Gift/Help for friend and childminder who is starting Radiotherapy next week

[hobbgoblin]

Hi all

My lovely childminder has, in the last two weeks, gone from having a couple of lumps in her breast to surgery and radiotherapy due to a Cancer diagnosis.

It's all been frighteningly fast and whilst that's a good thing in terms of her getting treatment, it is only just catching up with her I think.

She's tired and sore as she had surgery last Friday. She insists on continuing to look after her mindees, but is accepting help from another friend who also does childminding.

As well as beign childminder to my youngest, she is also a 'school mum' friend and I'd really like to make some kind of supportive gesture.

Lots of people have bought her flowers and things but I hoped to do something or give something a bit more practical if I can.

Is there anything anyone can think of or recall (if you have had similar treatment) that would be helpful? I know she will be very tired in the weeks to come...

I would normally bake or cook for people in this kind of situation as I can do this fairly well, but my friend is an accomplished bake and cook and so my offerings would be inferior!

Help please dear mnetters :)

Anyone with ideas?

Really don't mean to sound harsh but don't let her mind your child. It's ridiculous that she is working both in terms of physical and emotional recovery.
Can you afford to give her a week or more paid time off?

Not wishing to sound harsh either but I feel it's important that just because she has cancer that doesn't mean all decisions of hers need to be overridden by others. Being ill means a loss of control as it is. I have provision for when caring for my dd is too much but I won't tell my friend what to do. I have asked her on several occasions to promise to tell me if work is too much and advised her not to overface herself but beyond that would be disrespectful of me I feel. She is a smart woman with cancer not just a woman with cancer.

Radiotherapy gives really dry skin, so some really nice body lotion would be good.

When a pal of mine was going through it I got her a Jo Malone travel candle to light when she felt stressed.

As to the baking, she's not going to feel like doing it, so anything will be a bonus!

Brilliant! Thank you. That's great advice. She loves candles too and the body butter is exactly the type of helpful gift I was thinking of :)

Just remember, she won't be able to bring anything out after the radiotherapy, so give her some small plastic bottles to put the lotion in.

You can't use anything other than Aqueous cream during Rads, though lovely cream for recovery is a nice idea. I'd say baking nice things is a great idea. Or do you know her taste in terms of tv/ films? A box set to collapse in front of's a good present if you do. Or something symbolic like some seeds to plant is a nice touching idea. Someone bought me some sunflower seeds which was very sweet of them.

I think you're right about respecting her need to be in control, but could she be carrying on because she's worried about losing money? If so, you could offer to pay her the same but send your child for less time.