Suspect DM has Cirrhosis due to Alcoholism

[KatiesKittens]

DM has been a heavy heavy drinker for past 20-30 years, drinking at least a bottle of gin/vodka per day. 7 years ago she suffered a heart attack and since then has really deteriorated. For the past 6 months she has had significant swelling in her abdomen and legs, it is now so bad she looks about 9 months pregnant, she frequently has bouts of vomiting and illness, has no energy, is always cold and is generally unwell. She makes no effort with her appearance, failing to wash etc. She finally went to GP on Friday who took blood tests and all she will tell us is that "It's something to do with my liver" and strenuously denies that she has Cirrhosis or that the GP even mentioned it. Does anyone know anything about Liver disease, or can anyone offer any advice?

My dad had cirrhosis. He was a heavy drinker (functioning alcoholic?), do
You know I'm really not sure. He liked a beer and that's all I remember. He wasn't your stereotypical alcoholic. However one day after a bit of a session he collapsed vomiting blood and was rushed to hospital with burst varisces (sp). Basically the veins in his oesophagus had become enlarged due to his liver not functioning properly and had burst. He could have bled to death, he was very lucky. That was when he was diagnosed with cirrhosis and told to stop drinking or he would die. He never touched a drop for eight years after that. Unfortunately the damage was pretty much done though and his liver disease caused all sorts of other nasty problems, the worst of which was oedema. He had to be admitted to hospital once a fortnight to be drained of all the fluid that built up on his stomach. It was pitiful.

He became slightly yellow, he itched all over, he was cold all the time too.

He ended up dying three years ago because of a blockage in his bowel. They refused to operate as he wouldn't be able to handle a ga so they pretty brutally told him sorry but we will just make you as comfortable as possible and that was that .

It does sound like your mil has a major problem I'm afraid.

Sorry Katies it does sound like your mother has alcoholic liver disease

Have you tried Al Anon It's support for families

Thanks Tan. Tooth, I think it was inevitable really, just really difficult when she will not even acknowledge it. She was more interested in moaning about the bruise she has been left with after the bloods were taken! Both my parents are alcoholics, but DM is seriously further down the road than my dad who is behaving quite well at the moment. Al Anon is something I've really thought about but maybe I should. I just don't know what to do when she wont tell me anything and she is fobbing my Dad off too, and I'm 200 miles away from them both.

I am sorry to hear your Mum is unwell.

My mum had liver disease but, sadly, we didn't find out until she was in intensive care and it was too late. Sadly, alcoholics tend to be very good at hiding the truth especially from those they love/love them. We did try to speak to her GP but she couldn't tell us anything due to patient confidentiality. I really wished I had pushed my mum harder to open up to me about the extent of her health problems. While I will never know if she would have told me the truth, at least I would have known I'd tried.

Sorry, I have ended up making my post all about me but what I really wanted to try to say is I wish I had done more to understand her illness, as it was, her GP had been telling her for months to tell her family how poorly she was and she didn't, no doubt not wanting to burden us which makes me feel very guilty.

The liver is an amazing organ and can carry on working for a long time but when it does give up it can happen extremely quickly. If there is any chance you can get your mum to open up to you about her health and prognosis and even reduce her drinking by a tiny amount, please try, it could make a difference. Thinking of you.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum Fanta. I phoned my dad yesterday and spoke to him about my suspicions to which he was totally shocked, I think he had convinced himself that it was another side effect of her heart condition. I also tried to speak to her about it but she is in total denial. I saw them both at the weekend but again she would not even discuss it and just diverted the conversation in another direction or got angry at my "interfering". Unfortunately, she just doesn't want to acknowledge the truth and is not prepared to discuss anything or reduce her drinking. I wish I could say she is doing this to protect us, but I suspect it is to protect herself. I.E. if I ignore it for long enough then it's not real and it will go away. It's so hard to feel so helpless.

Sounds very familiar. I think with my mum there was a certain element of "I have drunk heavily for years (and I mean heavily.....) and I'm still standing so the drs don't know what they are talking about". I think she genuinely thought she had years left even with the cirrhosis.

