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General health

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Original poster

anyone know if you HAVE to see the health visitor?

25 replies

NappiesGalore · 14/02/2006 14:41

mine is really annoying, ignorant, not very bright, and pushy as hell. my kids are all abviously thriving, but she keeps hassling me to take them in to see her for 'checks' all the time...
appreciate that she exists and would want her there if i needed her, but i clearly DONT need her, so cant she just b*gger off and bother someone who wants her?

do i HAVE to take my kids for things like 18month check? anyone know?

OP posts:

hana · 14/02/2006 14:45

of course you don't have to go
book an appt with gp for 18 month check if you want them seen

Kelly1978 · 14/02/2006 14:46

Nope. I don't. Hate HVs with a passion.

MrsBigD · 14/02/2006 14:50

No you don't Especially if you feel your kids are doing fine

With dd I went to every appointment, then again she wasn't 'thriving'. Hated the HV though because she was such an insensitive person.

With ds who's very obviously thriving I just went to the major mile stones, like hip check with gp etc.

Might take him at 18 months just to make sure he's not eating too much he's a little pork chop. Well actually he's average, but dd is such a wee person and bad eater...

MistressMary · 14/02/2006 14:52

No they offer a service.
You are not obliged to go to see them.

kreamkrackers · 14/02/2006 14:56

good i'm so glad to hear this. my dd has special needs and is getting all the extra help available. i was worried about the 18 month check as i know she's going to fail everything and it breaks my heart to take her knowing she's going to fail. she's just turned 21 months though and still hasn't been called in for it but it's up to 24 months so i was thinking they were giving her extra time. even at 24 months i doubt she'll be doing what an 18 month old should be doing.

TinyGang · 14/02/2006 15:04

I didn't. I said she could do the seeing and weighing etc if she came to me because it was hard for me to go to her with twins. Didn't see her for dust after about three visits. I have never understood their charts either and have no idea what a centile represents or care and I've had three children! I do go to the milestone check-ups, just as a sort of 'out of interest' thing though.

To be fair, my HV been quite a good source of advice on two or three occasions and has let me get on with things until I ask. I think mine is quite good in that respect, but have read on here of some holy terrors and I would definatley avoid any like that.

I only took the more laid back approach with numbers two and three though. When dd1 was born -as my first, I took her religiously to be weighed weekly and for the 'chat'. What a pallavar it was too. I thought you had to thoughLol! You live and learn I guess!

Highlander · 14/02/2006 16:13

when I have #2, I will never see the HV. Happy to make my way to an open clinic now and again to do my own weighing, but she aint getting in my door with her bloody charts and developmental milestones.

She tried to bully me into seeing her when DS was 1 for a 'check'. I told her I was far happier taking DS to the GP when he is 2 for a thorough medical. Checking whether he's reached devpt milestones is hardly rocket science.

MerlinsBeard · 14/02/2006 16:19

i only go to get DS2 weighed now. Could weigh him at hiome if he would sit still on teh scales....he likes to bounce

Piffle · 14/02/2006 16:19

expatinscotland · 14/02/2006 16:20

mine is a condescending snob. i'm in the process of switching surgeries.

zippitippitoes · 14/02/2006 16:21

some areas don't do 18 month checks anyway

Original poster

NappiesGalore · 14/02/2006 16:22

oh good!

Thanks everybody. i will happily cancel the appointment she railroaded me into booking.

or maybe... i'll go and actually speak my mind for once, as its the strain of not being honest/starting an argument that i find so hard to bear. she is sooooooo irritating. yeah, maybe not.

maybe i'll become a health visitor, just so theres at least one out there with a modicum of intelligence, sensitivity, respect... yeah, maybe not.

ah, the relief of knowing i dont have to see that woman is sweet. will book in to see the GP instead. thanks ladies

OP posts:

motherinferior · 14/02/2006 16:24

I think mine's given up on me

Highlander · 14/02/2006 16:30

if you really want to piss her off - book your vaccinations with the practice nurse instead. My HV couldn't understand why an appt was preferable to potentially sitting around in the clinic for hours with other squeeling babies.

expatinscotland · 14/02/2006 16:34

Or front them w/loads of questions about how paediatric services are parceled out at the surgery. Take notes.

