Anyone had experience of coping with elderly parent who had had amputation?

[triplets]

Hi......feeling sick about all this. Basically my 84 yr old mum has been under gp and podiatry dept at local hosp for 3 months. She has cellultis in her left leg and she stubbed her big toe and made it sore, she is diabetic. They have bandaged it heavily for three months so we couldn`t see what was going on. Then three weeks ago she said they were making her an appt to see a vascular nurse as her toe was black. Well I took her on Thurs at 4pm, she was admitted into hosp y/day where we spent a long day being seen by doctors, scanned etc. She was kept in and today I will get the scan result. At least she is going to lose her toes, but they have hinted it could be alot more. She has little blood supply to that leg, and very much reduced in her other one. If anyone can offer advice I would be very grateful. On top of all this my dh goes into hospital in London on Weds for open lung surgery to remove a tumour He has had cancer for 4 years, starting in is bowel, now spread to liver and lungs. Our triplets are only 14, life is very tough atm. Thanks x

Sorry, no, it sounds awful.

You might want to try posting this in elderly parents.

Oh triplets how dreadful .

I imagine that the hospital will be able to give advice about your mum ,they will have procedures in place - physio ,occupational therapist ,social worker etc and will assess and advise before any discharge .
There will be assessments made regarding suitabilty of home and any necessary adaptations , aids and a care package ( probably a 6 week one to begin with before handed over to local authority social services ) .

My experience is that weekends in hospital are a bit hopeless ,no one around who knows what's going on and sometimes the care is not as good - but I only say that to reassure you that if it all seems a bit like fighting a fog this weekend that it will undoubtably be better during the week .

London has some fantastic hospitals ,really excellent when it comes to the type of thing your DH is having ,they really pull out all the stops in a way they don't for more routine procedures .
I am sure he will get the best of care .

Hang on in there ,one day at a time .

Thank you for replying. Gingeroots very helpful advice. The surgeons came at 3pm to tell us the result of the scan. The blockage is in the aorta, it is severely diseased and has partially collapsed. They are meeting on Weds to discuss if anything her options. If, if they can achieve some sort of by-pass they will direct the flow to her right leg, and the left leg will be amputated. I feel sick and shocked, cannot bear to think of her going through all of this. So big day Weds, same day as dh is having his lung op in London. Gutted

Oh dear triplets ,thinking of you and yours .

This sounds very, very tough triplets, too much for one family to have to bear. I hope both your mum and your husband come through any procedures they have to undergo. And I hope they can save your mum's leg, though from what you have said they don't seem to be considering this. :(

My Aunt had to have her leg amputated below the knee after a sore became infected (well bit more complicated than that) but she was mid 80's then and pretty frail, however she managed to get on with the false leg once the stump had healed for about a year or so. However she then had some problems with the stump and was then in wheel chair until she died in her mid 90's. This was about 10 years ago.
My Aunt was not the best at following instructions. She also wasn't a physically strong person and found using the leg was tiring.

So - advice - take care with the stump and take all advice to get onto and then use the prosthetic leg, your Mum has to really get anal about caring for the stump as until it heals and toughens it will hurt and could get sore which will stop her using it.
Get the house kitted out with grab handles (esp on stairs and around the loo) if not already got them and wheelchair ready (ramps, move furniture about) My Aunt used to shuffle up and down stairs on her bum - so we had grab handles all over the place

I know it feels awful - but having a leg off doesn't mean the end - it will complicate things, but they aren't insurmountable.

My dad hurt his foot about 5.5 years ago. It went necrotic. The whole foot looked Like a piece of charcoal with 3 massive dents in. He was an undiagnosed diabetic. He had a below knee amputation. It didn't heal so lost the knee. About 6 months after discharge he started with an ulcer on the other leg. The district nurses & vascular consultant have spent 5 years trying to save it but on friday he had a through knee amputation. He is 69. He is seriously non-compliant with his diabetes & other medicines. He progressed from type 2 to type 1. When he has high sugars or an infection he gets confused. He is currently very delirious. He has said some horrible things this week & isn't alary

Oops
Isn't very nice to the nurses. Just rang to see how he is & has not long since asked for his mum. I live 190 miles away with 2 pre-school children. I am an only child & my parents are divorced. Logistical nightmare. I am going to try & get him in a nursing home near me. I think he will have to be hoisted everywhere now. I don't think he will have the strength for transfers from bed/chair/toilet as he did. I am not at all surprised this has happened. I am more upset about his mental state & praying he gets back to himself when he has physically recovered

Hi Liz....what a nightmare for you, and your Dad is so young, 69 is nothing .I just have to wait and see what happens, they will decide on Weds, then we just have to get on with it. Since my son died in 94 I have become an expert on that............sadly:(

Triplets, my heart goes out to you for all you have been through/are facing. My late Dad had first his toes then his lower leg amputated when he was in his 60s. Toes - he came to live with me (no stairs) and hobbled about for a while then managed to go home (one step down into kitchen).

A few months later he had to lose the lower leg. He was discharged one evening without my being told, in a wheelchair that couldn't fit into his house with no help, the ambulance driver etc dragged him in onto the sofa and left him. He managed to raise the alarm with his neighbour by banging (he never had a phone at that house) and she rang me. I then rang the emergency duty social worker and told them to get it sorted out immediately as I was too far away, and they sent a carer that night, and afterwards he had a home help, district nurse etc. So practically I am saying to you, you need to ensure everything is in place before she goes home, if indeed she can go home. Be very careful if she lives with you as they may try to discharge her into your care which means you will have to do pretty much everything for her. It will be a while before she can get around well enough, you need to think about getting to the loo and practical stuff like that. I am not sure how it all works now but there's some sort of care package that you as next of kin must negotiate before a person is discharged from hospital? Maybe you know all this already with your sad experiences previously so sorry if I am just going over it again.

Other than that, my Dad had big problems with balance so sometimes a false limb really helps (but really hurts) and could still feel the limb "itching" and it drove him mad. Eventually he managed to cope well with a false limb/wheelchair when needed until he died some years later. Please be ruthless with hospital and don't let them put it all onto you, insist you get help.

Let us know how it all goes.

Triplets I don't have anything practical to add but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and your family.

Let us know how it goes.

Trips my colleague has a mother who is a diabetic amputee. I will ask her for some advice for you. I know she feels she has a burden of care for her Mum but there is in place a very good care package of home helps/district nurses etc. Just try to ensure the social work team and home help team do everything they need to prior to
Your mum leaving hospital. Hope H gets on okay on Weds.

Take care and have a chocolate brazil on me xxx

Thinking of you Triplets x