Just found out my grandad has cancer.....

[TambaTheDragonSlayer]

I dont know what to think or how to feel

He has cancer of the ospharagus (sp?)

He is 69.

So sorry to hear this Tamba. I found out that my Dad who is a very similar age to your Grandad,has cancer of the bowel and is going to see the oncologist tomorrow to find out more about the surgery they are going to do. I will keep my fingers crossed for your Grandad.

so sorry, sending hugs

Thank you

He had the camera down the throat thing on friday i think.

We 'dont do' I love you, I cant recal a time i have ever said that to my nan or grandad and vice versa although we know its true, its just never said.

That will be useful for initial diagnoses Tamba. Sometimes that and scan is all that is needed, but sometimes small op is needed too. Just because you have never been an I love you family dosen't mean it always has to be that way.

sorry should make clear small op is to ascertain whether big op is possible.

Thanks

I just feel numb. I should call them but im scared too

You will probably feel better if you do - Sending big hugs and prayers coming your way.

Thanks

Dh just made me sit down and watch a stupid film which made me laugh (dodgeball) bless him. It was what I needed.

I havent called them today, I just cant.

My nan and grandad are coming round to drop some stuff off, what am I going to say to them. I dont know what to say or do, what should i do?

anyone?

They know you know don't they?

Do you think you would like to give them a hug?

Just give them both a bigger than normal hug, and let them lead things, if they want to talk, then talk, if they gloss over it just accept it. People deal with things in different ways.

they know that I know.

I have never hugged them in my life, they would probably have me sectioned if i started now, or they would cry and get upset and I cant deal with that. I am so selfish.

I have just been pretending its not true but now they are going to be on my doorstep and i cant do that.

I cant do emotional things like this

IMHO I would take the lead from them then

Tamba, i'm very sorry to hear this, only just read this thread.

No you are not being selfish, you are in shock therefore tis hard to face the emotional side of hearing such news! I agree with others take the lead from them and probably act 'how you normally would with them' unless they wish to discuss things further.

(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) hope the visit goes ok!!!!! Take care Tamba!

Tamba how are you feeling today ?

Awe Kanga, thank you for asking, you are so sweet.

I am still pretending that nothing is wrong It seems easier.

I know he has gone if for a CT scan today and they are hoping they will be able to operate.

I dont know how my nan is going to cope. They look after my great grandparents and also she is totally dependant on my grandad - she doesnt drive etc

Let us know how it goes Tamby won't you?

will do Marsy, thanks xxxx

I think whatever makes it easier for you to cope is the right way to go for you atm iyswim

Everybody is different in how they want to deal with things like this

Does your nan have friends around that can help with transport etc.?

We have a car and are able to give lifts and stuff when dh isnt working and my mom drives so will be able to help when shes not working but I think thats about it.

I got it wrong - he didnt have a CT scan today, thats in a few days and also its not cancer of the osephagus its cancer of the gullet - anyone know anything about that?

Oh Tamba, I'm so sorry...missed this thread yesterday. I don't know anything about gullet cancer but hope the scan gives the best possible news.

ps jsut googled for you - 'gullet' same as 'oesophagus', so whatever you've been told about one applies to the other. xxx