was this right...what Dr did before appendics op

[bkgirl]

Hello, this probably sounds mad but it's something that has bugged me for years. I am now 44 but when I was about 9 years old I was taken in to hospital for an appendics op. But before it happened the Dr who did the op came to my bed, pulled the curtains around and there was no one else there. He then pulled down my pants and put what I think was his thumb up and into my vagina....all without saying a word. He then left and I sobbed my heart out. The operation was the next day.It still gives me nightmares to this day and to be frank I didn't know there was a "hole" there, I was absolutely petrified.

Up to now I always thought it was cruel but necessary medically. Now I am wondering was it right. The mans manner at the very least was dreadful.

Then he did the op and left me with a scar at least 15cms long. Other doctors who have seen it since was expressed shock and horror and shook their heads when I told them it was just for an appendics op.

Anyway, if anyone knows that would be great.

HI, I am not a doctor but I can't believe that what happened to you was related to having your appendix out. It sounds quite awful and devastating. Have you ever asked or spoken to anyone else about this? The fact that it has bothered you (understandably) for all this time sounds like it was incredibly traumatic and I am very sorry you had this experience.

What do you want to do about this, if anything?

I think an internal examination is part of the assessment process for a threatened appendix. I realise that this will sound entirely frivolous as a source of medical information, but i remember this being a storyline on a medical tv drama years ago.

I agree that the way it was administered sounds dreadful, though - very traumatic for you, especially at such a young age.

Thanks HarlotoTara, tbh I told my dad some years ago who knew the man and like him, he said the Dr must have being doing a medical thing. I know he is long retired so I suppose he couldn't be terrifying other little girls.
I had a great uncle who abused myself and my cousins when we were about 4, he died before any of us grew up to take him on so I have been through the mental turmoil and reconciled myself to it - if you know what I mean.

This is different because I don't know still what happened. I just want the bad dreams to stop about it and I think they would if I knew one way or the other that it was a medical procedure or not. If I found out it was, no I don't think I would do much about it unless I heard he was near children. Then I would feel guilty and probably try and track down a few other girls who had their appendix out by him and see if they went through the same.

One thing, my daughter is nine. If she were in hospital I would insist I was there and if not me a nurse at all times when she was being examined. Now I am bleeding crying....stupid really, its long gone even though the scar reminds me.

Nowimreading that is such a relief, I will just now think he was a silly man who had the most dreadful bedside manner! He probably then did do it the same way to lots of girls as part of doing his job, I wonder if they remember it like me? Good, glad I can put it away in my mind. (((((((Thank you))))))))).

I do believe that a vaginal examination is part of the procedure for evaluating if it is your appendix causing the abdominal pain but I would suggest you have a chat with your GP about it as to be honest, I do not think you will be able to fully accept this until you have spoken to someone medically qualified. I agree the manner in which he did this was extremely wrong and unfortunately it has only been more recently (approx 10 years or so) that a chaperone has been required for any medical examination.

He sounds a horrible man and I am glad to hear he has retired.

I had my appendix out when I was 10, I don't remember having a vaginal examination but they did do a rectal one. This was just a finger up there but I was given no explanation or warning and remember feeling mortified and very shocked.

I agree that you need to speak to your gp about this, maybe accessing your medical records from that period will explain exactly what was done?

Thanks Cinders, you are right and I am really glad to hear about the chaperone thing. Its safer for everyone involved including the medical staff. I did think about asking my gp before but it is embarassing (the internet is wonderful that way) and I wouldn't want him/her to think I was one of these people looking for a claim. This town is full of people like that, I wouldn't like to be labelled as one! I will take a deep breath and ask next time I am in,especially if I get the lady doctor.

Crikey Ohthis maybe thats is what he did! See I don't know I was just shocked it went up. If you had it done too then it must be right though I am sorry you were mortified too.

I remember having the same but it was a rectal one, GP was a family friend and done in front of my mum so have no reason to believe it was anything untoward. I remember being a bit perplexed but it was explained very clearly before hand.

It used to be standard to do a rectal exam when diagnosing an appendicitis, its not done in children anymore although i'm not sure about adults. It sounds like the doctor had no bedside manner at all, these days nurses chaperone all examinations of children if no parent is present. I hope that puts your mind at rest a little.x

I had a rectal exam When I had appendicitis at 19. That was a shocker! My mum was there. Hope this helps.

I would say this might depend when you had the op. I had mine in 1965 at the age of nine. I remember distinctly the consultant coming to our house (those were the days) and giving me a rectal exam. I have also just measured my scar and it is a good 10cm.

Are you sure it wasn't a rectal exam?

D

You might still get a rectal examination, particularly if it's an atypical presentation.

What you also will get - and OP should have got - is an explanation and a chaperone.

Thank you, you have no idea what this means - I am now convinced it was totally fine. An explanation and chaperone would have been just brilliant but I guess it was years ago and we are all more aware.

I know I will sleep tonight and really appreciate everyones time for responding. xx

Poor poor you

I had my appendix out at 12-13 & remember a rectal examination. It's quite possible that it would have felt funny in the vaginal area, because they are separated by a thin wall of flesh/muscle.

I hope you can have a really peaceful night's sleep.

I had a rectal examination to confirm appendicitis aged 14. At the time I was in excruciating pain so (almost) past caring but weeks later began to feel very ashamed and embarassed. I never went to see that GP again. My Mum was present and I remember feeling angry with her afterwards that she let him do it.

So whilst I can see that this is probably standard procedure, I can empathise with some of your feelings. I certainly felt confused, violated and shamed by the experience.