Is my DH depressed?

[ishedepressed]

Regular who has name changed. I've also put this in the mental health forum but thought it might get more response here.

I worry that DH is depressed.

This has been a bad year for us. After a really bad dose of flu earlier in the year he developed complications which meant he needed an op. He'd been fighting an infection- real cause undiagnosed- for months before his op and was given loads of antibiotics. It's now 2 months since the op and he still feels "done in" even though his surgeon says it's all healed etc.

On top of this our marriage was in trouble- I left him for a while- weeks, not months- and was seeing someone else. He knew about this and our marriage was touch and go for a while. I came back and we are working on things. Please don't judge as I don't need that- it's much better now and I am worried over his health.

His dr thinks he has post viral fatigue, but I wonder if he is depressed.
These are his symptoms:
*poor sleep- very restless and wakes early.
*feels lethargic and has a "funny tummy" ( maybe due to all the ABs)
*has what he calls a muzzy head
*sometimes he just looks and feels "sad"- but that is maybe because normally he is hyperactive and now can't be due to energy levels.

On the plus side- he has got a good appetite, enjoys work and manages to travel overseas and in UK for work- but feels shattered at end of the day.

Both his parents suffered from depression- his mother very seriously- had to go into hospital for months and had electric shock treatment, and his dad had a breakdwon in his 40s.

Any ideas?

Hello. You and your Husband hae been through so much this year.
A diagnosis of depression could be made if a person has been feeling low in themselves or a period of at least two week along with either loss of energy or interest in hobbies, life etc. THe important thing with depression out is to know how he is feeling and if he has thoughts to do anything to harm himself. If you are concerned for his mental well-being then get him to see the GP.
From what you say it appears that he may be depressed.
He has had a lot to deal with in the last year, what about counselling for the both of you?

Thanks very much.

He has seen his GP a couple of times but depression was never mentioned, and DH is quite resistant to taking drugs even if he was- he goes along with doing exercise which has been shown to be very effective for mild depression.

He also discussed his symptoms with his surgeon /consultant who suggested post viral fatigue.

He is not thinking of self harm and denies he might be depressed now but acknowledges it might have been the case whils I was living away.

He had counselling through HR at work, and I had it on my own trying to find an answer to whether to stay or go, so think we have been through that to an extent.

He still has interest in hobbies etc but doesn't have the energy to do as much as he'd like to.

No problem, im happy to be try and help. Exercise is good for mild depression and it has been to shown to reduce the risk of relapse of depression. Depression does not have to be treated with drugs if it can be helped.
Post viral fatigue is possible. It is briilliant you have both accessed counselling.
The fact that he is enjoying his hobbies is a good sign. You just need to ensure you are both having a healthy lifestyle to help his body and mind recover from the ops and all the stress etc you have been through.
I wish you all the very best for your marriage and that you have a lovely Christmas :) Im on here regulalry so please just ask if you have any queries.