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advice needed for bf to support and advise gf on abortion method

1 reply

adviceplease123 · 11/01/2012 11:47

Hi
My GF and i are both 21 and at university, we made a mistake with contraceptive and now she is pregnant(we think around 4 weeks but are really not sure). She straight away decided to have an abortion for a huge number of reasons, even before she told me she was pregant. I agree with her and our reasoning and ethical views are ours alone, however i would completely support her whatever her decision had been. She is going for a consultation appointment at BPAS tommorow. She seems set on having a medical abortion, even though she hasn't researched the different methods much, as obviously she is scared and doesn't want to be thinking about the procedure all the time. However i want to be able to provide her with as much advice, information and support and thus would love some advice from people as to surgical/medical and any help and tips you may be able to provide for me so that i can try and make it as stress free and easy for her as possible. I have done a lot of research on the internet, but a lot of info seems to be from people with alterior motives e.g care confidential and the trouble is that people with bad experiences are more likely to write about it, as the majority,for whom it was ok, just move on with their lives.

sorry for the ramblings, i am just quite stressed about the whole situation
thanks for any help you can give

OP posts:
EllenandBump · 11/01/2012 17:49

It must be a very confusing and stressful time for you and my heart goes out to you both. I have had two missed miscarriages, which is where although the baby has died, you havent actually had a miscarriage, but not sure if the procedure is the same in these circumstance as in that the baby has to be removed. The medical management is pills which will induce a miscarriage basically, both mine were between 8 and 9 weeks when there hearts stopped, this for me was very painful and traumatic, where as i had the surgical management with the second, i was put out under General aneasthetic, and came round and felt okay. It was much less traumatic than medical management, also with medical management it is not necessarily a complete miscarriage (not sure if same for abortion though) Really sitting with her at the appointment and asking would help. Either way she has the abortion it will still be recorded on her medical files. i went under surgically and was released the same day and you wouldnt have been able to tell any differently. x

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