PND - Pointer please ......

[Crystaltips]

I am a Homestart Volunteer. I am about to meet my new family ....

It seems a rather desperate situation ... the history ....

• There are 4 kids
• She has had 7 pregnancies in 7 years
• The Mum stays in her Jammies all day
• Sometimes the kids don't go to school and the mum treats them like confidents - telling them how depressed she is
• Her husband is in the army and they live in the barracks
• SHe does not have any friends or family.
• AND she has PND ( not surprised )

I feel rather out of my depth - I want to do right by the family - but I am scared that I'll do the wrong thing. I don't feel equipped to deal with this - but really want to help.

Advice please. Thanks

What you have described is a desperate situation.

Have they or for that matter your good self heard of SSAFA? (Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen Families Association). They are a charity that can provide support and assistance to those currently serving (or have left) the forces.

APNI are also good and may be helpful to the mum.
Will find their websites for you to have a look at.

www.apni.org

www.ssafa.org.uk

Yup Saffa are involved and she has an emergency appointment with a psychiatrist.

I have just been told to go in there and act as a friend - to be a sounding board - so that she pours out all her woes to me and not the kids.

Apparently she's not the typical depressed mother as the kids are well dressed and the house is clean and tidy ... ( that was their label not mine )

I think that for starters, until you get a real feel for this woman and her family, the best thing you can do is just listen to her. If she has no friends or family and is using her children as confidantes then having someone just to listen will help both her and her children.

If they live in barracks then there will be other Army wives around her, and eventually you may be able to persuade her to get involved with some of the other wives.

Is her PND being treated? If she stays in her pyjamas all day and doesn't get out then it's either not being treated or the treatment isn't working. Maybe you could gently encourage her to see her GP for some counselling or some ads if not. If she's not keen on seeing the GP then maybe you could organise the HV to come and see her.

Really I think the best thing you can do is be there as a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on - take some of the pressure off her and save the children from having to listen to it.

Would agree with just listening to begin with till you get to know them all better.

Am glad to read that SSAFA are involved also, they do good works with service families.

Any advice on PND specifically ??

bump

I think SSAFA quite often refer to HS.

How old are the children? They should have a HIVE in the barracks - they can give information on the M+T groups etc that go on in the area. It would be good if she could make friends with the other wives, as they will understand what she is going through. Maybe you could go to one of the groups with her if she's worried about going alone?

Is the DH at home? If things are really dire, they can usually get them posted back for a while.

You might get more advice on PND on the depression forum?

It's hard to give advice about PND specifically because it's different for every person, and there are many different levels from the very mild to the extremely severe. It depends where she is on that scale and how it is effecting her, and really you won't know until you've met her.

There's some information here from the Association for Post Natal Illness which you might find useful if you want to know more about how PND can affect people.

Thanks all