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Original poster

Episiotomy

30 replies

Ouch · 15/11/2001 11:41

I imagine that this is a bit of a delicate subject, and I use the term wisely. I would really like to know how quickly others have recovered after having an episiotomy. I had my first baby 9 months ago. I ended up having forceps - they had to turn him as he got stuck with his head sideways whilst he was still quite high up. Needless to say, this involved a "generous" episiotomy, they told me that this type of forceps (kieland's) are bigger than others and not curved so they need a lot of room - arghh!

Anyway, basically, it's healed a bit wonky but generally ok. However, it is still really quite sore around the scar, sex is very uncomfortable and doesn't seem to be getting easier with time. I know scars can be re-done but I wouldn't consider doing anything yet as I am hoping to have a 2nd child. Does it usually take this long to settle down, will I start to feel normal again soon? Appologies if this is a bit graphic but I would really appreciate any thoughts, thanks.

OP posts:

Jessi · 15/11/2001 12:47

Ouch, in my experience it can take about a year for the scar to heal. I had a horrid episiotomy too, the stiches were too tight and then the midwife loosened them, only for the whole lot to come apart. I was advised to just leave it and after the next baby have it repaired then...fun fun fun!!! It took ages to heal, weeks on a rubber ring and unable to walk properly and sex was very uncomfortable for months. However, it does get better and it is amazing how such a delicate area can repair itself in time.You will feel normal again soon, but unfortunatley not quite like you were before!

Bugsy · 15/11/2001 13:28

Hi Ouch, like you I ended up with forceps, had an episiotomy & tore too. I was incredibly sore and my stiches were pulled very tight. We didn't try to have sex until 5 months afterwards and it hurt me so much that we didn't try again for another 2 months. Even at 7 months, I found it an uncomfortable process rather than something pleasurable.
I went to my doctor because of the discomfort & she had a prod around and said that there was still some scar tissue healing internally. She suggested doing some internal massage to help the scar tissue breakdown. I reckoned sex was probably similar and did find that eventually things got more comfortable to the point where it even became enjoyable again!
So, you're not alone. It may be worth going to see your doctor, if nothing else just to reassure you.
I would also recommend a few glasses of wine to help you and your muscles relax. There is nothing less likely to put you in the mood than anticipating something painful.
Good luck

Chanelno5 · 15/11/2001 13:34

I had episiotomy for no.1, 2nd degree tear and stitches for no.2 and another episiotomy (otherside, of course!) for no.3. - my nethers now resemble a patchwork quilt, nice eh! I agree with what Jessi says, it does take a suprisingly long time for things to feel less uncomfortable in this department, and they never do feel exactly as they were before. I don't think that my first episiotomy was sewn up very well, but did feel slightly easier after no.2. baby - perhaps because everything was even saggier and more stretched. The episiotomy for no.3. was sewn up really well by a doctor (good-looking, young hunk, so very embarrassing at the time!) and hasn't given me as much trouble as no.1, suprisingly enough. Wait until you have had no.2, as it's likely that you may need stitches again, and if they go down the old scarline, it will be redone anyway (emphasise that you have had problems with the old one, and they might take extra special care!). In the meantime, as sex is painful (I have had this problem too, by the way) at the risk of sounding like sexpert good, old Dr. Ruth, try using KY jelly and just go gingerly!

Selja · 15/11/2001 18:56

I was beginning to feel I was odd to feel off about sex and everything. I had an episiotomy and quite frankly I found the stitching up far more stressful and traumatic than the actual giving birth. They took nearly two hours to stitch me because they kept undoing the stitches as they felt they wouldn't heal right. The first time I felt brave enough to get a mirror and look I was horrified and I'm sure its psychologically scarred me. A friend of mine eventually got the doctor to recommend she was re-done and said it was worth it. It took me nearly a year to 'get over it' and even now, if I think about it, I have difficulties in feeling 'normal'. I find it hard to tell pregnant friends that the giving birth was great it was just the stitches as I don't want to give them a complex about it. Everyone I've spoken with at my NCT groups have taken time to get over having an episiotomy so you're definitely not alone. If I'm honest I still feel a bit uncomfortable about the sex part but I'm not sure if that's the psychological bit or reality. I'm so glad someone else feels the same way as I'm sure it will aid my 'recovery'. One bit of advice I would give is don't look down there!!

