GP Signed Me Off - What To Do

[SophieLeGiraffe]

Hello,

I work full time, I have a 13 mo, a have a lovely, helpful DH though he is all stressed and angsty and difficult to talk to at the moment. I exercise, I keep the house, we're in the middle of buying a new house. I am your average stressed out working Mum. Work has been really intense since before Christmas so I've been working non-stop, DH has been the same. It's got to a point where we're putting the baby to bed, then working for another 2-3 hours, we've no time to ourselves, no time for each other and no time for exercise / or we're too tired to exercise. Otherwise I make things as easy as possible, I work from home twice a week, I don't iron, I have a cleaner every two weeks and try to online shop. The washing pile is an endless problem though and I do have very high standards.

But... in the last few months I've started to feel a bit down and started to withdraw a bit. I feel hideous and fat and like it all packed on overnight. I stopped eating crap but doesn't feel like it's made much difference. I'm not myself at all, can't cope with small things like I usually would, don't really want to see anyone or do anything other than play with my baby.

Then two weeks ago I got some awful flu type thing and took two days off work, I was really poorly, could hardly move head and stomach ached, presumably as it's a weak spot from where I had emcs. I went back to work on Monday after probably doing too much at the weekend, felt pretty wobbly for a day or two then got conjunctivitis on the Weds, yay! Thursday I threw up twice at work, then pretty much collapsed on way to get baby from nursery. I had to call DH to come home to help me as I knew I couldn't deal with exhuberant baby on my own. I've been going to bed at 8/9pm at night just to cope but I'm still exhausted and I've still got an eye infection. I look awesome.

Went to GP today for routine apointment and basically just started blubbing and finally admitted all of the above, that actually I'm not coping at all and maybe I do feel a little bit down and no I haven't told anyone in RL. She suggested quite strongly that I have a week or so off and signed me off with "Viral flu" for ten days with instructions to spend some time on my own and some time with my baby and go back to see her in a week.

But now what do I do? I have a high stress boss and a job I'm trying to prove I can do just as well as before I had my baby. How can I just take all this time off? I've work coming out of my ears. Having time off isn't going to make all that go away and there is no one to push the work down to as we're extremely short-staffed (and no possibiity of hiring new people due to economic climate). I know my boss's health isn't my problem, I know the company being chronically short-staffed isn't my problem and is a contributing factor and I know as an impartial observer reading the above I'd be screaming "what is wrong with you woman!" at my computer. But realistically, what can and should I do in this situation? I work from home Wednesdays and my boss is on holiday so I haven't spoken to anyone about this yet. I'd appreciate any advice or personal experience anyone can give me. I just feel useless and pathetic and like I should be able to cope.

Well, it's entirely up to you what you do. You either take your doctors advice or you choose to ignore it. What's more important, your health or your work?

You need to take the time off.
You need to take the time off.
You need to take the time off.

Your GP hasn't signed you off for a lovely rest, she's signed you off because you are ill and need to start recovering.

I'm being stern because I've been exactly where you are, and I know how awful it feels to be trapped in that cycle of despair and to feel as if there's no way out.

The time off will give your body and mind a chance to start healing. It will also give you the opportunity to gain some perspective on how you want to change your life to avoid you being this ill long-term.

Right now you can't see the answers because you're ill, okay? But I promise, after a week of rest things will feel different.

Two more pieces of advice:

1. Don't go back to work without seeing your GP again first. You should feel better after a week off, but that's always not the same as being well enough to return. Your GP will be able to advise on what you need.
2. Please don't feel pathetic for not coping, okay? You're absolutely not alone. There will be a way through.

Take care and best wishes.

God my friend was in this situation. She also thought there was no way she could take a few days off work. She ended up having a total breakdown. Please, please don't be her. It was awful. Took much longer to recover from than if she had taken time off when first suggested. This isn't to underestimate the panic you feel. It's real. And I can really identify with it - I find it nearly impossible to take time off when I am sick. But the alternative is actually far, far worse believe me. Hope you start to feel better soon.

Thanks for the responses, I really appreciate it. I know I'd be advising a poster who wasn't me to take the doctor's advice and I really need to hear it from others. I'm not indispensible, I'm not and I know that. The company isn't going to go bust just because I take time off and my boss's health isn't my problem, my own health is. However I am really uncomfortable about having so much time off and how it will look on my record and how it might affect if, as I think I probably need to do, I need to look for a new job. I'm thinking of a compromise option where I have a few days off, spend some time relaxing, some with the baby and some working in order to try and get ahead of myself and so when I go back to the office I'm not completely overwhelmed.

So next steps are what? Get my work in order to ensure I can cope day to day. At the moment I've so much on I'm flitting from thing to thing with a couple of other things on my mind all at once. I'm so overwhelmed I find my brain packing in and I end up surfing MN or news sites. I need to ensure I concentrate on one thing at a time for an extended period, then move on to the next. Next. Let the small things slide, delegate. Next. Look for new job. I already talked to my manager about possibility of more resouce - big fat no. And finally, no more evening working jus to keep up. If it's a time critical project, fair enough but just to keep up is bananas.

I'm taking this seriously, it's a wake up call. I have a close friend who essentally had a break down too and she ended up being out of work for nearly a year, then after going back ended up on Anti-D's as she was sliding again. I don't want to go there, I saw what she went through and how she has to keep on top of herself constantly now so I need to read the warning signs and put a stop to it.

Does this make sense to anyone other than me? Or am I still not seeing wood for trees?

Take the time off work the doctor has given you.... Use it just for rest and baby time.... Not work! This is just a job, your body is for life, and it's far more important than anything else.

One period of illness on your record is not going to effect job hunting.... Anyone can get flu after all.

Take your own advice, stop now before you have a breakdown.