What do relatives do when a loved one is ihaving major surgery?

[HauntedLittleLunatic]

I know that tv shows portray a tense group of relatives room to yourself with a 'theatre nurse' coming out regularly to update family. And then at the end the surgeon comes to give a summary at the end.

How close to reality is this? My steodad is having a 6hr + op tomorrow. Should we just stay home? Should we sit at hospital to catch any updates. Is it worth going to see him after? I assume he will be kept unconscious for a good few hours afterwards (nobody has really told ius but then my dm hasn't really asked)

Drink endless cups of tea/coffee and try to eat breakfast. Never easy - and never had 6+ hours to kill.

Hope it goes well.

My Nana has just had (successful) quad heart bypass surgery. I wasn't there, but I gather that they will send you away and tell you ring after x time. I don't suppose they will keep popping out to update you - they'd have to scrub back in each time I think.

The nurses on the wad will tell you when to expect them back on the ward from recovery. When they eventually do get back up, its another hour or so until they are fully awake (depending on lots of factors of course). I have found (with my DH and my Dad, who have both had big ops in the last year), that its a comfort for them to have you there as they are feelling realy rough/in discomfort. Don't expect to see a surgeon until rounds the next morning. Again, the nurses will tell you a rough time to be there if you have questions.

on the ward obv not wad!

When DH had major surgery (6 hours) I saw him go down, then I spent the day with a friend who I hadn't see for a long time, watching her paint. It certainly helped to take my mind off things, as we had lots to catch up on.

No one else came to the hospital with me when he came round. He didn't really need to see anyone else and it was necessary.

Hope everything goes well.

Thanks for that. Will try and go through before he goes down and go back when we expect him to come back.

We are confused what happens afterwards. Was supposed to have this op last week and was told itu after. Today he was adament he was going back to ward after cos they have told him he will be going back there and so can leave belongings. Does this not mean he will ultimately end up back there but may not necessarily be straight away. Confusing messages.

I suppose it will depend on whether or not he needs intensive care. Also on how the op went. I wouldn't worry about his belongings the hosp will look after them and if he does end up on itu they will give most of his belongings to his family until he needs them. The patients on itu don't really need any of their own stuff.

If it is a heart operation, then he will go to ICU after the operation, and if all is well will stay there for 24-48 hours. In ICU, he will be encouraged to mobilise when he gets up the next day. They will have him sitting in a chair for some of the day, which aids breathing and reduces the risk of clots. When he is ready to leave ICU, he will either go to the normal ward or a step down ward depending on the hospital protocols.

I would stay at home during the operation. Once the op is over, the surgeon will call the next of kin and say how things have gone. Six hours is a long time to be in a hospital waiting.

I was the person having the heart operation, so I know this second hand. I was told to leave my belongings in the main ward too. My washbag went to ICU, but I didn't need anything else.

I had an 8 hr plus operation and my mum, dad and husband were with me and went shopping in Oxford and had breakfast and lunch out etc when I had my surgery. They were back waiting for me when I came out of surgery and I very briefly remember waking up and saying hello to them as I came round. My husband was allowed to stay in a room next to intensive care that night and my mum and dad returned to London. My husband was woken up as I had internal bleeding and had to be rushed back to surgery so he was with me when I went to theatre and my mum and dad were told to come straight back - they had just walked in the door in London! I did really appreciate having them there for me when I first came round and I do remember it. I hope the operation goes well. They weren't contacted in the day during the surgery and were advised to leave the hospital to try and pass some time.

Thanks. We weren't worried about his belongings. I was just using that to articulate the way that some things have been implied not told.

It is a major spinal procedure so maybe he won't need itu then, maybe he will. We are just getting such mixed messages and are confused...