A health/relationship question - wasn't sure which to put it in...

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How do you get a stubborn man to see a doctor? Please someone help me!

Every morning for the last 6 months or so, my DP wakes up, goes into the bathroom and spends around 15 minutes coughing and spitting. It has been getting steadily worse. A few weeks ago he asked me 'what does it mean if you're coughing up blood?' I told him that it could be a number of different things and he should see a doctor. He said no. End of conversation.

Well he's been coughing more and more and now has terrible diarrhoea. He won't go to the doctor's. He isn't even registered with one. I managed to get him to complete a form to register, but they said he would need to make an appointment to see the nurse for a new patient check, so he won't go.

When I ask him why he says he's never been to see a doctor and isn't going to start now. He says he's afraid they'll make him take a day or two off work, which again he has never done and never will. He also keeps saying that it would be 'pointless'.

I have tried asking nicely. I have tried begging. I have tried pleading. I have tried emotional blackmail (telling him his health is not his concern alone now he has children - he needs to be well for them too) and nothing is working. I am worried about his cough, but it may just be something simple that needs antibiotics.

What am I going to do?

Make an appointment for him and be blunt...this does not sound like something that should be ignored!!!

Is there a friend of his or family member that he'd listen to? He really does need to get it checked out. I'm assuming he's otherwise had good health and this is unusual for him.

Ring the doctor and explain? Get the GP/nurse to ring him?

Coughing up blood can be serious, especially if it lasts for more than a month. Now that he has diarrhoea it might be an indication of something serious, it might be unrelated, but he definately needs to go. Try telling him that if you was coughing for the last 6 months, and then coughing up blood, would he be worried and expect you to go to the Dr.

He also sounds very afraid as well of what could be happening but burying his head in the sand and putting on a front as he is doing now towards you is helping no-one, least of all himself.

I would talk to your surgery about him, tell them all that you have written here and if still they cannot assist, would go with him to A & E for him to be further assessed.

This must be horribly worrying for you, and so frustrating. Of course he needs to see a doctor. Men are notorious for being unwilling to see doctors, and their health suffers as a result - there was a study a while ago about this.

Can you go and see your own GP to discuss this? Perhaps it's something they're familiar with and they might have some suggestions. It would also give you a chance to discuss his symptoms.

You could always secretly call out a GP as an emergency, maybe at night so he won't be expecting it. You might have to lie about your reasons when you make the call, but I'm sure they'd understand how desperate you are.

Do you know any GPs socially, who could ask him about his symptoms under the guise of casual conversation?

Good luck.

I think I'd be trying to get him to go to A&E.

He needs to see someone.
Would he be persuaded by the possibility that he could be putting others in the family at risk - one cause of coughing up blood is TB (I'm not saying that is what he has, but he could have something transmissable). He really does need to get this sorted out.

Have you considered contacting the surgery and seeing if a doctor will visit you?. I'm sure if you explain the symptoms ( especially the blood), they will come out.

Drive him up to a walk in centre, say you're going to the park until you arrive there!