Very worried about my cousin. What do people know about depression, anxiety and OCD?

[Aero]

I've had a phone call from my uncle tonight. Bit of background info.....
Anyone who knows me from here will know that last August my sister attempted to take her own life (she's recovering well for now). My uncle is a psychiatrist and has always wanted to do help in whatever way he can and keeps regular contact with my parents and now me.
So he calls now and again to just ask after her and us.
I've found out a while ago that his dd, my cousin, is also suffering depression, but until tonight, I really had no idea it was so bad and it's really bothering me. We were close as children, but due to physical distance and I guess just growing up and having our own lives, just never see each other anymore. He was just telling me about it tonight and it's clear that they as her parents are suffering greatly too. She has high anxiety and is afraid to be alone and also, it seems obsessive about certain things. He didn't go into great detail and I'm sure she might be embarrassed if she thought I knew, but I just wondered if anyone out there could shed some light on this type of disorder for me and if there is anything I could do to help (even from this distance). I feel that if I called her, the conversation could be strained, if my sis was anything to go by when she was so ill.
Is there anyone who goes through this type of illness from time to time and gets back to normal in between?
I just didn't want to pry too much with my uncle, but I'm really concerned for my cousin as I have always been very fond of her.

Hi honey, sorry to hear about this. Can't help am afraid but just giving a bit of far away support. Was just peeking in and saw you. Dh off to Kuwait early morning so will be around over next few days.

Ahhh - was looking for you earlier, but you weren't msning........
Dh just got back from LA tonight and have had a quiet week here on me todd.......

Yes, she lives up north and I think she's a fab person and just feel sad about this and wish I could do something. Not sure what though that wouldn't make her feel ????can't find the word, but same a sis felt about people knowing about her illness, you know?

watching a movie with dh! I know what you mean about losing touch with busy lives etc- it's only too easy to lose track of someone without meaning to. Partly the reason for meeting up with my cousin in April, cos I feel that we are leading such different lives it would be easy to slide away. Sorry not helping much. Am trying to think what would be appropriate.

Clearly the reason I'm coming to Glasgow is so's you don't forget who I am - lol.

dh is watching footy, although is struggling to stay awake. The jet-lag will thump him tomorrow.

who said that? lol

very funny..........ahem (clears throat loudly)!

Need to go tho bed as have to be up early to wave dh off. What a man'll do to avoid buying flowers for valentine's day

will think about things for you.xx

Thanks hunney.

one would hope he has them pre-ordered!!! Fat chance id he's anything like dh!

Chat soon x

bump - would appreciate if anyone has experience of this.

I have had problems from time to time (say 5 bad spates) with OCD and depression. Your cousin may not have OCD - sometimes obsessive thoughts can be part of depression. Hopefully given your uncle's job, your DD has been to the GP's and is getting treatment - I imagine treatment would be a combination of medication and behaviour therapy and/or counsellling. There isn't very much a relative can do to help - healing has to come from within I have found - but the most helpful things that I found were - people keeping in touch, and distractions such as trips to the cinema etc. I would give it a go calling her; she may be pleased for a bit of contact/distraction. If she is depressed she may not be good at expressing pleasure; i.e. she might sound miseable/as if she's not getting anything out of a phone call etc, even when she might be.

Just to give you a possible idea as to possible time scales for recovery, IME for my most recent bout of OCD (which was quite bad - partly exacerbated because I had difficulties in getting appropriate treatment/referrals from my GP) it took two or three months on medication for a significant improvement (say 50% improvement in symptoms), then about six months for an 80% improvement, then about 9 months to a year for a 90% improvement. That isn't as depressing as it sounds, as I sort of found a snowball effect - that once I started getting better, I started feeling better and better, and my enjoyment/anxiety levels were much better - even a 50% improvement in symptoms made an enormous difference to my quality of life.

Obviously everyone is so individual, and has different past experiences/responses to medication etc, that I wouldn't suggest there is any particular timescale to recovery - just thought it would be useful to give you an indication of my experiences.

Thanks MtoS. That's helpful. Yes, he said that some of her behaviour was obsessive (rather than OCD I guess, but more associated with the depression) - spending forever in the bathroom etc. I wonder if this is to do with self esteem.
I found it hard to take in that she really didn't want to go back home, meaning she'd be alone whilst her dh is working. He said it was very difficult to get her to go back home - a lot of crying and anxiety etc, but her parents live two hours from her and while my uncle is happy to do what he needs to and is in a fortunate position to be able to accommodate her needs, it's a four hour round trip each time just for the driving part, so not easy.
I just really feel for her and I guess am nervous to call, but I might give it a go. I haven't actually seen her since her wedding day about six years ago, but not for any other reason than just getting on with our own lives and never being in the area to visit.

oh gosh, sounds like a very difficult situation, not a straightforward thing to deal with at all. have you kept in touch by phone/e-mail over the years then?

No - not at all. Wouldn't say we'd grown apart, just rather got on with our own lives. I grew up in NI and she lived in this country, so we only met when they were visiting our grandparents, but were always good freinds. Grandparents both dead now and I live here in the SE, she still livs up north and there you have it - six years go past without us really noticing......so a call from me might throw her somewhat. Also, when we last saw each other, none of this was going on and I don't know if she knows I know iyswim.