......and what a horrible time was had there. (for those that don't know I've been suffering symptoms of abnormal bleeding, lower back pain, rectal pain, bowel problems, frequent urination, pelvic pain etc for a little while now since baby was born and I was completely terrified I had something severe such as cervical cancer which I know is probably not the case but it doesn't help when I have severe PND)
For a start I had to wait anxious and going out of my mind until a half hour after my appointment (she let someone go before me) and she pretty much forgot as soon as I walked in that she'd booked the appointment for me. She complained saying she'd only booked the appointment on the assumption that I'd had sexual intercourse (which is wrong because I had symptoms of infection, why would I give that to my partner in any case?!) and was annoyed in a way I hadn't tried and that she wouldn't even attempt to check me out 'down there' as I had given such a horrible experience last time. Oh my god seven weeks after having a baby I'm not suddenly gonna be inviting someone to shove a speculum inside me who do you think I am!? For a start I was really tender at that point still so I couldn't help the fact I was still sore though she made me feel so awful for being so. When I said about my paranoia she went on to yell at me saying I should stop looking online for symptoms (well, okay, I shouldn't read into things but then they don't give me any goddamn answers) and that I'm banned from coming back to the doctors with those symptom complaints or anything related. She reluctantly referred me to a gynocologist though she thinks I'm so mentally impaired that I need to be put to sleep to be looked at. wtf. She yelled at me for having anxiety and said that the medication should help me and so should the therapy I eventually get so I can stop worrying about silly things. Who is she to disregard my feelings and symptoms so casually when in actual fact no effing person has examined me since I had the baby!? I know it's rare to have anything serious, but in any case peace of mind man!! And not only that but its not like it doesn't EVER happen, for gods sake
Am I just... an idiot or something? Did I do the wrong thing by going to the doctors for advice?! I mean who else do you go to? The only option I have is to go all the way back to the hospital after christmas and get a full STD check up, maybe they will have more goddamn sympathy. I thought doctors were supposed to care. D: I just feel so horrible and now I probably won't even know whether I'm okay until my referral from the gyne comes back which could take forever so who knows. I don't think I'm taken seriously anymore because I've complained too much and given them a case of the boy who cried wolf, but seriously if I have strange symptoms I thought they'd wanna sort them out. SIGH I'm so miserable now. :(