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Embarrassed and fat

17 replies

fatmum · 14/11/2003 21:20

I am bulimic and don't know what to do about it .....
First time I have mentioned it to ANYONE ...
Hence the change in name

OP posts:
Norma · 14/11/2003 21:29

Right Fatmum, don't panic, you are on the road to recovery now that you have mentioned it. I may be shot down for saying it but I would definately not advise telling anyone like a doctor because it will go on your medical records as a form of mental illness and may well unfairly stop you from following certain careers in the future. I used to have the same problem but got over it on my own (no one knows, until now!) and I would not be in the job i've got now if there had been any hint of it on my med. records. I won't say anymore on the subject until you've had some advice from the others but if you need/want to talk privately then no problem.

Slink · 14/11/2003 21:40

I have to say i agree with Norma, i have never suffered from Bulima, but like most women in the world have issues on my weight....every since i had DD.

Anyway i digress, i worked with a young woman in the Social Work field and she was employed blah blah but then they checked her medical records and found that she had suffered from bulima, she left as they felt she was unsafe to work with children, she had it 2years prior to the job.

Your on the road to recovery if you can talk about it though. xxxlet us me know how your getting on.xxxxx

M2T · 14/11/2003 21:48

How long has this been going on for Fatmum (plleeeease change that name!)?

And ARE you overweight at all?

My cousin had bulimia for 10 yrs and thankfully she is over the worst (or so we all think). But she is incredibly thin.

pie · 14/11/2003 21:50

If you don't want it talk to your GP then you can go to overeaters anoymous, they are a support group for all sorts of eating disorders.

Personally speaking, as a recovering bulimic and anorexic the most important thing is that you get the help you need. If that means talking to a dr and having it on your medical records then thats is what you should do. If you can find help by yourself then more power too you.

Bulimia is an illness that needs treating before it ruins your life. There is no point thinking about the job you may or may not get in the future if you have no health to even apply for a job.

pie · 14/11/2003 21:54

I agree with M2T please change your name, you don't have to be so hard on yourself!

Dinny · 14/11/2003 21:57

Well said, Pie. I totally agree. I have had this for years and am on the verge of asking GP for help ( I am OK at the moment, but don't think it has gone for good.

Take care, Fatmum (please change your name!) and e-mail me if you want to talk further. Dinny

doormat · 14/11/2003 21:58

good advice pie
dinny and fatmum hope everything works out ok

aloha · 14/11/2003 21:59

Private counselling may well help you - no mention on your GP's records. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is recognised as particularly effective and it's practical and doesn't involve years of therapy. There is a relevant website. Where abouts are you in the country? I may even be able to recommend someone. I'm going to look up the website now. Agree with others, very well done on posting about it - you've definitely made the first and biggest step.

aloha · 14/11/2003 22:03

Private counselling may well help you - no mention on your GP's records. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is recognised as particularly effective and it's practical and doesn't involve years of therapy. There is a relevant website. Where abouts are you in the country? I may even be able to recommend someone. I'm going to look up the website now. Agree with others, very well done on posting about it - you've definitely made the first and biggest step.

pie · 14/11/2003 23:39

Been thinking more about how you can help yourself.

If you can aford it think about aloha's suggestion of a private counsellor.

Take some vitamins, especially ones containing the electrolytes. Bulimia leeches the good stuff and when you are low in certain things your brain doesn't work very well anyway. It becomes physical harder to think in more positive way.

Are you laxative abusing? Do you have peak times of day/week for vomiting? Do you know if you have emotional triggers.

Perhaps you could start by keeping a diary of what you eat and when you purge, as well as noting the emotions you are experiencing at that time.

You may learn alot fast and then this would give you a place to start if you decide you want to ask for help or work through it yourself.

Its very hard to support yourself with no-one. Is there anyone you trust enough to tell? It would probably help not to feel so alone with the bulimia.

And please try to be kind to yourself xxx

LHP · 14/11/2003 23:51

I agree re: cognitive therapy. You don't necessarily need a councellor for it as there are books on the subject you can work through. Can't find mine at the moment to give you the title ,but I'm sure Amazon would help. I also think that if you do go down the gp route, then some of the ssri anti depressants like prozac would help. I'm so pleased you have taken the first step to bringing this under control.

fatmum · 15/11/2003 13:11

Thanks for all the advice. I never thought about having it on my medical records; that would have been another disaster.
I'm probably not THAT over weight, but I DO have that droopy tummy syndrome. I am 5ft 6 and weigh about 10stone 10. All my friends are on the 9 stone mark Ever since being a young child I was always led to believe that I was a bit of a porker. I must admit, I did eat all the time. I can see the same traits with DD and absolutely will not broach the subject with her.
What really annoys me is that even though I have bulimia I am a fairly level headed person. I always believe that those with eating disorders have issues they cannot resolve. I don't want to " go there " with a counsellor. ( Can of worms ?? ) I don't know. PLUS I cannot afford it.
I think that even though I have this, it's NOT ruining my life and it's not ruling my life either. if I go out for dinner - I am not running home to put my fingers down my throat (sorry ).

My worst times are when I am giving the kids their tea. I pick at their foor and once I have started I go for packets of crisps, chocolate,.... knowing that in half an hour it'll be gone. Then I eat later with DH. IF I stuff myself, then half of it comes up, otherwise I don't bother.
My problem is the compulsive eating bit.
Sorry to go on ....

OP posts:
aloha · 15/11/2003 13:50

FM, cognitive behavioural therapy isn't about going into your past or opening up cans of worms or talking about unresolved issues at all. It's just about finding simple, practical ways to solve a specific problem, esp a behavioral one such as compulsive eating. I has proved by far the most effective treatment for problems like these. It doesn't have to be expensive. I can give you some contact numbers if you like.

Norma · 15/11/2003 16:59

Fatmum, you really must change your name!!
Lots of people who are basically sensible, rational people just like you, suffer from this rotten disorder. I started vomiting at 16 and had it on and off, but mostly on, for the next ten years. I don't know how old you are but I found that age and it's accompanying 'wisdom' definately helped me to grow to love my body for the womanly, nurturing shape it is. I used to look in the mirror and make myself tell myself how beautiful I was and how I must truly love and accept the uniqueness of my body, 'flaws and all'. Always eat breakfast and try to love and respect yourself for all the good things that you do and for all the love and appreciation that your family have for you. I used to have very little self-respect or self-esteem despite the image I tried to project to the contrary, and I always wanted to be the 'perfect' woman with the 'perfect' body shape. Now I know that it is all one big media con and that my own self image was distorted through years of superficial steroetyping. You are beautiful fatmum and don't let that voice in your head convince you otherwise.

fisil · 15/11/2003 19:12

Could you try NHS Direct for some initial advice? They always ask whether you want to keep the call confidential, and you could tell them that you are looking for confidential treatment.

Good luck, cyber hug ((((()))))

bourne · 15/11/2003 23:41

have you seen this thread?

I know just how you feel.
I said the same thing.
It is not really the making myself sick that's the problem it's the stuffing my face. ANd I don't feel I have any unresoloved deep issues causing it, just i am a bit fat and weak willed!!!

zebra · 16/11/2003 07:40

I think "plump" would be fairer than "fat". If you're 10st+10 and 5'6" you're only just into the overweight zone. I went to Overeaters Anonymous and they really are all about Compulsive Overeating Behavior and how to stop. I don't go there any more, but it was the right way for me to get started before I could move on. It is a "Take what you want and Leave the Rest" type of programme, and totally free and anonymous. Maybe you could go along and see if any of the ideas are helpful to you? It's ok to just sit and listen, plenty of people do!

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