How do I cope with worrying I may have cancer

[slipperandpjsmum]

I have been referred to the hospital for investigations. From seeing the GP to the appointment is just over a week, which has worried me!

I've been put on a cancer pathway, although the doctor said this does not mean anything more than the process of investigation.

I'm so worried. I try to put it out of my mind but it keeps creeping back. Last night I had a dream that I had cancer.

I haven't told anyone apart from my dh, didn't want to worry my dc. Can anyone offer any advice as to how to deal with it. I don't know if I should go into work or phone in sick, tell people, or keep it to myself.

Any advice and hand holding very welcome!

it's a horrible feeling and you're bound to keep thinking of it..the referral times are usually pretty quick for possible cancer so don't read anything into that (am speaking from a breast cancer point of view). There is a very good thread for those waiting for tests/results/treatment and the tamoxifen thread is fab for hand holding. Will be thinking of you x

slipper, I second what MAS says. Tamoxifen thread's there for people who have been diagnosed or are waiting for tests. We all get how scary it is and we love it when (quite often!) people are given the all clear. Come talk over there if it'll help.

Oh you poor thing. My Aunty was diagnosed with breast cancer a while back (she's better now) and the waiting to find out is such a horrendous part.

If it makes it easier for you-tell people. Some people like to have the support of people knowing, some would rather keep it quiet. It depends on how you feel, but I'm u sure your family and work will not mind if you tell them, even though they will of course worry. They'll want to be there for you if that's what you want. Just try and remember he likelihood of anything being wrong is small. I know it's easier said than done, but try an keep your mind occupied. I've got everything crossed for you. Take care of yourself!

For me, only dh and I knew, until I'd got something definite to tell people either way. No point in everyone worrying when it quite possibly could turn out not to be cancer at all.
I second what MAS says about the quick referral - don't read anything into that. The NHS has realised that there is a huge psychological effect on people 'wondering if' and it's normal to be seen within a few days.
'Tamoxifen' is a thread in General Health, where there are lots of ladies going through the whole procedure. Some are having treatment and others come and then go when they are waiting a diagnosis. Everyone there is very supportive and no question is too silly. They are great at hand holding.

I didn't tell anyone until I'd had the dx, and even then didn't plan on telling many people (my dm took it upon herself to tell everyone she knew )

Once I knew then I told my boss and let her tell everyone else at work. It was easier then, because she'd been through it with her DH, and made more allowances for me than I'd expected.

But at this stage you don't know for sure. Only you know whether you want people to know,and what help (or otherwise) they might be.

FWIW I 'knew' my symptoms meant cancer, even tho the GP said it wasn't, so the dx was just a confirmation. Once I knew for sure it didn't feel anywhere near as big a deal as when I've found out other people have it.

I think it might help to get a statistic about how many people like you are sent for these investigations only to find out it's something else (something more benign, anyway). That depends what your having done, but I would try to find those numbers. I bet it's >> 50% who get false alarms.

I agree Ragged - on the Tamoixfen thread (which is mainly breast cancer ladies, but anyone can go along for a hand hold) they often quote that only 1 in 10 lumps found are cancerous and then only 1 in 10 of them is in the 'you need to be worried about this' category.
I also agree with Sabriel, somehomw once I got a diagnosis, it didn't seem anywhere near such a big thing as when I'd heard of other peoples diagnoses.

If you have cancer, you already have it, you are just waiting for a diagnosis and that will lead to treatment, things will get better.

That is the worst thing that can happen, and it probably won't.

Truthfully? You won't feel better until you know.
If you haven't got cancer you will feel elated and euphoric, if you do, yes you will be upset but it is still better than UNCERTAINTY.
Receiving a cancer diagnosis in 2012 is much different to receiving it in any other point in history. MOST people survive.
No advice on how to cope just hope it goes quickly for you X

sassh and ilovedaintynuts are right - just hang in there - from my experience knowing what you're dealing with is so much easier than uncertainty.

Your posts made me cry - they are so lovely and supportive.

Thank you everyone who took the time to reply to my thread. I am still scared but don't feel so alone now.

You aren't alone - there are lots of us who have been there and who have come through the other side, and are still here . That in itself is encouraging, I hope.

You are so not alone. I was thinking a few months ago that we are all likely to go through this with someone close or ourselves, at some point in our lives. Thinking that you may have cancer, even before you know any outcome, is understandably very frightening.

My DH and I have had to face that fear. He recently had a mole removed - it was found to be cancerous, now he has had further tissue removed and we are waiting to see if that is clear or whether he will need a lymph biopsy. I can't believe it's happening to us at this time in our lives (we have 2 young DS's).

All I can say is that we have shared the news with friends, family and his work colleagues and that they have been wonderfully supportive - and that is a real comfort. Don't suffer in silence if you need to talk. My DH tried to go back to work after the diagnosis and just couldn't for a couple of days. They were very understanding and he's only been there a few months.

Wishing you all the best and know how hard it is waiting for referrals and test results. I am going to check out that Tamoxifen thread! xx

blondemumma you'd be more than welcome to join us on tamoxifen thread for some hand holding during this difficult time x

slipper I hope you're okay. Just wanted to say am still thinking of you. All the best for your appointment this week.

Waving to BackforGood. Nice to see you.

blondmumma, your poor DH. Poor you too. Must be scary. Definitely come say hi on Tamoxifen if you'd like to.