Returning to work after cancer

[NeenooksDH]

This is my first time on Mumsnet, and following discussion with DW, who is a massive advocate of the site, she has recommended coming on here to discuss my work struggles.

9 months ago I was diagnosed with Mouth cancer and within two weeks was in hospital having 13 hours of surgery to remove the tumour and reconstruct my tongue using a section of my forearm. Two months later a tumour was discovered in my lower trachea and I went in for investigative surgery; thankfully the tumour turned out to be benign.

I worked as an instructor in an Outdoor Centre and because of the effects of the surgery and treatment cannot return to my previous job role. My employer has been very good and is trying to find something else for me to do, as the law states they have to make' reasonable adjustments' to my job to allow me to return to my job.

I am struggling though with just the most basic of tasks at work that are being put my way. This is due in part to the intense fatigue I experience after even the most basic of tasks. The other reason I am struggling is that I am surrounded by my friends and peers who are still going out and doing the job I used to do; I feel like a spare part, waiting for jobs that are a bit of a fudge.

I am waking dreading going to work, I am starting to feel really down and as though no one understands; everything seems so trivial after the cancer.

I am the main wage earner and I worry about the cancer returning, having no sick leave left and not being able to pay the mortgage.

I have been told the fatigue will get better but the physical impact of the treatment wont change and is this time for me to change career direction?

Reading this back it sounds like a real whinge-it is not me at all but I am struggling and wondered if anyone else has been through anything similar and has any pearls of wisdom.

Thank you

Hi,

I don't have any 'pearls of wisdom' to offer unfortunately. You don't say how long you have been back at work, whether part-time/full time, but I do think you are being very hard on yourself.

You have had major surgery and trauma and you are certainly not whinging!!! Far from it - I think you sound incredibly brave and need to remind yourself of what you have achieved.

Is there a HR department you can go to for advice?

I would imagine you are not the only person to face these concerns in this situation, maybe there is a helpline/support group that could help.

Wish I could offer more advice but sure there will be someone along soon that has much more practical advice/experience to offer.

Good Luck.

hello - am very sorry to read of your cancer - it's a bugger of a disease,that's for sure- would you like to come and join us on the tamoxifen thread - we are a group who've all been diagnosed with cancer (mostly breast,but other cancers too) and are very supportive of one another in all aspects- emotional,physical,work ,family etc- you'd be more than welcome I promise...
here it is - hope to see you there

Thank you for your kind words. I have been back at work since 3rd January this year on full time. Last week the Boss called me in and said he was moving me to four days a week as I was struggling with five days and he was taking all responsibility away from me until I was better. The thing is I am better in my head and I just want to be 'normal', otherwise I feel like this perennial cancer patient - I want to move on with my life whatever that means; I accept that things will not be the same again, I just need to get excited about the next phase. (I am, for anyone wondering, the happiest man alive to be in remission).