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Original poster

what is your funniest paranoid mummy moment?

29 replies

chapsmum · 20/01/2006 13:12

here's your starter for ten...
My ds was 2 weeks old when he caught a cold. I was in the shower steaming the poor soul stripped to his nappie!!
Anyway found a lum on his chest, right under his nipple, had no mumnet so i PANICKED
marched to the local childrens a and e where i made very neurotic notes of all his vital signs, then rhymed of his bowel habits for last 4 days,temp pattern etc etc
So Im waiting for the diagnosis and the doctor is laughing, laughing, this is really serious, he has a lump on his chest!
Actually your little chap has breasts, BREASTS
ive never been so embarrased!
/untill the next week when i didn't realise the swelling in his groin was a testicle, I think i delivered my common sence with my placenta!!
Someoe make me feel beter

OP posts:
tangerinecath · 20/01/2006 13:44

When dd was about 6 days old she started making these really weird noises while she was asleep... I was beside myself with worry and all set to rush her to A&E, dh rang NHS direct, I could hardly speak for crying I was so convinced she was really ill, they had me hold the phone to her so they could listen and I had to wake her up to make sure she was conscious and watch her to make sure she wasn't turning blue... they decided that there was nothing wrong with her. Turns out she was snoring. Yes, that's right, snoring

So Chapsmum it's not just you

Original poster
chapsmum · 20/01/2006 13:46

lol, thats a good one!! so glad i'm not alone...

OP posts:
Meanoldmummy · 20/01/2006 13:49

My neurosis started before he was norn - I was a bit jumpy because I had a horrendous pregnancy. I was inhospital when I was about 28 weeks and pushed the panic button, almost screaming in terror, because I had been woken by my baby making violent juddering movements inside me. It shook the whole bed. The midwife came running in and I exploded "I think he's having convulsions, he could be dying, you got to do something"...doctors were paged, machines were rushed in - five minutes later everyone was laughing at me.

It was hiccups

Meanoldmummy · 20/01/2006 13:49

born, not norn!!

LeahE · 20/01/2006 13:52

I've heard that about hiccups from several people, so you're definitely not alone!

Lio · 20/01/2006 14:17

Crying screaming child in middle of night, so out of character that we got dressed and got in the car to get him checked out at a+e to find out what the hell was wrong, child promptly fell asleep, prob just a bit tired and cranky. Dur.

Original poster
chapsmum · 20/01/2006 14:28

tee hee this is great...

OP posts:
Original poster
chapsmum · 20/01/2006 14:38

just thought of another one,
My wee chap is b fead, and in the early days I seemed to become obsessed by his poo!!!!
So much sop that when it when it changed colour, I sent a pictur message to my friend who is a dr with the caption, Is this normal
she replyed that the chap was fine but it was most certainly not normal and that I should stop txt her about sh*t

OP posts:
Dingle · 20/01/2006 14:40

I can remember the week from health hell a few years back. Amelia , who wasn't even 1 at the time,had been taken to our local emergency doctors at the weekend. She had an eye infection and looked as if she had done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. A few days later DS , who was about 3 decided to drink the fairy Liquid that he was using in the garden to blow bubbles. I remember ringing NHS and them telling me it wouldn't do him any harm, but might make him rather loose at one end. A few days after that DS fell in the garden and cut all his lip open, I was frightened to ring anyone for advice in case they thought I was a bad parent. Bless him I can still picture him, crying his eyes out, covered in blood , standing at the patio doors while he took his wellies off...I know I trained him well, but I felt so very guilty about the fact he took his wellies off first!

Dinosaur · 20/01/2006 14:42

I was changing DS3's nappy one day when he was about a year old and thought he had some kind of strange growth sticking out of his side!!!

It was his ribcage...

Marina · 20/01/2006 14:45

dinosaur, I had exactly the same eejit experience with dd the other day...what's that lump...it was her ribs
I also remember being laughed at by an NHS Direct person for asking if sudocrem was toxic if eaten. Her precise words were, "what do you think?"
LOL at some of these

Meanoldmummy · 20/01/2006 14:48

I got laughed at by a doctor on NHS direct for describing DS2's digestive predicament as "he's sh*tting moon rocks". It was very alarming at the time, I can assure you!

Marina · 20/01/2006 14:49

I think laughing at hysterical mothers is probably listed as an NHS Direct Call-Handler perk of the job, MOM

tangerinecath · 20/01/2006 14:55

I reckon NHS direct have me flagged on their system as "hysterical raving lunatic", whenever I ring them up they always end up worrying more about me than about dd/dh

mummytosteven · 20/01/2006 14:58

DS, 12 months, very very slightly runny nose, off his solids, still drinking, screaming for hours (not like him at all!) so took him to the Walk-In Centre convinced it must be ear/chest/throat infection. The nice nurse kindly explained to me that any kid screaming that loudly was obviously NOT having any breathing problems! And yes, it was just the start of a cold!

festiveface · 20/01/2006 15:02

Had read about 'abscence attacks' ( form of epilepsy) and then convinced myself ds was having them, but no, he's just ignorant

ds1 shouted very loudly and animatedly that ds2 couldn't stand up, that he kept falling back to the floor. i come rushing in ready to be faced with something requiring hospital treatment to find them laughing and spinning themselves around.

i'm sure i have done far worse than this actually, i'll have to have a think.

festiveface · 20/01/2006 15:04

I phoned my health visitor once and said that ds had brought back all his milk, and did she think he had a bug and should see a doctor. (think he was a few weeks old)
a rushed sounding hv just said, well, you know him best!

batters · 20/01/2006 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meanoldmummy · 20/01/2006 15:39

I did that when ds1 was 5 weeks-ish. He'd been asleep for 7 hours without waking for a feed...I was so hung up on feeding schedules and the whole "is he getting enough" thing that I totally panicked. The NHS Direct nurse said "why don't you try and get some sleep before he wakes up then, instead of making a fuss, you silly woman!"

Original poster
chapsmum · 20/01/2006 15:53

you poor,not silly mean old mummy, how unkind!!
I still have relapses but you can see the fear in a paranoid mummy...

OP posts:
Meanoldmummy · 20/01/2006 15:57

Thank you chapsmum I am still a jittery mummy, I think I always will be...I'm getting used to being laughed at though!!!

mummytosteven · 20/01/2006 16:03

yes I sympathise with that MOM, having had a jaundiced baby hospitalised at 2.5 weeks old!

Meanoldmummy · 20/01/2006 16:06

sick babies are no fun...both of mine were really ill and it nearly turned my hair white. It's all very well for health professionals to guffaw when we ARE overreacting - sometimes we're not!!!

mummytosteven · 20/01/2006 16:07

going through the jaundice thing you get ever so paranoid about any sleepiness!

Meanoldmummy · 20/01/2006 16:09

It sounds terrifying MTS. It's so hard to keep a sleepy baby awake, too. Jaundice is one of the few things mine didn't have!!!

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