My poor Dad's hands are swollen and painful, Kidneys ??? or Rheumatoid arthritis ??? ???

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He has quite knackered kidneys due to high blood pressure and diabetes I suppose. He is under the care of the consultant and the situation is being managed well.

He has recently developed these swollen hands and fingers, they are very painful. The swelling varies from day to day, and can just be in one hand or the other or both. The DP has treated him for gout, but is going to do a blood test tomorrow and re asses him because he hasn't really responded to the treatment.

If it was due to his kidneys, would it be equal in both hands, or can it fluctuate, and also would it be painful, or just oedematous ?

If anyone has any experience of this, I would be grateful of your thoughts...

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I hear you OP. My dad has cancer on both his kidneys now, which stems from having bladder cancer. All his joints (not just his hands) are extremely painful, but I'm not sure whether that's the osteoarthiritis or whether the decreased kidney function is causing the swelling. It could be a combination of both.

How are you bearing up, OP?? I know that it's hard to see our beloved parents suffer, but unfortunately the only thing we can do is support them and do what we can for them.

Aww I'm sorry to hear about your Dad

It is hard to watch him suffer, but in my Dad's case it is mostly self inflicted due to smoking, eating fat drinking too many pints. He just won't tow the line.

He went to doctors and he says it is Rheumatoid arthritis. this is not good, but not as sinister as the kidneys.

Saw him this morning and he's still happy and not fussed about it. The lesser functioning kidney is being removed sometime in the near future, although both kidneys have cancer in them, just one is less ridden than the other.

That was the double whammy though because my beloved MIL is suspected of having cancer of the pancreas, but they can't do a biopsy as she wouldn't make it through. The consultant even told my DH that it was a massive operation for him and he's a fit, healthy 43yo, so that says it all really. She had an endoscope down her throat, yesterday, to fit a stent in the bile duct/tract because the tumour has wrapped itself round the duct and squeezed it tight, which was causing a build up of bile, and so causing her jaundice. They had to do that within 2 weeks of her being admitted due to complications from the jaundice itself. We're hoping she'll be out this weekend or on Monday sometime.

All these things seem to happen in 3's. I bet it's the washing machine to break next .

How are you today OP? How is your dad bearing up? Are you looking after yourself as well?

I think the worst thing we could do is too much for them. I would encourage my dad to be as independent as possible because if you do too much for them, they then become more and more dependent on you, and that is a lot to take on, more so if you have kids to see to as well. I'm lucky that my MIL and Dad are fiercely independent and will do as much for themselves as they realistically can. The good thing is that my MIL may well have to come and live with us, which means that we could keep a better eye on her.

Updating things here as my DH has come home from seeing MIL. She is being shifted to another hospital to possibly remove the tumour, DH has basically said that they wouldn't be tranferring her unless they were sure they could remove the tumour, so that in itself is heartening news.

How about you OP? I guess your dad has his good and bad days. Good when he can do more things, and bad when he can barely move and is in pain.

You have a lot on your plate avenged its so hard isn't it.

My Dad's hands are very swollen, but it flares up and down every few hours. My Mum is being a bit gloom and doom, whereas I am just pleased it is rheumatoid arthritis and not the dreaded kidneys.

You are going through a lot worse, and very frightening upsetting stuff. Sounds like your Husband is lovely so you will support each other.

How old is your Dad and MIL ?

My Dad is 68

My Dad is 70 and my MIL is 77. I'm taking it all in my stride . It's a bit confusing because one minute you think the worst is going to happen and then comes that wee ray of light with some good news (in your case it was the rheumatoid arthritis and not something more serious, thank goodness).

How are you coping OP? Are you looking after yourself? I hope you are. You'll need a lot of good health and strength to deal with the coming years as your Dad will be able to do less and less because of the arthritis. I suspect your mum may be leaning on you more and more for moral support. If you want to have a rant, I'll be here and will be all ears . I'll be travelling to see MIL tomorrow, so I'll be away until just before teatime, but I'll be back on MN after that. I will probably be on first thing in the morning for a few minutes, but that'll be just enough time to ask how you are.