Sounds like the real obstacle is your mum's denial about her drinking/illness and until she accepts it, then there is the risk she won't give up. I found an unopened packet of tablets in my mums drawer afterwards which had been prescribed for people who are giving up alcohol, guess they help with the withdrawal symptoms. Could you mention them to your mum maybe, let her know there are drugs/support out there for her, offer to go to the GP with her? Or ring her GP and ask that she lets your mum know how terribly worried you are about her? For what it's worth, my dad beats himself up on an almost daily basis about not doing more even though he didn't have a particularly healthy relationship with drink (although does now).

I know it's hard and you feel like giving up and leaving them to it but I would give anything to have my mum here now. Let her know that you're always here for her and want to help. She might feel ashamed she has let herself get in such a mess by drinking and admitting that to people. Good luck x

Thanks Fanta for your kind words and advice, I really appreciate it. I rang DM this morning and her GP called her yesterday afternoon to give her the blood results. According to Mum, her liver is "better than they thought", although I don't know how well better is, but they have found cancer cells in her blood which they think is from her womb or overies so she has been referred for an emergency ultrasound scan. Have just been sitting in tears since I spoke to her, I don't want her to die, I don't want any of this to be true. :(

katiekittens I am so sorry about your mum

Thanks Jessica, just can't stop crying and don't have anyone to talk to. She hasn't told my sister yet, she is going to my parents house later this morning. Just don't know what to do with myself, I've known she has been battering her body for years and thought when her body finally caved I would be able to process it but I just feel absolutely gutted. :(

So Sorry to hear that they have detected cancer cells, must be a scary shock for you all. When is her scan? I don't think anything can prepare you for your mum becoming ill even after years of heavy drinking and I really hope the scan results are on your mum's side and this is the wake up call she needs about her health, even if it is awful for you all right now.

It sounds promising that her liver isn't as bad as they thought. If she stops drinking then she could turn her health around.

One thing that helped me get through the days my mum was in hospital was to take it an hour at a time, not think too far in advance, just being glad she was there at that moment and try and take in what each dr was saying as calmly as I could without thinking of too many what ifs. Perhaps you'll feel better when your sister knows more and you can b there for each other and lean on each other. Please post when you feel up to it xx

I'm so sorry to hear about you dm. My mums been heavily drinking for years and she still thinks we don't know about it. I've been there when she's had terrible binges and she can't remember a thing.
I have spoke to her about it but she gets very defensive and angry and makes me out to be the bad one.
My big sis tells me it ain't getting any better, I now live on the other side of the world so can't see it all the time now. I thought this was a blessing for myself after some of the horrors and states I've witnessed but it just worries me more.
I don't phone her any more in the eve uk because I cannot bear to hear the alcohol talking but saying that it's an all day wee swig here wee gulp there I believe.
I do not understand why this has happened to anyone and I feel for everyone going through this. My dh mum died fom the drink, well not the drink directly but it was part and parcel of the symptoms leading up to it.
I cannot believe either than I am replying to this post as we have all kept this sort of thing like a shame within the family, sheltering it as we don't want the world to look on my dm differently. But alas as the years have gone by she has changed dramatically due to this secret and hence the fact I am now a conscious drinker, never drink alone, only a glass of wine or a beer, no spirits, even banned them at my wedding coz I hate what they do as I thought the stronger the drink the worse the aftermath, but a drinks a drink and the outcomes the same.
I am still very scared to post this but I know she will never know its me it's just I feel like I'm betraying her somehow. I wish I could help her as I love my dm sooooo much but she needs to recognise what she is before help can work.
I know this post isn't about me katieskitten but the fact that you all have this to deal with made me cry hence my big secret post and am grateful for everyone's post. I do prey your dm is going to be ok and yes you must hang on in there with your sisters help and get your dm all the love, support and help you can x good luck missy x

Oh katie :( You poor thing. I am so sorry. This news is shocking and really hard to take right now. No one can make it go away but in the next few days you will get a clearer plan/information and can start making plans for her care. Doing something usually helps us all cope. x