Mine got all paranoid. But she never tries to bully me now .

ggglimpopo · 14/02/2006 16:37

Message withdrawn

Elf1981 · 14/02/2006 16:38

Where I live, the HV comes out once to introduce themselves, they will come back again if asked to weigh the baby a few days later. If HV doesn't see a potential problem and baby is fine, they wont pester. If I want to see the HV I have to go to the drop in clinic on a Thursday, no appointment but can go for chat / weighing / injections and appointment with doctor.
My DD is 19 weeks old, my first baby and the HV came out once. And I only saw community midwife twice after having baby, and that was only to check my scar from my c-section.
Having said that, my HV's were all very nice. I'm off on Thursday to get DD weighed and chat about weaning.

expatinscotland · 14/02/2006 16:40

Both mine tried to make it very clear they knew what was best for me. My parents tried that, too.

It didn't work for any of them .

Original poster

NappiesGalore · 14/02/2006 17:12

i dont give a monkeys about pissing her off (she strikes me as one of those very thick-skinned, thick-headed types anyway, v difficult to upset coz they cant tell youre insulting them, blithering idiot jobs-worth beurocrats) just want her to piss off!

she'll get the message when i book apts with the docs/nurses for everything from now on and avoid her like the plague. not that ive ever sought the damn woman out, silly old bat.

not that im bitter

OP posts:

GDG · 14/02/2006 17:14

I don't think ds3 has ever really seen the HV - he was weighed up to about 2 weeks then again at 8 month check but that's it.

They never tell me anything I don't already know and I find the whole thing pretty pointless. If I'm worried about something I'll go and see the GP.

satine · 14/02/2006 17:19

Mine is useless, and really dismissive. I used to feel that I was interrupting her chat with her assistant if I ever dared to ask a question. And the only time I took my dd to a clinic, both dd and ds were really playing up, I was obviously stressed and I told her my dh was about to go off to Iraq for 6 months. I didn't hear another thing from her - not even a phone call to check that I hadn't completely lost it. I haven't seen her since - as far as she knows, I might have done away with both kids by now! I actaully complained about her to my GP in the end, but I doubt anything will change.

claire7676 · 14/02/2006 17:38

I've ended up complaining about mine, shes so useless that no one ever wants to see her, so she tells the assistant that weighs that we HAVE to then go in and see her for a chat. She never offers any advice or opinions, just refers you back to the red book!! Consequently I've stopped going, DDs 8 mth check being done while she slept was the final straw! She was off sick once and a male HV was on, he was great and made me realise what a reassurance and help HVs can be...

PeachyClair · 14/02/2006 17:59

My last one was known loally as mad anne (don't know my current ones name, find it best to keep at arms length). SHe was awful- looked about 23 from back, like a long deceased corpse with a wig from front! She'd make patronising 'Mummy knows best' comments every time she disagreed with you, including when I asked for ds1 to see an eye specialist- turned out he has severe astigmatism.

Whn I expressed that I wasn't hugely worried about ds3 possibly having some hearing problems (ds2 does also), she asked me in the middle of a packed room if I loved him!!!! . yes very much, therefore I'd accept him whatever his difficulties.

She also gossiped (complimentary otherwise would have complained) to another client about me... didn't know she was my SISTER!

Arabica · 14/02/2006 18:02

I only went about three times, the last one was DS' 18 month check. Never bothered going back after that as I didn't have any concerns or questions.

Original poster

NappiesGalore · 14/02/2006 18:41

oh well, mine doesnt seem so bad, given some of the stories here.

actually yes, shes crap.

glad to hear there are one or two good ones about though.

OP posts:

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