Candy · 15/11/2001 19:56

Totally agree with Selja re: not looking - I did and it freaked me out completely; this was after the midwife described me as "ooh yes, you're the lady with the pucker" ! mmm! I would recommend a warm bath with lavender oil as often as you possibly can and, gross as it sounds, drying with a cool hairdryer rather than a towel (honest it works!). Mine took about a year to feel "normal" again - I'm really glad you posted this thread Ouch as I felt like a freak for ages!

Pupuce · 15/11/2001 21:23

Candy - I also had an episiotomy but my experience isn't as bad (maybe I was sticthed up better who knows ?)
I used the hair dryer but the midwife advised me against it because it would dry the skin...
I used Calendula lotion on the wound at the beginning, obviously you are past that stage but worth remembering if this happens again. I padded some lotion (mixed with water) on the wound about twice a day for a week.
Also - if you haven't tried - KY lubricating Jelly my help for sex... it did with me. I had to have my smear test 3 months after my delivery and I found the test very painful, this is when the nurse suggested this.

Pupuce · 15/11/2001 21:24

Candy - I also had an episiotomy but my experience isn't as bad (maybe I was sticthed up better who knows ?)
I used the hair dryer but the midwife advised me against it because it would dry the skin...
I used Calendula lotion on the wound at the beginning, obviously you are past that stage but worth remembering if this happens again. I padded some lotion (mixed with water) on the wound about twice a day for a week.
Also - if you haven't tried - KY lubricating Jelly might help for sex... it did with me. I had to have my smear test 3 months after my delivery and I found the test very painful, this is when the nurse suggested this.

Wendym · 16/11/2001 11:16

Mine took a long time to heal too. I also have a friend who was still having problems years after the birth and is waiting for an operation she hopes will sort it out. If you can reach the scar try some vitamin E oil on it- you can break open capsules if necessary.

Original poster

Ouch · 16/11/2001 12:12

I'm glad I posted this messgae too, thank you for your replies. I've already had a look I'm afraid, but only after 6 months - not sure whether I'd recommend it or not. Seeing how long the scar actually was did make me think it would take a while to settle down. It's just that it's impossible for me not to focus on it during sex, especially as it's so sore. Anyway, it sounds like it will get better and, in the meantime, the wine is in the fridge!

OP posts:

Enid · 16/11/2001 12:37

I really recommend lavender oil, even at this stage, its brilliant for speeding up healing. Also arnica pills, as it is possible that there might be some deep residual bruising too.

I clearly remember my midwife having a look at my stitches a week after I'd given birth, tutting and saying 'now, that looks a bit brutal'. If anything was guaranteed to give me a complex, that was!

Bossykate · 16/11/2001 17:40

another vote for lavender oil. best of luck, ouch.

Honeybunnie · 26/04/2004 20:37

I didn't know where to put this message so I decided to put it here...here goes.

My 1st baby was a natural birth with 1st and 2nd degree tear and stitches afterwards, no episiotomy. Sex was ok after 5 months after the birth.

My 2nd baby was a natural birth with 1st and 2nd degree tear, but no stitches afterwards, the nurse said it heals better so I listened to her. 5 months later, sex is painful. I don't think I have healed together iykwim.

Can any thing be done to get it to heal together? And make sex feel not painful?

DrummingBunny · 28/04/2004 00:25

So glad to have found this thread! Was just about to start a new one as I am really upset after two agonising attempts at sex with my dh. ds is almost 4 months. I had a second degree episiotomy and stitches. The pain is very sharp, excatly where the scar is which terrifies me. Haven't tried KY yet. Luckily dh very nice about it, but I hope it gets better soon.

prettycandles · 28/04/2004 00:44

If there is pain, go to your GP and get your perineum checked. Sometimes it may well be a matter of time to heal fully, and 'practice' - with the help of a glass or two of wine perhaps . On the other hand, if there is a problem with the healing, or the way you were repaired, it can often be fixed and there is no need for you to be in pain.

