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Huge stomach nearly a year after giving birth, but is not Diastasis Recti. Any help/tips/reassurance? V unhappy

3 replies

Getbusywiththefizzy · 25/03/2012 15:07

Well, the title says it all. I had my baby nearly a year ago but my belly is still so huge that people presume I'm pg virtually every time I leave the house. At full-term, my waist measured 45" and it's now 40-41", so it's hardly gone down. I am currently a dress size 14 (and hoping to get back to my usual 10-12), but my stomach is a size 22, which means I can only fit in pg clothes, as the clothes that can fit around my huge belly are ridiculously oversized on the rest of me. I can't even wear spanx because of the same problem (too loose everywhere else to stay on!).

I have been checked several times and it's not a diastasis recti; HCPs just all agree that I'm 'very unlucky', because my muscles and skin have stretched so badly that they're buggered, basically. I can't make my stomach muscles contract any more, so I can't suck it in or do exercises. No-one can explain why they won't obey signals from my brain! The top half of my tum, up to my bust feels hard and domed, but the lower half is just a mass of sagging muscle and skin, which folds over like a huge thick apron. Sometimes when I wear dresses, the fabric gets caught up under the fold of my belly, which is so humiliating. I did put a lot of weight on during my pg, as was very ill and either in hospital or bed bound/house bound for the last 4-5 months, but I only have 2 stone left to lose and my GP agrees that my tum is vastly disproportionate to the rest of me and doesn't really understand why it's not gone down.

It's making me really depressed and self-conscious. Last week, I went to a new baby group and every single person I spoke to, without exception, commented on my 'bump'. I actually started crying after about the tenth person asked me when it was due. But I really do look heavily pg. Even my own friends and family who I only see infrequently, forget and do stuff like grab hold of my tum and ask me if I have a secret to tell them, etc. I have always been very into fashion and did have a decent figure and looking so disgusting is making me cry every day. I don't wear a single item I would wear if I had a choice and I look like Humpty Dumpty in everything too.
The worst thing of all about people presuming I'm pg is that I had a terrible pg with such drastic problems that I cannot have another child, so it is like a knife in my heart when people ask me how far gone I am, etc.

I'm still Bfing so can't diet and still have terrible SPD (which was the least of my pg problems, believe it or not), so exercising is also v difficult, although I go for a walk with baby every day,and eat sensibly. I don't drink and don't have a sweet tooth. As it's barely reduced so far, Dr doesn't think it will go down if I lose more weight anyway. I tried binding my belly but it did nothing. Am just wondering if anyone knows of any exercises or specialists or anything that helped them or others? Am getting desperately unhappy. Can't bear the thought of looking 6 months pg forever.

Sorry it's such an essay. I really needed a moan, sorry.

OP posts:
minniethemooch · 25/03/2012 16:15

I am not sure if I can be of any help but I really felt your unhappiness- plus answering bumps this up till someone comes along to help.
I just wonder if you would benefit from seeing a women's health physio. I know of a brilliant one in Oxford but don't know if this is anywhere near where you live. I had an issue with my stomach for a while after pregnancy and although I was told by docs that I did not have diastasis recti turns out I did and a large one! Intensive physio and pilates have given me back a normal stomach - it's not washboard but then it never was ! I would think that weak stomach muscles will have a knock on effect on your back and may be contributing to your spd problems.
I can let you have the number of my lady if you pm me - and if she is not in your area I am sure that she will be able to recommend someone. Also your GP can refer you to a women's health physio.
HTH Minniex

skandi1 · 25/03/2012 16:42

Even though it isn't diastisis recti you have stretched the rest of your muscles causing them to bow outwards. I had this along with DR and an enormous tum.

I saw a gyno consultant who told me the muscles with tighten up considerably about a month or so after you cease BF and the last hormones settle down. She was correct.

I would urge you to push for an app with a womans health physio. The small precise movements will help enormously.

After my first DC, I had DR, fat and flabby tum. I looked out of proportion with 45 inch tummy and the rest of me a size 14 so my hips were smaller than the tum.

I found physio to sort DR and tighten bowing muscles (and actually get them working again) solved a multitude of issues inc lower back pain as back is picking up all the work your stomach muscles are not doing. And dieting.

I found low carb good. I know you can't do that while bf but as soon as you stop bf you can low carb

As for skin. It's hard to say. I thought mine was very bad but it tightened up as I lost weight so actually I had mistaken flab for loose skin Blush. So you may find its similar for you. If not and you can afford some radio frequency treatment to tighten skin. It's supposed to be incredible.

I have had DC 8 months ago and DR again but only a small gap this time but lots of flab. Am doing dukan (low carb type) diet and lost a stone in 3 weeks and several inches from tummy so it is now almost a proportionate size to rest of me ie I can wear a 14 and do up the trouser and folk have stopped asking when I am due.

Sorry v long.

Sorry you are suffering. It's rubbish when every newspaper and mag has ladies in bikinis with flat tums about two weeks after birth Angry.

Fwiw when my first was 13 months we went to Maldives and I wore a bikini and looked normal (DH said great Grin ). So you will get there.

Getbusywiththefizzy · 25/03/2012 17:13

Thanks guys, those are great tips and reassurance. Minnie, I live in the North, so too far for the lady you mention, but will push to be seen by a woman's health physio. I still don't know if Dr was right about the DR. I can't feel any gaps or anything, but a physio would know better. The Dr just fobs me off. Skandi, is v interesting what you say about Bfing. I have wondered if things would improve when I give Bfing, but I've been confused as BFing has helped me lose weight quickly, so I didn't think it would play a factor in the huge tum thing. I thought women either lost weight or retained weight when Bfing, but am not too clued up on all that. Is v good to know the hormones can affect it so much - it gives me hope :) Although am not planning to give up until 18 months at least. Ho hum! It is good to know that other people have reduced big tums too, although I won't be wearing a bikini any time soon (I have dreadful stretchmarks!)!

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