AIBU to feel quite panicky....

[Bingdweller]

First of all, I'm really not looking for sympathy - just to share experience I suppose!

I was diagnosed with a stage 2 malignant melanoma on my arm a few days before christmas. I has since been treated with surgery and I got the all-clear a couple of weeks ago. Rationally, I know I have been really lucky and have avoided more serious treatments such as chemo or radiotherapy however I seem to feel quite anxious about other moles I have.

I'm covered in dozens of them and they really don't look any different to the one which was cancer. I'm checking myself all the time and am convinced I have more suspicious ones. The NHS have been amazing and I will have regular 3 monthly follow-ups for a few years. I just can't shake this feeling that "I have got away with it this time".

DH works away 6 weeks at a time (offshore) and I have 2 pre-schoolers. I feel i should just be getting on with things but it all seems so unresolved.....

Should I just pull myself together, how do I do this? I should add that on a day to day basis I'm coping great, it's just lurking at the back of my mind!

I am not sure how to help but I don't think YABU to feel like that.

Can you get some counselling or something? Maybe one of the cancer charities could provide you with some supprort as I am sure what you are feeling is not uncommon.

YANBU- I would fall to bits.

My DH has a lot of moles, someone once told him to photograph any ones he felt were 'suspicious' so you can keep an eye on them if they change.

I am sorry you are going through this bingdweller.

Well ofcourse you are worried! You are a very brave woman IMO to be coping so well. I think numbertakers idea is great as long as you don't think you will obsess over the pictures, Good for your doctors too.

Speak to your doctor on your next check up and tell them how you feel as they will give you some comfort and send you in the right direction.

If all else fails you always have us here on MN to talk about your fears with! :)

my mum has got away with it 4 times and I am worried sick. she has to go to check ups to and anything suspicious gets treated. one was life threatening, not because of the cancer but because of its position over a vein. it scares the hell out of me and it is not me going through it.

yanbu. sometimes I think it is worse after, when you have time to think of the what ifs, rather than during treatment when you are concentrating on treatment.

Thanks all, I'm trying to keep calm and not turn into a paranoid wreck! I know it's early days and I do have the safety net of the regular appointments - I just need to stop getting the mirror out etc. and obsessing!

Pointyshoes, I did get medical photography done at the 1st operation which pretty much covered everything so I'm hoping to see the consultant in April to go over the 3 or 4which worry me most.

Thanks for listening folks, don't want to burden DH by satellite phone and e-mail, he's got enough to worry about being away from us with all of this going on. I will speak with him when he gets back though - he's always the calming voice of reason!