DD (nearly 5) has a really phobia about being sick ...

[sandyballs]

.. just wondered how common this is. She had a sicky virus a few months ago and since then has really worried and stressed about being sick again and absolutely hates the thought of anyone else being sick near her. Her sister felt sick last night and she was absolutely horrible to her, she reacted very aggressively and nastily and really freaked out.

my mum has this vomit phobia
she hasnt vomitted since she was a little girl and the thought terrifies her even today.

Hello, I am another emetophobe - if you check the archives, I was posting under the name of Lonelymum.

I am very sorry for your dd but yes, it sounds like she has all the classic symptoms of emetophobia. I have had it as long as I can remember and was (and am) exactly the same as your dd around people feeling/being sick. My sister used to throw up with her periods and I (being younger and not understanding why she was being sick) used to refuse to go anywhere near her - used to irritate her no end!

I am sorry to say I react very aggressively and nastily towards my children when they feel sick too. It is a horrible reaction to have and your dd, if she continues that way, won't like herself for it, anymore than I like me for it.

I don't know what to suggest you can do to cure her. If she is frequently sick in childhood, she may get over it, but many emetophobes are not frequently sick (I haven't been sick with a bug for 32 years) which I suspect why they actually get the phobia in the first place: because they never get used to being sick.

But anyway, yes, it is common. Most adults with it are too ashamed to admit to it I think.

Thanks for your replies. Very interesting, it isn't something I know very much about at all.
She was never a sicky baby - I think the recent sicky virus was the first time she has been properly sick.

We have had problems with getting her to school in the mornings and I think this sickness phobe may be partly behind that - she is frightened of being sick in the classroom and of being near classmates who have been sick, which has happened recently.

She sounds really frightened. Have you tried talking to her about her fear of being sick/other people being sick? At least at her age, she should be able to talk about it without the fear of appearing odd. Perhaps she just needs reassuring that being sick is an entirely natural thing, that no-one likes it, but fortunately it doesn't happen very often and she won't come to any harm if it does happen again.

None of that helps me with my phobia, but maybe if it had been said when I was really young, it might have made a difference.

Now I know it is a very real fear I will reassure her and chat to her like you say.
I'm afraid I handled it quite badly last night, got very cross with her insensitivity to her poorly sister .

Yes believe me, failure of others to understand does not help one bit.

But I do seriously think that if you can reassure her that it is normal and unpleasant but it doesn't happen often, you might be able to allay her fears a bit.

Yes i think it is common, i have a phobia of being sick, if anyone is sick near me it makes me urge, i try and stay away from anyone who feels sick. The thought of being sick scairs me, i even have nightmares about being sick. Ive never realy spoke to anyone about it because i thought i was odd but then i googled it and found loads of people have this phobia.

For once, I can post a positive message on one of these threads (after my doom and gloom in the past). My boys had the virus which everyone seems to have had last week and I managed to cope. It wasn't pleasant but I stayed with them and I didn't panic.

This is a huge first for me. The phobia has dominated my life since the age of 12. I don't think I am cured - the thought of my husband catching it terrifies me. There is no way I could stay in the house. But I haven't cried or screamed and I have only had one nightmare. I really feel that I have made progress.

Hope for us all!

I have the same phobia. had it for as long as i can remember.
Hate the thought of being sick myself but most of all i am terrified of other people being sick.
If Dp tells me he even feels sick then i send him to his mums for the night as i'm scared of catching whatever he's got.
As a child i remember suffering panic attacks and being really terrified when someone in our house was ill.
There were even times that i had to have days of school or was sent home because i thought i was going to be sick (i never was).

Glad there is a name for this phobia i'd never heard of it before, thought i was the only one.

Sandyballs Your Dd probably reacted aggresively through fear i do the same to Dp and i'm 27 !!

Do certain things make you shudder?

The words sawdust and bucket - I can hardly even say them!

I'm another emetophobe.

My DD is just 6 and she too is showing signs of being scared too. She hasn't been sick since she was 3 and tbh I think its just a fear of the unknown.

Have been having therapy for 6 weeks now. My therapist believes that my phobia stems from the fact that I was abandoned as a child by my father and my mother was a very anxious person (although she doesn't have my phobia she is terrified of blood), she believes that my phobia was caused because I never felt "safe and protected" as a child which is why I channelled my fears into a phobia through my subconscience.

Am hoping that because my dd has both parents and is growing up within a loving, protective family and has one parent who is not anxious will help her realise she doesn't need to be afraid.

Not sure if this makes sense but thats the way I am dealing with it.

My DS is also sick quite often too, usually when he has a major tantrum. Luckily for me I can clean it up it doesn't bother me after the deed is done.

If my kids are ill DP holds them while its happening and I do the cleaning up afterwards - suits us both.

Thankfully my children are not ill very often (touch wood).

I know its awful to say but I feel so warmed by being on here knowing that I am not the only Mum who is not be able to be their for her kids when they need her most.

It really upsets me though just wish I was normal, just for my kids.

Lulabelle, everything you said fits me too except that my kids don't dare make themselves sick to get their way as I suspect they are terrified of the monster I become whenever they are sick. (Also, I suppose, they just don't like being sick.)

I have never made much attempt to hide my reactions from my children - I am too weak and self-centred I suppose - but equally, I have always explained to my children that my reaction is not normal in the hope that they won't also develop the phobia.

Now my eldest is getting on for 10, I have started to confide in him a bit too. My dh goes away alot and I am terrified of the children being ill when he is away, so I often spend the time he is not here snapping at them through sheer nervousness. Ds1 noticed my behaviour (not hard to miss actually!) and I explained to him that it was related to my phobia (also explained the word phobia to him) so that he at least would understand that I wasn't angry with them about anything, just scared witless for myself. It makes me feel a bit better about myself that at least one of my children has an inkling of why I am so horrible to them at times.

Another emetophobe here! I also try to send my dh to his mothers, but he doesn't go. As a matter of fact, my dh is not very supportive and tells me I am being stupid (which of course makes things worse). I am almost no help when my boys are sick (which is thankfully not often), as I shake so badly and I don't want them seeing me like that.

I never thought I had a phobia of people being sick but I hate it if people are ill or have had some bug etc.

I can be sick myself and im fine, however I cant listen to or watch anyone be sick on TV and if anyone im with is sick ie dh after 1 to many drinks I have to leave him and then im shakey, antious and convinced im going to be sick myself.
If anyone has a bug I wont go anywhere near them and I get angry if people havent told me theyve been ill.

Im worse with DD, 21 months and dread her being sick as I panic and shake, I deal with it because I have to but if DH is home he has to deal with it and as horrible as it sounds if DD is ill id much rather go to work and leave her with mil or DH than have to watch her be sick.

I think my fear started with being sick after I ate apple pie. It wasnt related but to me it was and it was only 10 years after that I could eat apple pie. It didnt help having to lie in bed when I was little listening to a drunk mum or dad being sick. I dont know why as neither of them did it v often ie only xmas parties etc but I hated it.

I'm stunned at how common this phobia is. Thanks for all your posts, it's helping me realise that I need to be gentle and understanding when DD is like this and not get cross with her, as I have been doing in the past.

I might print this off and show it to my mum. I was visiting her yesterday and both DDs were eating chocolate and mum said "don't put so much in your mouth at once, you'll be sick", which is a perfectly normal thing for her to say but not in the case of my DD, who immediately stopped eating it and questioned me all the way home about "Am I going to be sick mummy, was nana right". I found it hard to explain it to my mum.