Gutted & Hurt

[shellmc]

Little background, i have been on here for a while,
I have a DS age 2, after i had him i started having various problems, and symptoms, after visiting my GP i was asked to stop the pill in April this year to have blood tests done, as the pill takes at least 6 weeks to fully come out of your system. During past months since then i had abnormal LH FSH levels from bloods taken at GP, and along with the results i was having very irregular periods, ranging from 43 days to 66 days!! Hair growth on my face tummy and toes, and bad skin.
Got referred to endocrinologist end of sept. More bloods done and examined-she told me she was suspecting PCOS, well the results came back confirming it. High LH FSH levels High Androstendione levels and borderline Testosterone.
Been started on Metformin just last week, and also had to increase my Thyroxine as i have underactive thyroid.
While at doctors she mentioned contraception to me as metformin will regulate my perioods and high chance of pregnancy, but untill i get my levels right she advises me to wait before ttc again.
Altho i dont want to ttc just yet i would like to have another DC in the future, but was a bit worried than by taking cerazette again with metformin will cause more trouble as met will regulate me but cerazette will prob stop my periods.

Anyhow to cut a long story short, was at Gp again on friday with throat infection and got more tablets, he mentioned maybe trying another form of contraception for now, but i cant take certain ones because of migraines so hes gonna ring me back next week.............when i got home and was discussing it with DH, i was shocked that he turned to me and said 'well il just go for the snip' i was like 'erm why though, i can get sorted with a diferrent type of contracpetion im sure'.......but the conversation went on and on then he told me he doesnt want any more kids. We havent really talked about having anymore, but it seems like my chance of having anymore has gone.
He did explain to me that he was wanting to make it easier on me having to take so much tablets, and would rather i got sorted and felt better which i appriciate but im hurt also that he dont want anymore kids. He has a DS my stepson to a prev relationship he is 10. He often says we have 2 thats enough and that we couldnt afford another which we couldnt really, but everyone else seems to manage. Dont get me wrong im not desperate to have another, but the chance in the future would be nice im only 26, DH is 35.
I dont know whether to agree to this or not ??? It seems so final to me, although when i said that to DH he said no it can be reversed, and that hes thinking of my health which like i say i appriciate he is worried, but if hes told me he dont want anymore kids then theres no chance of him ever getting it reversed.
Please help

it seems to me that you both need a proper sit down, all cards on the table and really talk it all through

on the one hand your DH says he'll have the snip, then he says it's reversible

IMO sterilisation for either male or female should be when the person is 110 % convinced they do not see any more children in their current or any other future relationships....

if he is thinking of your health , then that is very nice, but seems that there are other avenues to be explored before he goes for the snip

ALso , you are only 26 so I can totally understand that you feel that there is time for more children. and if he is concerned about not being enough £, then that is a valid concern, but again you are both still of an age where waiting another 5 years to have another child is nit going to be an issue and things could be totally different then

Lulumama thankyou for the kind words :)

Yes we didnt hardly speak friday night or most of yesterday, as he said 'i need to have a think about it, as we both want different things!! ' Obv it seems like his mind is made up. He does worry over money, he doesnt have a secure job, but works hard for every penny, and my current job isnt safe either been there coming up 10 years but chance of redundancys by summer 2012. I know its daft to have another child when we are only just managing to get by now, but like you say another 5 years and that could be different.
I just feel hurt because when i met DH i was 19 and i knew he had a DS age 3 and iv treated like my own since, i love him to bits and dont make any difference between him and my our own DS, and i know he says we have 2 but i dont......if you know what i mean yes he is my stepson and we have joint access with his mam, but he isnt mine.

I dont know what my mind is doing atm, i dont feel i really really want another, but id never say NEVER.

he's said he needs to think about things, but that is not a blanket statement of 'you want more children, i don't , so let's go our separate ways'

while the lines of communication are open, you both must be honest and open
i'm not surprised at 26 you can't say for sure that you never want more children , i'm 10 years older than you, and only really just in the last year or two really felt that I never want more children.

i am sorry that you are feeling like this, but having/not having more children is not really something that can be compromised on, and you need to make sure that you are both on the same page.

on the positive side, you are only 26, so (and hopefully it won't happen ) this relationship does break down, you do have time on your side to find someone else that you might end up with and having more children with

I dont really want to comment on the rights and wrongs of your DS, snip, children, etc., but sometimes medication is the only way to sort out your own body. As a lot of your symptons are hormonal, contraceptives can and will sort these out.

I went on the marina coil to sort me out but different medication is suited for different people.

I would encourage discussions down this track for the time being, get your body sorted and then make decisions about your future, but you clearly cant carry on the way you are at the moment.

Thanks lulumama ans iamseeingstars
We need to talk this through i know, but atm things arnt very good. Because i didnt seem happy with the idea when DH first suggested it, he has been very quiet and harly spoken past couple of days!!
We keep falling out and have had a barny this morning about petty things.

The coil is probably going to be best option i think. I dont know what to do ??