work gets very stressful (which happens quite often).

So I got up this morning and made my first healthy decision which was to have fruit, yogurt and a handful of nut muesli with rice milk for breakfast. For lunch I had couscous with lamb in tomato sauce (small portion). So far so good!

well done Angry - also try sticking to the 80 / 20 rule. If you can be good 80% of the time the odd hick up or treat 20% of teh time will be fine

well done Angry....don't forget just do it a day at a time. And if you have a bad day, chalk it up and forget about it, don't think the whole thing has failed

I watched the film 'forks over knives'. Made me think a lot about my diet and make some changes. I've lost about 1/2 stone over the last year which isn't a lot (I should weigh another stone less) but its come off without me 'dieting' - infact, I will never diet ever again but just eat well most of the time.