DrummingBunny · 28/04/2004 01:37

Thanks pc - you are right, and whether it's just a matter of healing time or not, it will put my mind at rest. Glad to hear others have experienced this too, always helps somehow

DrummingBunny · 28/04/2004 01:39

PS: Good luck Ouch!

DrummingBunny · 28/04/2004 01:44

Ooops, just seen Ouch's post was 2001!!! Perhaps we can have an update if she is still around? HoneyBunnie - perhaps the GP advice is good for you too?

Pook · 28/04/2004 19:47

Hi there

Sex was also very painful for me after dd's birth - basically was stitched too tight.
DD is now 9 months old and I've just had an episiotomy and restitching under a local (though you can have a general and I think I probably would if I had chance again and wasn't b/feeding because I'm a complete wuss). It already seems much better than before and first attempt was much more comfortable - not like it used to be, but better than post-natally, IYSWIM.
I did think about waiting for second child, hoping it could be sorted out after the birth. But realised that was so uncomfortable that the chances of a second child were nil!
See your GP and ask for a referral to a gynaecologist for assessment, if the problem persists. I also know mums who didn;t have any stitches, or if they did they healed well, (and even a friend who had a c-section), who still found sex painful.

Pook · 28/04/2004 21:42

That should have been a !

DrummingBunny · 28/04/2004 22:06

Thanks for that post Pook - very informative, you were really brave to contemplate having a second episiotomy at all, definitely not a wuss!

Hope it is all sorted, maybe we should get our dps to watch more closely next time while the stitching is taking place...

Elvis · 29/04/2004 00:37

Glad to have found this thread.

After ds1 I had an episiotomy.

Had ds3 2 months ago. I had a 2nd degree tear along the scar I already had. Still very uncomfortable, although have attempted having sex.

As I thought everything should be healed by 6 weeks, I'm glad I'm not the only one having problems.

TW · 30/04/2004 23:41

I wonder if it is the episiotomy that causes problems or simply the stitches. After ds1 (no episiotomy) I also had a very sharp pain that prevented any degree of penetration. My GP reffered me to a gynae who "froze" off a little mushroom shape "bit" - it was just the way I/my stitches had healed - a sticking up bit of skin, but I suppose there are nerve-endings involved or something. When I went back to see him he was expecting to have to knock it off, having weakened it with the freezing, but in fact it had fallen off itself and all was well. I had no problem with dd or ds2, despite endless stitches. I do think these problems are v common though and v easy to sort out, so see your GP.

pollyanna · 01/05/2004 01:04

I had this problem after ds was born (second degree tear and painful sex afterwards). After 8 months I went to the doctor and was told basically that I would have to put up with it. I was very upset about this. It did get slightly better, but only got 100% better when I had dd1, tore again and was restitched. There was no pain at all after she was born. I don't think it is normal to feel pain months after the baby is born.

So I would advise going to your doctor and, unlike me, pushing for the damage to be repaired - I was really shocked that I was told that I would have to put up with it - having a second baby is quite a drastic step to take when I'm sure a simple operation could sort the problem out.

springmum · 01/05/2004 08:17

glad I've found this thread and it's not only me that's having sex trouble - it's 5 in the morning and not been able to sleep after another failed attempt..... I didn't have an episiotomy (emergency c section birth after lots of pushing) but think I'm suffering from prolapse - has anyone else out there experienced this? like there is some kind of blockage??????

romanee · 01/05/2004 18:34

I had a few stitches after birth and was really fed-up when sex had not got any less painful after 6 months. So I swallowed my pride (or what was left of it after the indignities of childbirth) and saw my GP who referred me to a Consultant. I had to have what is called in the trade as a "Fentons Repair" which was a quick procedure under general anaes. to remove some scar tissue that was restricting access. Basically it meant a cut and a few more stitches which was fine and definately worth it. My feeling is that there are MANY women who are told to just grin and bear it. I don't think that is acceptable. I have no pain now - hurrah!

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