I read this article and thought it put into words how I felt for the first 6 months of ds's life. I found it very hard to read because of the feelings it evoked. Ds is now 8 months and I have now been on Lustral for 3 months. Thank god for drugs.
As a first timer I really thought that the way I felt was how everyone felt. My anxiety levels were ridiculously high and constant. DH works in London (we live South Coast) so I was effectively a single parent all week. The days were soooo long and time went so slowly. I also lost loads of weight (am naturally slim anyway) and got complimented all the time. I would smile and say thanks, but I knew it was because I wasn't eating. There wasn't any time for me. Despite frequent notes in my read book about my anxiety about ds's health, and lots of tears each time I went to the clinic, nobody EVER sat down with me and asked me how I was feeling. Nobody did Edinburgh test. Eventually things got so bad (drove off in night - sat in car infront of brick wall for ages wanting to drive into it) that I demanded HV come to my house and talk to me.
I feel so sad that I lost the first months of my gorgeous boys life and can never get them back.
I am really angry that no health professional picked this up (or even tried to assess me).
I was talking to by best friend whose ds is 5 weeks about PND yesterday, and realised that I never had a 'good' day in all that time. Just slightly easier days when he would sleep.
Sorry this is long and .