Any one want to help me make a list of questions for the consultant tomorrow?

[gigglepin]

Its for DH to ask.
MIL possibly (definitely) has melanoma in her liver.
She needs a definitive diagnosis.

I have:

1. Is this Melanoma/cancer?
2. Is this related to her eye melanoma even tho she had succesful treatemnt 2 years ago? 3)Why are her tummy & ankles so swollen?
3. Why is she so yellow?
4. She was very well up until December, why has she become so ill so quickly?
5. What are the treatment options?
6. Is there any medication/treatement that will cure this and make it not come back?
7. Where will she have this treatment?
8. If not...what now?

My brain is fuddled and stressed, cant think straight, anything i have missed?

sorry

Melanoma is a skin cancer- no?

Swollen tummy, ankles and yellow skin are the result of liver problems- it's not functioning properly.

They may be able to operate to remove the tumour- but maybe not- depends how much liver is affected.

They can probably offer chemo- but you need to discuss the prognosis- rates of success over the side effects.

Traditionally yes, she had it in her eye, now has it in her liver..apparently.

i need these questions answering for mil, fil,bil & dh.

I know the answers, they dont, they need to know and be told by an expert in order grasp the seriousness of her deteriorating condition.

Are they going to be attending the consultation with the drs then or are you feeding back info? I feel i don't understand- if you say that you know what the asnwers are- but they don't.

They are going to the consultation, they have no idea about anything medical.
Im a nurse, 22 years, but its not my place to tell them anything.
So i am writing down questions for them to ask, the clarify from an expert.

sorry, im a bit fuzzy, night shift last night, not been to bed today so wrecked, but stressed about the appointment and what they will be told. I know its not going to be good.

Maybe leave it tot he drs to decide how much the damily can cope with knowing? IME they tell the minimum unless the patient and family press for more clarity. It also depends on whether your MIL is in the room as well, and how much she wants to know- it's her body!

she will of course be in the room,
dh has asked me to make a list.
Yes it IS her body, thanks. well aware of this.

Wise words about allowing the Dr to gauge from their promps and how they cope with the info at the time.
He may answer all of thier questions, without them asking any tbh

Think i will leave well alone.

I just meant that she is the one to be calling the shots about her prognosis- ie it's her body.

her family can talk to the dr alone if they want, but while she is there it is up to her to ask questions and the dr to answer. The dr will go by what she wants to know. Even if the family ask questions the drs will not be completely open if they feel your MIL does not want to hear some painful facts.

P.s. your family really ought to be asking your MIl what she wants to know.

Is she the sort of person who can cope with bad news- or does she want hope- no matter what the odds are?

If the news is bad, would she want them to know- and do they want to know?

P.s. your family really ought to be asking your MIl what she wants to know

yep, done that, she says she is too weary to think..(oromorph, copd, ascites SOB, sats prob 80% or less, no sleep due to pain)

Gonna do as you suggest, just leave it and let it flow. Family want /need answers. She wants them all with her.

Sorry to hear about your mil :(

I personally think it would be a good thing to go with a list of questions. Even if your DH keeps it in his pocket and never gets it out.
We were in a similar situation a few years ago with my mil. The consultant did not tell them everything they wanted to know, and because they were quite shellshocked during the appointment, they came away with many unasked questions. Looking back, if they had a basic list, it would have helped them immensely.