chemotherapy: How to help a friend

[paranoid2android]

Hi everyone, just wondering if someone can help me. In the last few months, I've been getting friendly with a neighbour of mine. She's had cancer for a year, and is just about to start chemotherapy. I don't know her very well, and there is a bit of a language barrier as I live abroad. Can anyone tell me what I could do to help her, eg. maybe bring a meal over for her, etc. we are not great friends yet, so obviously I don't want to intrude into her life too much. I'm just not sure how bad she will feel once the chemo starts and if she'll want company for a cup of tea, or something or if she'll be too ill for that, any suggestions would be great thanks.

You sound lovely!
When I had chemo I had different friends come with me for the actual chemo session - I didn't feel I'll until about an hour after it had finished and it took 5 hours. Sometimes we looked through magazine etc
Meal when she is better is lovely (between sessions), flowers, new mag etc

How lovely. I've been looking after two relatives going through chemo and good neighbours have been a life saver for our family. I think company & being around for a cup of tea is great. It's a massive change going from having freedom to get out and about to then getting stuck in the house with symptoms & the need to avoid crowds. It's easy to get down & bored.

Offering to gets bits of shopping can also be good. The nausea can make people fussy with food and shopping daily is often more appealing but not always possible if you're feeling shit. This was a stressful part for me, fitting it all in - doing house jobs, shop daily, cook and spend time together all within a time frame.

May be offer to go for a walk together? It's important to remain as active as possible & company can encourage people to get out when they don't fancy it but feel good about it afterwards. Doesn't have to be far.

HTH

thanks for the great advice, I will take flowers, and offer to help with shopping etc. I have 5 month old baby so wouldn't be able to go to the chemo sessions, and as we are still getting to know each other really i don't know if she'd want that.
If she does have the energy for walking then that would be great, I live in a small village ib the country and am always out walking.

Taking round a meal, leaving treats on the doorstep, just pushing a note through the door from time to time reminding her you're there and up for a coffee is all good. I appreciated people who let me know they were thinking of me, but weren't too pushy iyswim, so texts better than phone calls, or cards/ notes which weren't beset by lilies and all things funeral (honestly I had so many of those, you'd have thought I'd died - beyond tactless! ). Getting to know when her rounds of chemo are and knowing when she'll feel at her most low is also a nice thing to do. Idea of her coming walking with and your baby you sounds spot on too.

My mum has been supporting her friend through cancer recently. She and a couple of other women take it in turns to go and stay during chemo & recovery.

When my mum is there she:
Helps with housework - laundry, ironing, hoovering etc.
Takes stacks of magazines, books etc.
Cooks light but nutritious food that freezes well - soups, stewed fruit etc - so that her friend has a selection when she feels able to eat.
Watches a lot of telly / DVDs with her - keeps her company without requiring conversation / entertainment etc.

Obviously if you don't know neighbour that well some of these might need to be adapted - but I think offering concrete help like "shall i whip the hoover round / do the washing up whilst you have a rest" is always better than "let me know if there is anything I can do."