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Original poster

Serious worries for friend's ds

13 replies

doggiesayswoof · 20/02/2006 11:47

Here's the scenario: friend's ds is 2y 11m old. He has major eating problems and will hardly eat at all. His weight is the average weight of a 16mo baby. Mealtimes are very tense and he screams to get out of his high chair. He goes to nursery and is in with the babies as he is so small - they have "held him back" so he's not getting time with children his own age. His development in general (speech, gross motor skills) seems slow and he has not started potty training, also still sleeps in a cot. I think my friend "babies" him as she is v worried about him. She is seeing a consultant but his next appt is not till mid-March and he's looking so ill. Her GP just sends her away. Any advice, either on how to "work" the NHS system or how to get him to eat?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 20/02/2006 11:49

He needs to be referred to a paediatric consultant to figure out if there is a genetic or medical reason for his delays first and then go from there.

Kidstrack2 · 20/02/2006 11:53

If i was his mum he wouldn't be held back at nursery, i would have to say something to nursery, surely its not good for him to be in with the babies. Research shows you need to present foods up to 15times for a child just to try it, obviously your freinds ds has other problems associated with food and thats why he has been given an app in March, one thing I will say is your friend shouldn't give in to the snack/sweet foods that all kids like just so that he eats something, if he is so hungry he will eventually eat food, but then again he may have something underlying that only a specialist can help

Kidstrack2 · 20/02/2006 11:55

forgot to say all these things could be a result of your freind babying him, on the other hand could be medical

doormat · 20/02/2006 11:55

what about the Health visitor
isnt there any input there
if not why not

as for the potty training this is not unusual

chapsmum · 20/02/2006 11:58

Some psychologists belive that a child of that age will only eat one good meal every 48 hours and sometimes only 16tbs of food per day. When he does eat it should be nutricious.

His GP should be offering advice about suplamenting his diet with vitamins.

How is your df health visitor, does she have any support???

busybaby · 20/02/2006 12:14

I think I would try to speak to the consultant's secretary (does she have a letter with the phone nmber or hospital switchboard may put her through) and explain and ask if there's any way that they'll bring the appointment forward - it's worth a try.
Otherwise, I'd refuse to leave the GP surgery until I was satisfied they've done that for me and got a result - isn't that a part of what they are there for when there's genuine need?

busybaby · 20/02/2006 12:14

I think I would try to speak to the consultant's secretary (does she have a letter with the phone nmber or hospital switchboard may put her through) and explain and ask if there's any way that they'll bring the appointment forward - it's worth a try.
Otherwise, I'd refuse to leave the GP surgery until I was satisfied they've done that for me and got a result - isn't that a part of what they are there for when there's genuine need?

Original poster
doggiesayswoof · 20/02/2006 13:31

Thanks for your replies. Df's GP seems to be useless; she only got her ds referred to the consultant when she took him to local A&E. Definitely seems to be some psychological problem because when he was staying with his gran over xmas he was eating well and put on some weight. I think df is so worked up about it it's become a vicious circle - he senses that she is tense and gets upset. Difficult for her friends because she seems to be somewhat in denial and doesn't take too kindly to us butting in!

OP posts:
busybaby · 20/02/2006 20:44

That makes it really difficult - had similar problem with sister-in-law.
Don't know if there's any use in it but when I've watched house of tiny tearaways there's lots of children with eating problems - mostly psychological and exacerbated by the parents' anxiety about it. Dr Tanya Byron has written a book that goes with the TV programme - haven't bought it yet, but intend to - I assume there would be advice in there.

CaptainCavemansMummy · 20/02/2006 20:47

kidstrak2 and Chapsmum, your words are very reassuring!
not worried about ds but will remember to keep trying things he's always refused before, so thanks!

getbakainyourjimjams · 20/02/2006 22:27

If he has developmental problems ("speech, gross motor skills seems slow") then eating problems may well be tied into that. Does she work or can she take him out of nursery (holding him back is dreadful for the mother;s mental health, never mind his if she is worried about him- been there done that).

He needs a proper assessment, however well meaning feeding advice is going to be if he has developmental delays its a whole different ball game and well meaning advice can make you feel shit (been there done that),

TBH unless she can afford to go private (and find someone to see) she isn't going to be seen before Mid March unless there is a cancellation and she has the stregnth to phone every day. Mid March is a very quick appointment for the NHS- very fast.

getbakainyourjimjams · 20/02/2006 22:31

I doubt she's in denial- she;s more likely terrified. She has a referral in March (VERY quick for NHS believe me). I;d keep quiet and let her talk in her own time.

brimfull · 20/02/2006 23:00

can't expand on the advice about eating already given but I think the potty training and cot are quite normal really

My ds wasn't trained until 3yrs 1 m and he slept in cot until nearly 3 aswell

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